Planetside 2 - A loveable, hateable, autistic den of lolcows, drama, and rage.

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AntiSchwuletteAktion

Punk's not dead
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Oct 15, 2018
>What is it?
Planetside 2 is a legendary game, known for setting the record for largest FPS battle in gaming history, and then breaking its own record. Players fight for one of three Empires: the conservative, militaristic Terran Republic (think they're actual commissars and you need to respect their authority), the profiteering, libertarian New Conglomerate (yes they'll teamkill you, and yes they think it's funny), or the technocratic, xeno-religious Vanu Sovereignty (degenerate furries, one and all). Experienced players can also join the robotic, mercenary Nanite Systems Operatives and switch sides between the other three factions. Fights take place on "continents", open-world maps up to 64km^2 covered in facilities which hundreds of players capture in a constant back-and-forth that only ends when one faction wins an alert and the war moves to the next continent.

SmugTR.pngSweatNC.pngVSaliens.png
Which way, Western Man?

>So what's so funny?
The game's lack of rules or restrictions combined with the massive scale and asymmetric class balance has led to it fostering a supremely autistic core audience, where players with thousands of hours present their e-penises to each other in the form of pumping the kill/death ratios of smurf accounts to insane levels and going on absurdly long streaks via the time-honored tradition of Seal Clubbing- using optimal loadouts, playing safe, and slaughtering as many casual players per hour as is mathematically possible. Some others are drawn to leadership roles, commanding squads, platoons, and outfits (Planetside's version of clans or guilds), sometimes with hundreds of players under their leadership. Naturally, these giant egos and player organizations lead to spilled spaghetti, drama, and lots of lots of rage. This is less of a traditional thread, and more of a walk-through of some of the crazy drama and people which have been in the Planetside community over the years. I am a primary source for a lot of this, having spent years playing the game, but I've provided sources wherever possible. I hope you enjoy.


BuzzCutPsycho
Planetside is home to its own very special collection of lolcows, who relish the attention that comes from endlessly starting drama in-game and in the subreddits, discord servers, etc. which surround it. One very special individual is BuzzCutPsycho, a TR leader since the very early days of the game. You might recognize that name, as he was featured in MandaloreGaming's Planetside review, reminiscing on the glory days of the game's launch. There are dozens of recordings of Buzz raging scattered around the internet, as he endlessly started shit with other leaders and raged for hours in-game at his teammates whenever the TR was losing. There are even voice announcer packs you can use based on him.
What you might not know, is that Buzz's antics have caused such outrage that one of his controversies made it all the way to the United States Congress, and received mainstream media attention. In the aftermath of the Charlottesville clusterfuck, Buzz decided to log onto his World of Warcraft character, and pose for a screenshot in a white hood with some suspiciously melanated alt accounts, Tyquivious and Jessejackson. The online outrage machine carried this stunt so far that Congressman Lou Correa (D, CA) attacked Blizzard, accusing them of harbouring evil white supremacist nazi alt-right bigots who are also racist, presenting Buzz's screenshot as evidence. Buzz's clan, The Enclave (both on Planetside and WoW) immediately became tainted in the public eye.
BuzzCutPsycho.jpg
You might have seen the image, but now you know the story. As such, Buzz has become radioactive, mostly backed away from the public eye, and most traces of him have been scrubbed from the internet. Lots of dead links and spilt milk.

