12/4/25 & 12/5/25 - Blacker Than Candace & The Dead Cat Daze
Ralph starts the show admitting the "Noir" was used because of his rosacea
Ralph has been feeding Cldo food for kittens since the summer and the vet said this was not good for an elderly cat* (0:00), After witnessing a veterinarian run a comb over his cat for 3 seconds, Ralph once again retorts about how everything the US is a scam and he gets what he claims to be $700 dollars in the US for only $169 dollars in the third world (0:35)
*For all we know, he could've been trying to reverse her aging with kitten food.
Ralph makes a very important call (0:15), Ralph hoists his pants back up before sitting down (0:35), Ralph begins eating the phone (1:25), Ralph begins playing with spoons while eating (1:40), Ralph begins licking his incredibly thin hog lips (2:15)
Ralph Turns On Candace
Despite Candace's show carrying Ralph throughout the end of September and most of October, Ralph turns on her because, much like most people in Ralphs life, she completely forgot he exists:
Ralph left his psychotic tantrum WWE Promowww he uploaded to X while he dries his tears onto Cldo's coat (0:00), Ralph returns and states the following "By the way, I'm blacker than Candace Owens, by a lot, by an awful lot." (0:35), Ralph turns his camera off again, the snot flowing out of his snout from crying is audible (3:50), Ralph returns (6:20), "I am blacker than you, by far. Memphis, Tennessee, two kids, both out of wedlock, although one of them eventually, y'know, married their mother, and that fell apart, regardless, I am much more in touch with black culture den yew Candace from Connecticut. It's not even fucking close, actually." (10:15), "You're black in name only and color only" (11:00), "She owes me everything" (12:25), "You never gave back, you forgot where you came from, those are street terms actually you wouldn't understand that*" (12:35), "I was channeling my Pink Floyd there for a second, hah-haaahh what a shur-oddd" (16:40)
*Ralph, who famously neglects his own brother, is going to claim a supposedly white darkie forgot where she came from and needs to uproot black whitey from third world sewage. Makes sense to me!
Ralph Turns On Milo
Ralph has purchased a suit to look like Nick Fuentes in hopes it will make him money (0:10), Ralph states there's no tie involved because he's too retarded to put one on (0:35), Ralph blows all of his vape pens smoke out of his left nostril (2:40)
Ralph states that Milo has unfollowed him (0:25), Ralph pretends he doesn't know why, but then quickly states it's probably because Ralph threw him under the bus after learning he has brain cancer and is going to die (0:30), "And he unfollowed me I was like wow, I must've hurt your feelings, I must've
hurt your feelings" (0:50), "I-I didn't even insult I was just joking around -- whatever I don't give a fuck he's responsible for me being here and also, me being here if you know what I'm saying" (1:55)
Ralph humbles himself by stating his vocabulary is, y'know, basically top tier, maybe a few notches below top tier, if you want to know the truth about it
Ralph Turns On Tucker Carlson
Ralph gets struck down off YouTube by Tucker's copyright team (1:00), Ralph claims his 8 hour "show" where he plays hours of copyrighted music and restreams CNN while grunting occasionally is fair use (1:15), "y'know what fuck Tucker Carlson, I never got a strike from Nick Fuentes." (2:05), Ralph claims the strike is "absolutely ridiculous" despite abusing the same system as much as humanly possible (2:40), Ralph still pretending he doesn't run the SekturVision channel (2:50)
Ralph is now forced to transition the dey got wich while we wuz poor 'n shiiiet claim onto Tucker Carlson because he cannot improvise hollers anymore (0:40), "HE DEFENDED THE IRAQ WAR, HE'S GOT BLOOD ON HIS FUCKING HANDS! HE WAS ONE OF THE MAIN MOTHER FUCKERS WHO PROMOTED THAT WAR AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW MANY APOLOGIES HE GIVES. HE'S STILL A FULL OF FUCKING SHIT, I DON'T CARE THAT HE TOOK HIS LITTLE GAY ASS FUCKING BOW-TIE OFF, FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING *************CKER! GOD MOTHER FUCKING **************UCKER! ARE YEW FUCKING SERIOUS? YEW, BILL CRYSTUHHL, ALL YEW FUCKING COCK SUCKERS GOT BLOOD ON YOUR MOTHER FUCKING HANDS!" (1:00), "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE, HARD TIME DADDY ! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THOSE ARE LIKE, AND YOU NEVER FUCKING WILL YOU COCK SUCKIN' SON OF A BITCH! YEW SUCK MORE COCK THAN MILO YIANNOPOULOS! AND DEN YEW TURN AROUND AND START SINGING A DIFFERENT FUCKING SONG, FUCK YOU, 'TILL THE GOD ****** DAMN MOTHER FUCKING GRAVE!" (1:50), "Yew wanna strike people? Fo-for Fair Use?! Which is was undoubtedly Fair Use by the way, now you gotta bunch of fucking ****** lawyers so I'm pretty sure, y'know there's no point... In challenging that... But yer' a fuckin' fraud!" (2:50), Ralph claims he knows more about political philosophy than Tucker Carlson (5:05), "Yer' a fuckin' snake,
