🐷 The Killstream General Discussion Thread - Discuss Ethan Ralph's stagnant Killstream and his appearances on other shows.

[Temperance]

Ralph says he hasn't been ordered to do community service; he's doing it preemptively on the advice of his lawyer, I guess to (hopefully) endear himself to the court.

Ralph talks about the last time he did community service. On a dare from his friends, he went on a joyride in his mother's car at age 11. He didn't pay attention to the road, ran into a parked car, and totaled his mother's car. The judge was a big fan of the Killstream Ralph's wrestling shirt, so he went easy on him.
Ralph ended up having to do 24 hours of community service, which he served at a fire-station. The fire fighters just made him wipe the fire truck with a rag a bit, and then let him just watch TV.

RALPH IS AN UNDERGROUND FILM-MAKING LEGEND

Ralph teased a feature/exposé on Null's father the entire stream, but this was all he showed, right at the end:

 

[Polyboros2]

Ralph teased a feature/exposé on Null's father the entire stream, but this was all he showed, right at the end:

So he has nothing. On the occasion he has something good he can't delay gratification long enough to set up a big reveal. When he has nothing, he hypes the hype of what he has before eventually embarrassingly throwing it out there trying to play it up with the all the hollering a few bumps of coke can muster.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

Ralph says he hasn't been ordered to do community service; he's doing it preemptively on the advice of his lawyer, I guess to (hopefully) endear himself to the court.
View attachment 3534341

Ralph talks about the last time he did community service. On a dare from his friends, he went on a joyride in his mother's car at age 11. He didn't pay attention to the road, ran into a parked car, and totaled his mother's car. The judge was a big fan of the Killstream Ralph's wrestling shirt, so he went easy on him.
Ralph ended up having to do 24 hours of community service, which he served at a fire-station. The fire fighters just made him wipe the fire truck with a rag a bit, and then let him just watch TV.
View attachment 3534340

RALPH IS AN UNDERGROUND FILM-MAKING LEGEND
View attachment 3534336

Ralph teased a feature/exposé on Null's father the entire stream, but this was all he showed, right at the end:
View attachment 3534337

So Ralph has been committing crimes since childhood? I’m not surprised by this in any way, shape or form,in fact it would be more of a surprise to me if he had a clean sheet up until adulthood.

 

[Schlomo Silverscreenblatt]

Ralph says he hasn't been ordered to do community service; he's doing it preemptively on the advice of his lawyer, I guess to (hopefully) endear himself to the court.
View attachment 3534341

Ralph talks about the last time he did community service. On a dare from his friends, he went on a joyride in his mother's car at age 11. He didn't pay attention to the road, ran into a parked car, and totaled his mother's car. The judge was a big fan of the Killstream Ralph's wrestling shirt, so he went easy on him.
Ralph ended up having to do 24 hours of community service, which he served at a fire-station. The fire fighters just made him wipe the fire truck with a rag a bit, and then let him just watch TV.
View attachment 3534340

RALPH IS AN UNDERGROUND FILM-MAKING LEGEND
View attachment 3534336

Ralph teased a feature/exposé on Null's father the entire stream, but this was all he showed, right at the end:
View attachment 3534337

lol this is legitimately pathetic, I was hoping for some actual info!

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

"I guess you're all too poor to have an attorney"

Or, y'know, we don't all drive like absolute jackasses and don't constantly have court battles to fight.

 

[Beef Elemental]

wrestling shirt

What the hell kind of inbred permadrunk cracked-out whore of a mother lets her son appear before a judge in a wrestling shirt? Even the dumbest nigger has more sense.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Community service counts as a job in my book. You lose Ralph!

 

[Polyboros2]

So has he actually done any community service? I expect him to talk about it and never actually get around to it, which will make it all the more funny when he loses his license(plz no jail, Your Honor).

How do you even do pre-emptive community service? Can you just go down to the courthouse and sign up for "Officially recognized community service activites"? Is he going to just read the farms at a soup kitchen, bitterly carrying the occasional box of industrial grade imitation broth when pestered, and then give the judge his volunteer sheet?

 

[Lomax]

Where I'm from 'pre-emptive community service' is called charity

 

[Failed Lurker]

Is it more likely that his attorney is advising him to do something that they can use as a basis to say "your honour, my client has been contributing to the community in a positive way"?

 

[Mexican Molotov Marauder]

Ralph talks about the last time he did community service. On a dare from his friends, he went on a joyride in his mother's car at age 11. He didn't pay attention to the road, ran into a parked car, and totaled his mother's car.

This is great, his driving hasn't improved since he was 11.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Is it more likely that his attorney is advising him to do something that they can use as a basis to say "your honour, my client has been contributing to the community in a positive way"?

Your honor my client contributes to the community. He’s putting the son of the local liquor store owner through college with the amount of booze he buys! And who is there to help the local prostitutes stay out of destitution but Ethan Ralph! Not to mention the local drug dealers get to enjoy a comfortable living all thanks to my client Ethan Ralph.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Is it more likely that his attorney is advising him to do something that they can use as a basis to say "your honour, my client has been contributing to the community in a positive way"?