PAL3Tigerrr
As of yet, the Tiger King's name has not yet made it to the hall's of congress, but he has a lot to like in a lolcow. He rages relentlessly, has a bizarre accent that even his fellow Aussies love to mock, and possesses gangstalking-tier paranoia. Since the merger of Planetside 2's Australian servers into the Asian playerbase, hundreds of Aussie and Kiwi refuges have arrived on the U.S. West server, to avoid sharing a server with the Ch*nese and K*reans. Among them, our humble fat, autistic, old, dyslexic Aussie cunt arose as the leader of the Space Pigs. At the height of their power, the Pigs were so numerous that NC and VS outfits actually stopped fighting each other just to make sure they lost. Tigerrr was a relentless promoter, using scummy tactics like promising new recruits steam gift cards, all the while ranting and raving in chat, convincing new players that every veteran player they lost to was actually cheating. Space Pigs platoons would advertise to new players "Everyone Welcome", but recruits would immediately be met with toxic bullshit and people being kicked from the platoon left and right.
The Aussie bastard developed a fixation with Recursion, one of the oldest and most selective outfits. They run the Recursion Stat Tracker, a third party app that uses the dev's public API to track player stats, play sound effects, overlay crosshairs on the screen, etc. It's a pretty benign piece of software, developed and run by volunteers, and available to the public. Many Planetside players use it. Despite this, tiger claimed there was a secret second version of the stat tracker available only to Recursion members and their inner circle, which gave them 1337 hacks. The cherry on top? The Devs were in on it, of course. Clearly, Recursion were hacking, and the devs were ok with people using the stat tracker. Stat tracker = hacks, Recursion = not banned, therefore the devs are on team hacker! Left and right, paletiger would claim that Recursion was behind every building and in every shadow. They were all hackers, and they had spies in every platoon. Seriously, he thought Recursion members were sitting in his platoons on alt accounts at all hours of the day, and would interrogate or kick innocent new players on suspicion of espionage.

The funniest thing of all is that he would rarely be seen outside of his MAX suit or tank (old man crutches), which made him an exceptionally slow, massive, and obvious target (just like he is in real life), so it was little surprise his enemys who were better than him found it easy to track him down and kill him. To make things worse, he would often cajole new players in his platoon to follow him around as engineers and repair him, so his braindead-tier skills would be compensated by constant healing. To this day, if you log onto an American server, hop into a full platoon, and immitate his weird ass voice, you'll immediately be joined by a chorus of imitators, "THEY'RE OLL HACKERS, ROIGHT?" "FUKKEN RECURSION!" "COME REPAIR ME MAX"
Overall, despite being toxic and obnoxious, paletiger is more funny than anything else. The sheer stupidity of his rants never fail to make me laugh, and he can be nice when he chooses to be.

GreenJuice
With a briefer time in the spotlight, GJ is still a key player to set up in our story. Yet another autistic leader drawn to TR, "LordGeneralGreenJuice" led a 40k themed outfit called the Auraxis Iron Guard. At the height of his power, he commanded a 40k themed outfit on all three factions, and would pit them against each other like a DM in "Bastion Duels", where each outfit's flying carrier would meet and fight a climactic air battle. His signature style also included filling transport aircraft with rocket launchers and using them as gunships, as well as commanding entire platoons to attack the enemy using only their knives. The problem was, GreenJuice really thought he was a good troll. He wasn't. His second problem was he really hated paletiger. You can only imagine how retarded the arguments they had were. I can best compare GJ's demeanor to Dare, except not straight up evil. Kind of illiterate, baffling, and conspiratorial.

Picard
Our last player is Picard, who's similar to paletiger in a lot of ways, being a fat and retarded Aussie, but worse. Less endearing, not an old man, just middle-aged, and more toxic. For a long time, Picard has led the Renegade 18 outfit. He has scrubbed most of his online presence, due to his controversial nature. Most of what's left are erotic fan fictions (yes, plural) that have been written about him and a stream clip of typical Picard behavior:


Outfit Wars
Now that the stage has been set and the players are all here, we can get to the big crossover event. In 2020, the developers introduced a new frontier to the game. Outfit Wars is a competition between platoons (48 players), all of the same outfit, to score points through territory control on a new asteroid-based battlefield, Desolation. Outfits fought long and hard to qualify for the first series, trained for hours to prepare for their matches and devlop strategies, then battled until three teams were left in the Gold bracket: Dropping Purple Smoke, Space Pigs, and Recursion. That's right, in the final round, Pal3tigerrr and his boys got the chance to face their ancient arch-nemesis, one of the most competitive outfits in existence, THE FUKKEN HACKERS, Recursion. I'll let the video play:
You can see the smile creep over the caster's face as he slowly accepts the reality that a fat old Australian autist and his notoriously shit outfit are going to snatch the gold medal away from the favorites. And that's how it went down. The Pigs emerged victorious, and Pale3tiger will now never shut the fuck up for the rest of eternity about how he won the first outfit wars ever (which is obviously the only one that counts).