yer' a fucking Ni**er snake, Das what you are... A white ****** snake, to be clear" (5:45), Ralph agrees restreamers should be striked down, even stating that he's done that a few times if you want to know the truth about it, which basically invalidates this entire holler but please remember we're dealing with a dementia patient here (6:05), "Some of my friends died in Iraq because of your bullshit on TV" (15:10), "You oughta be in jail, or in the hayg(?) is where you oughta be... Or in Japan, they, y'know, you would've had enough decency to... at least at minimum retire from public life, at minimum. There's another option, that many over there would take after being so disgraced." (15:25), Ralphs sick cat was forced to flee the scene and hide in her cage (17:30)
Ralph complains about retorters who keep interrupting the guests and asking retarded questions like Tim Pool, which pretty rich coming from someone who turns every "interview" and "BloodSport" into a group therapy session all about heeem because he has literally no one to talk to.
"I'm so worried about my cat I juss can't even hide it..."
"I guess it's funny that I care about... My cats health than I do my own huh huh huh huh" (0:10)
"Good Times Create Weak Men, And Weak Men Create Punched Wives"
In the following clip, Ralph reacts to a Gen Xer giving a boomer WWE RAW SMACKDOWN promo on Ralph's ilk that bitch and moan about how terrible everything is meanwhile refusing to get a job:
"You're part of the generation that were born in the good times, blessed with comfort, convenience, and endless possibilities. And in that comfort, many of you have grown soft."
"dis is such fucking trash, I didn't watch this but I had it bookmarked 'cuz I... actually didn't know... how much this would make me seethe just right away" (0:05)
"You fear boredom, more than starvation"
"Well das not trew!" (2:30)
"When life hands you everything, you start believing you deserve it"
Ralph takes both his inflamed hooves and puts them next to his head, almost as if he wants to put his hands over his ears to stop the pain that is the truth (2:55)
Ralph had an argument with his Uncle, stating that everyone who owes student debt should be absolved and anyone who wasn't smart enough to flee the country and keep your money in your dead moms paypal account need to be paid back somehow (4:15),
"And it's gonna happen, just as sure as I'm sitting here, it's going to happen.*" (4:25), Ralph responds to his Uncle stating Ralph needs to pay back every penny with "Well I'm not." (4:50), "And I did get a lot of stuff... Given to me... By his parents my grandparents and my own parents, das troo... I got most everything I wanted growing up, but...**" (5:15), Ralph brings up that his mother had student loans, but they were smaller so they don't count (6:00)
"Men who spend more time scrolling than sweating. Men who know more playlists than principles. Men who's biggest struggle is their phone battery"
"Dis is absolutely outrageous, I..." (7:50)
"How are you supposed to attract a wife, when you're told to literally
punch a woman in the face?"
Ralph immediately pauses and chuckles to himself (9:15)
*The government is going to abscond one of the few things that makes them illustrious amounts of money solely for homeless bums like Ralph? Keep dreaming piglet.
**Is it finally starting to make sense why Ralph throws tantrums and acts like a toddler?
Ralph claims "a lot of people" can't afford to have children and can barely afford to live* (0:45) Ralph walks back his claims that having children was a good idea (1:05), Ralph admits his Uncle also told him he's a bum loser that needs to do something with his life (2:10)
"Be useful, be strong, be Men, and let history remember you for what you built. Not what you consumed."
