POLICE ISSUE A STATEMENT

[Gimmick Account]

This entire debacle has been very informative re: incest. I feel like it's one of those crimes that are very hard to prove happened since the participants are usually willing and/or vegetables, and so easy to cover up or deny. The fact that it's getting national attention from major media outlets and the police investigation is moving along at a brisk pace is so interesting to see in real-time. It just goes to show one partner has to be retarded and the other have dementia in order to get caught lol.

I feel like Chris is a pretty unique case so you should probably keep a completely open mind and expect a different outcome when you fuck your mother

 

[MuuMuu Bunnylips]

so, he is in jail, or...?

Read through the topic, you trashbag of used condoms.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

he told the cops he was a goddess, they're going to believe him.

they're going be, like: "Woah, you mean you're a goddess?"

and Chris is going to be, like: "Yeah..."

then the cops are going to be, like: "Let him go. We don't want another George Flyodd situation on our hands. DUDE"

 

[Henry Wyatt]

Can we please just take a moment and picture what the court case will be like?

View attachment 2404044

Your honor, the merge is happening any second now, are you really willing to get on sonichus bad side?

 

[RyujiHirasaka]

It will be a niggo in a pickle suit with a delicious wooden badge

The man in the pickle suit will be his lawyer and save him

 

[Easterling]

It will be a niggo in a pickle suit with a delicious wooden badge

heres me hoping it would be a lady in a purple dress with devil horns

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

This is an ongoing investigation with additional charges pending. Anyone with information is urged to contact Investigator Jason Tooley with the Greene County Sheriff’s Office at (434)531-0866.

Poor Investigator Tooley

 

[mario if smoke weed]

39 years of autism erased in 3 days.

That's life. Anything held sacred can be removed with a snap of the fingers.

 

[Angry Shoes]

You could have just replied to the thread abut that wouldn't give you enough good-boy points and attention.

 

[Melkor]

Wonder how many weens have called the department to just scream JULAAAY into the phone so far.

 

[Poops]

They can deny bail if they believe he has reason to escape upon posting. If Chris did post bail, I would 100% guarantee he would try to make an attempt to drive as far as possible to escape, because that's just how he is.

Also because the charges vary in the nature of crimes, I'm sure it would only be loosely connected in the determination of Chris's punishment. For example, if you had repeat assault offenses and you commit assault again, you're more likely to be put away for longer. Crimes are relatively unrelated in this case.

 

[Exceptionally Exceptional]

Can we please just take a moment and picture what the court case will be like?

View attachment 2404044

"Would your client like to plead insanity?"
"Your Honor, I would like to plead insanity for having taken this goddamn case."

 

[Everything Beagle]

This entire debacle has been very informative re: incest. I feel like it's one of those crimes that are very hard to prove happened since the participants are usually willing and/or vegetables, and so easy to cover up or deny.

Eh, lots of non-con incest involving kids, disabled people etc.

 

[Wigs4Sale]

What are the chances the Chris Prison Saga will be greater or equal to Shawshank Redemption.

 

[4ChanPartyVan]

Wonder how many weens have called the department to just scream JULAAAY into the phone so far.

All of those weens need to be shot to death. (In minecraft)

 

[nertz]

I wonder if Law and Order: SVU will base an episode on this shit. Maybe it's too horrifying even for them.

Sad to say but it's still not as weird as that one X-Files episode.

Yet.

 

[Dipodomys]

Its rare that you watch a degenerates life go from innocent childhood to endgame monster, usually you just see the disgusting end result with little knowledge to how they got to that point.

Chris has always been a cautionary tale. This is how mumbling doomsday hobos are born.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

Did you even read the police report? They're using he/him pronouns. Plus he raped his mother, not shop

you don't understand tranny priviledge. He's gonna get sentenced 8 years, but gonna get out in 2.

 

[winterfag]

View attachment 2403613

Interesting that it claims this when it refers to Chris by "he" in the article. What, were the hate speech comments just JULAYYYYYY messages?

 

[Clownery]

I feel really sorry for the Investigator, that fucking phone will ring nonstop for a couple of days.

Poor Investigator Tooley

Dude is gonna need a raise and one year of therapy for every JULLLAAAYY he gets.