But unfortunately, that was only the beginning of Outfit Wars, and as it burned on into a second and third season, something much more controversial came out of it. Pal3tigerrr and the Pigs once again found themselves facing Recursion, but this time, the Tiger King wasn't going to let things go to chance. This time, the NC combatant was R18, headed by Picard, perhaps the only remaining outfit leader as retarded as pal3tiger.
Rather than risk losing to Recursion, the two fat cunts decided to forge a pact, and out-right help each other during the match in order to fix the outcome. It didn't matter whether Pigs or R18 won, all they had to do was ruin it for Recursion, and that's exactly what they did. Really though, what they did was ruin it for everybody. Tensions were already high in the community with bruised egos from Outfit Wars losses and accusations of slimy practices like individual players entering multiple times with different characters on different outfit, and the collusion between tiger and Picard is what shattered the peace and started an open revolt. The developers released a letter telling everyone that further match-fixing would result in bans, and Outfit Wars winded down, shut down by the developers for the forseeable future.


Where Are They Now?
GreenJuice spent most of Outfit Wars on the sidelines, with his account suspended. But he didn't give up. When he came back, he was worse than ever, and spent hours raiding Space Pig platoons, shouting insults, and thinking he was an epic troll. This all culminated in allegations that he said the N word and encouraged others to do so as well, which he admitted to. Allegedly, video exists of this event, but all known public copies have been taken down. With this video evidence, he was banned from the game, and two of his three outfits slowly died without him. He occasionally appeared in game on an alt for a while before being IP banned and purging his online presence.
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After Outfit Wars, pal3tiger continued his rampage on the U.S. West server, until for some reason, he snapped. He decided the only way to rid himself of Recursion was to jump ship. So, he started a fresh account on the U.S. East server, even further away from Australia, and forced his outfit to come with them. Overnight, they were free of pal3 and the entire Space Pigs outfit. Great celebrations ensued. After months, he was eventually banned from the East coast server for deliberate teamkilling en masse, attempted to return to the west coast server, and was banned there, too, before eventually being unbanned on the East Coast, where he continues playing to this day, forging new enemies with every shouting match in command chat.

Now, a year later, Picard has largely abandoned the NC branch of R18, in favor of the TR branch, which has grown to obscene proportions. It seems no matter what happens, TR is destined to have a fat retard in charge. The R18t platoons mindlessly zerg across the map ruining every fight they touch, while Picard remains unchallenged.

A new season of Outfit Wars approaches, this time in a 1v1 format, so no double-teaming is possible. Small-time Planetside youtuber Zealous is lurching towards lolcowdom, so assmad about Outfit Wars that he's claiming his outfit will enter only to sit out the match, thereby wasting the time of all 96 players in the match, and he is encouraging other players to do this en masse as a protest. What is he protesting? The possibility that his outfit will be paired against a much better outfit and get rekt. No, I'm not joking.


Will anyone be able to dethrone Picard from his reign of terror? Will Outfit Wars ruin the game? Will Zealous ruin Outfit Wars? Was this a dead game all along??? Stay tuned to find out. There's years of drama and sperging I've missed out on (never played on EU/Asia servers), and plenty more that would be out of place in the OP, so please feel free to tell your war stories in this thread and dig up all the Planetside server lore you can find.
 
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My rating on OP was entirely predicated on including or not including "BAD BAD BAD", and this one gets a passing grade from me.


It's interesting from a psychological point of view how worked up people get about a game with infinite respawning.
 
God. I was deep into this ages ago, but I've completely forgotten almost everything. I actually fought alongside N7JPicard in-game on Briggs. Back when he was in the Vanu Fringe Division (VFD), I think? And then he split from that and made his own outfit. He was an asshole even then.