"Well da sad fact of the madder izz history is gunna remember almost none of this**" (2:55)
*Definitely not projection btw
**I thought Ralph was a living legend that would live on in history forever?
The next day, Ralph would host an incredibly short debate stream in the evening since he was too busy staring at his cat and reporting every single thing it did to his veterinarian, something
Ralph refused to do for his own daughter.
Ralph states that he broke his rodecaster while pilled out last week. He either spilt piss all over it, or threw it at the steel bars in his cage, he doesn't really remember
Ralph reveals the "suit" he bought and talked about yesterday, it's actually just a jacket, and Ralph is wearing it over a ugly graphic tee shirt that looks like it's from Walmart
Cldo, No!
Ralph refuses to follow his current Veterinarians treatment plan because Ralph does not want to be the one to kill his cat because he wouldn't be able to forgive himself* (0:10), Ralph is going to another Vet (0:25), Ralph reads a message in chat telling him that he's not a Vet and should probably do what the Vet said (1:45), "So... Other mother fuckers went to Vet school as well sir, did you go to Vet school?! Probably not.
Have you read as much about Meloxicam as I had-- have over the last 2-3 days? Probably not! So keep your fucking mouth shut. Actually, I'm gonna go to another Vet and we'll see what they say, and if they say it's fine? Then maybe I'll continue. But don't talk shit to me like that mother fucker, y'know what I've been through the last 2-3 fucking days**? Fuck you." (2:10)
*Ralph of course needs to be able to shift the blame on the Vet so he can then dox them and their entire extended family in a pill-induced rage at a later date.
**Yes, Ralph is in fact having meltdowns off camera and sobbing profusely over a fucking cat he stole from his ex wife.
Ralph pats himself on the back for sitting in a chair quietly for 1 hour (2:25), "If you do believe in-in god, say a prayer for Cleo, I will say that, I'm worried about her." (2:55), "And if you don't, just send good vibes or think positive thoughts about her because she means a lot to me" (3:05), "You guys are a great audience, uhh without you I would be... Destitute or dead, one of the two, and would it really matter? I don't know" (3:50), Ralph is reminded of the Podcast feed he is too retarded and lazy to keep up-to-date "I gotta do that,
I gotta do something else I won't even mention on air,
there's several... fees I need to pay* and it's not that even It's not that I can't pay them It's just i've gotten caught up in, well a lot of it was bull shit uhh but this y'know, with the arc down in Florida** and all that nonsense that never should've happened." (5:00), Ralph makes Cleo meow into the mic and says "you're gonna make me cry" (7:10), One of Ralphs retarded followers made his priest pray for Ralphs cat (7:20)
*Ralph admitting he, the retarded bum that he is, cannot afford to pay child support in the agreed full amount instead of $3 Dollar Installments, but can somehow afford 15 Veterinarian opinions a day + a suit jacket.
**Ralph putting all the blame on being broke on an "arc" that costed almost zero missed shows and not the trip to Memphis and his whore GF that costed him well over $2,750 Dollars in missing shows, uh-mayzin!
Finally, Ralph closes the show with another promo on Candace Owens while a song about raping cats and smelling their farts plays:
"I'm more ghetto than this bitch could ever dream of being! Children out of wedlock, felonies, locked up... I don't even know how many times, fist fights in the fucking street, drunk... everywhere! Fuckin' whores all over the world! I'M MORE GHETTO THAN THIS FUCKING BITCH COULD EVER BE!!!
AHM BLACKER THAN CANDACE OWENS MOTHER FUCKER! GHED UP!!" (0:10), "...If Cleo dies I'm just gonna be..." Ralph shakes his head repeatedly and then wipes his eyes underneath his copegoggles (2:05), Ralph tries to sign off but the cat rape song starts playing again (2:25)
Bonus Pigs:
Ralph laughs
Why is this tooth so gigantic?
Ralph rips off DSP's over re-ack-ack-acktions
"Yeah, Feds payin' for my safe house? Ah wish they'd pay my Child s-"