Yes, his lawyer probably spent a month trying to figure out any possible way she could say that Ralph had a positive impact on those around him, and when she was unable to do so she advised him to do pre-emptive community service. Ralph acts like it's a totally common thing when a 2 second google search (which is the amount of time he puts into his legal research) shows tons of lawyers explicitly advising NOT to do this.

https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/how-would-a-judge-view-community-service-done-befo-877954.html

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Yes, his lawyer probably spent a month trying to figure out any possible way she could say that Ralph had a positive impact on those around him, and when she was unable to do so she advised him to do pre-emptive community service. Ralph acts like it's a totally common thing when a 2 second google search (which is the amount of time he puts into his legal research) shows tons of lawyers explicitly advising NOT to do this.

https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/how-would-a-judge-view-community-service-done-befo-877954.html

Lol. Lawyer thinks Ralph is screwed so is telling him some place to volunteer so she can try to convince the judge the irredeemable white trash fatty currently in three different courts contributes some value to the community. I bet the lawyer also told him to get the child support stuff squared away so that wouldn’t be yet another strike against him

Seriously, suddenly trying to do some sort of volunteer work weeks before he has to go before the judge is sheer desperation. It won’t do much good but I bet he won’t even bother to do it.

Ralph’s going to have to pay a lawyer a few thousand to get his license suspended and do community service. I guess it’s better to pay the lawyer now since Mr. William Lowry will soon have all of Ralph’s money and meager worldly possessions.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Lol. Lawyer thinks Ralph is screwed so is telling him some place to volunteer so she can try to convince the judge the irredeemable white trash fatty currently in three different courts contributes some value to the community. I bet the lawyer also told him to get the child support stuff squared away so that wouldn’t be yet another strike against him

Seriously, suddenly trying to do some sort of volunteer work weeks before he has to go before the judge is sheer desperation. It won’t do much good but I bet he won’t even bother to do it.

Ralph’s going to have to pay a lawyer a few thousand to get his license suspended and do community service. I guess it’s better to pay the lawyer now since Mr. William Lowry will soon have all of Ralph’s money and meager worldly possessions.

Correct, it's like flossing and brushing a ton before a dentist's appointment. If Ralph ever went to the dentist, he'd do this too.

 

[DownSyzePotato]

Where I'm from 'pre-emptive community service' is called charity

You need to help get that crime rate up then, buddy.

Go out and punch an old lady in the chin. Be the change.

 

[TherapyMan]

Yes, his lawyer probably spent a month trying to figure out any possible way she could say that Ralph had a positive impact on those around him, and when she was unable to do so she advised him to do pre-emptive community service. Ralph acts like it's a totally common thing when a 2 second google search (which is the amount of time he puts into his legal research) shows tons of lawyers explicitly advising NOT to do this.

https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/how-would-a-judge-view-community-service-done-befo-877954.html

Your Honor, my client Ethan Ralph may be fat, ugly, short, an alcoholic, a serial criminal with no regard for the law, and a sexual deviant who targets barely legal, mentally damaged women, but those are just labels. Labels don't tell you the full story.

Ethan Ralph contributes to this community. Without any court order and definitely not on my advice, Ethan went out and completed community service all by himself because he values the his community. Your Honor, at this time, the defense would like to submit into evidence my client's certificate of completion for two hours of community service at Dick Masterson's Mansion for Mentally Unwell Teenaged Girls.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Ralph you want to impress the judgeS? Here’s some options.
Get a job.
Pay child support.
Go to rehab.
KYS.

 

[LadiosSopp]

Yes, his lawyer probably spent a month trying to figure out any possible way she could say that Ralph had a positive impact on those around him, and when she was unable to do so she advised him to do pre-emptive community service. Ralph acts like it's a totally common thing when a 2 second google search (which is the amount of time he puts into his legal research) shows tons of lawyers explicitly advising NOT to do this.

https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/how-would-a-judge-view-community-service-done-befo-877954.html

If the judge doesn't look at that as anything other than a "you're only doing this because you know you're trying to get me to go easy on you" thing, they're either lazy or are easily swayed by emotional pleas. It's so obvious him and his lawyer are clawing at anything they can to avoid Ralph getting into trouble yet again.

 

[Chiridion]

Lol. Lawyer thinks Ralph is screwed so is telling him some place to volunteer so she can try to convince the judge the irredeemable white trash fatty currently in three different courts contributes some value to the community. I bet the lawyer also told him to get the child support stuff squared away so that wouldn’t be yet another strike against him

Ordinarily, calling charity work "pre-emptive community service" is kinda like an admission of guilt, so I imagine a lawyer that didn't hate Ralphs guts would advise against it, but Ralph is such a retard he probably admitted to the cop that he was driving 65 in a 30, so that's already out the window.

Also, it's so laughably desperate. Contributing to the community would be a track record of volunteering to food shelves, soup kitchens, homeless shelters, every week for years. 30 hours is like a wet shart-- just enough to say you did something, but not substantial enough to satisfy.