There was all this shit and drama and all these names, and I probably had some juicy inside scoops at the time. But it was just so pointless that I immediately forgot most of the social information when I stopped playing.

It would be a really good mine if someone else could do the digging, though. Shame no one chronicled it as it happened. Maybe we can catch it all in real-time when Planetside 3 comes out (hopefully).

Oh, and speaking of Briggs. OP should mention the absolutely retarded situation Briggs (Australian server) languished in for years before SOE mercy killed it. IIRC, it was just like 6-12 hyper-leveled nolifers doing weird ass counter-strike style skirmishes across an utterly dead map. If you went on at off-peak time you'd find like 5 other players on the entire server. It was really creepy and eerie. Honestly kind of cool in it's own way.

After Outfit Wars, pal3tiger continued his rampage on the U.S. West server, until for some reason, he snapped. He decided the only way to rid himself of Recursion was to jump ship. So, he started a fresh account on the U.S. East server, even further away from Australia, and forced his outfit to come with them.
Deliberately choosing to play at like 400ms ping is the real atrocity here.

It's interesting from a psychological point of view how worked up people get about a game with infinite respawning.
If you think about it, the factions themselves are lolcows. It's exactly the same as the normal lolcows who spend all day tweeting against something, or harassing a person, or ranting over an old grievance, and spend years or decades stuck obsessing over something. Except it's worse here, because at least your favourite cow doesn't literally get themselves blown apart thousands of times doing it.

You have to be pretty fucking autistic to fight in a meaningless forever war that nobody can win.

:EDIT:

Oh, and there was all the Spittyfire Catgirl stuff. But perhaps some things are better left forgotten, in the dusts of time....Like nanites in the wind...
 
I never played Planetside 2 much- tried it out once, decided I didn't have time for it and moved on. I did play Planetside 1 for a while (with an actua team that came over from a different game)- and used to sneak around behind enemy lines as an infiltrator dropping traps behind people trying to resupply- but after playing for a few months I got tired of it.
 
I enjoyed this game but it was so hard to fly a gunship, I tried so hard but I would just get destroyed by other gunships.

I would have to play tank and pretend I was a ground gunship.

Sometimes I would exclusively go anti air tank to have revenge on those gunships.
 
God. I was deep into this ages ago, but I've completely forgotten almost everything. I actually fought alongside N7JPicard in-game on Briggs. Back when he was in the Vanu Fringe Division (VFD), I think? And then he split from that and made his own outfit. He was an asshole even then.

(...)

Oh, and speaking of Briggs. OP should mention the absolutely retarded situation Briggs (Australian server) languished in for years before SOE mercy killed it. IIRC, it was just like 6-12 hyper-leveled nolifers doing weird ass counter-strike style skirmishes across an utterly dead map. If you went on at off-peak time you'd find like 5 other players on the entire server. It was really creepy and eerie. Honestly kind of cool in it's own way.
This is true, but what makes it funny is that to this day Picard rages at the developers for shutting down Briggs, and thinks that it could've survived if they hadn't. You know, despite the fact you'd be lucky if there was a single fight happening off peak hours.
 
I enjoyed this game but it was so hard to fly a gunship, I tried so hard but I would just get destroyed by other gunships.

I would have to play tank and pretend I was a ground gunship.

Sometimes I would exclusively go anti air tank to have revenge on those gunships.
Magriders were my go-to vehicle in 2016/2017 or so. Loved getting into really weird spots and farming kills off spawn.

I've recently started playing again and it's still fun, I think. There isn't really another game I know of that scratches that itch of, "We're getting farmed in spawn so I'm going to pull a tank from an adjacent base and find and destroy all the mobile spawn points so we can actually push the enemy out of this base. Okay, that's done, now I'm going to switch to a sniper and pop guys trying to spawn vehicles at their nearby home base, or switch to Light Assault and jetpack up to the roof to cover this capture point from a weird angle."
 
Magriders were my go-to vehicle in 2016/2017 or so. Loved getting into really weird spots and farming kills off spawn.

I've recently started playing again and it's still fun, I think. There isn't really another game I know of that scratches that itch of, "We're getting farmed in spawn so I'm going to pull a tank from an adjacent base and find and destroy all the mobile spawn points so we can actually push the enemy out of this base. Okay, that's done, now I'm going to switch to a sniper and pop guys trying to spawn vehicles at their nearby home base, or switch to Light Assault and jetpack up to the roof to cover this capture point from a weird angle."

I played in a clan once and it's a bit more fun organized.
 
Magriders were my go-to vehicle in 2016/2017 or so. Loved getting into really weird spots and farming kills off spawn.

I've recently started playing again and it's still fun, I think. There isn't really another game I know of that scratches that itch of, "We're getting farmed in spawn so I'm going to pull a tank from an adjacent base and find and destroy all the mobile spawn points so we can actually push the enemy out of this base. Okay, that's done, now I'm going to switch to a sniper and pop guys trying to spawn vehicles at their nearby home base, or switch to Light Assault and jetpack up to the roof to cover this capture point from a weird angle."
Some of the stupid shit you do with a group of internet jerks is what always made the game interesting to me, even if they're more mundane fare in comparison.
"Hey, the other six of you go trial the high-speed homing rocket launcher, I'll get mine, and we'll sit up here in the roof of the lab and shoot down fighters," he said. And so we did, until they got pissed off and started sending heavy aircraft to bomb the fuck out of us.
Or the time some crazy Brit lead four cloaked Sundies packed with Heavy Assaults to ambush a tank column in a canyon before it could make it to the next base.
There's something about those fleeting moments of gleeful insanity that make the game stand out, I think.
 
I tried to get back into it but it's harder than ever. There aren't really any mid-tier players anymore, just a bunch of new ones who get slaughtered by the small cabal of day-one veterans who still play. Never a good time when you can barely leave your base without getting threetapped across the map by a Vanu LMG user named "catgirl milker boobs kawaii :3 <3" or some stupid shit with a 10 K/D.
 
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Sorry for the necro, this is the only place I can scream into the void on the internet that isn't a gay hugbox.

Anyway the game is in a depressingly fucked state. It's been rocky throughout its lifespan but I stuck with it up until they added O-🤢 Osh-🤢 Oshur 🤮 causing the player count to drop from about ~1,400 to around 700 and dropping. Then they sold the game to some random shell company for the cheap as fuck price of 5.5 mil.

New developers so maybe they'll start updating the game again, I thought to myself. Then I saw this shit:
nigger what is this.PNG
New tank? New guns? New anything else? Nah fuck you go fish instead.

And what the fuck is this
nigger2.PNG
This game is fucked. It was waist deep in the grave for years and now I'd say its neck deep in the grave at this point. Only arguably good thing to come from this is the server merges.
 
I will have to play again when the server merges are done, but I'm expecting it will be the last gasp for this game. The game's development has been farmed out to a small team of overworked Serbians that are working on at least two other projects.

I think the fishing thing was an April fools event that got left on the cutting room floor that they're now shipping as an actual update. The previous devs made an April fool's newsletter featuring the fishing gameplay and even put a fishing hat into the game, but they didn't actually release the fishing mechanic.

I love the idea of assault facilities, and I've been advocating for years for a change to facility capture that would give attackers a foothold with a hard spawn, but I have no idea what the fuck is going on with the scorpion mech. That is completely out of left field. I'm not expecting this dev team will be able to pull it off well. The walking animations are going to look like shit
 
Sad that the last good update was like 2 years ago. I hope some people steal the weapon ideas from this game, because I really liked some like MG-C1 Kindred.
 
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Anyone try the servers after they merged? Is it worth hopping back into or does it still feel dead?
 
Anyone try the servers after they merged? Is it worth hopping back into or does it still feel dead?
Last I checked it wasnt doing so hot. I was wondering why I was having trouble finding more then one server, guess that explains it.

I really enjoyed when they had the Macross Flying Carriers put in. Dam shame it's on deaths door.
 
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