POLICE ISSUE A STATEMENT

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StraightShooter2 said:
So now that I recall - CWCki mentioned that Chris might lose his tugboat if he's convicted of a felony. When he gets out of jail, I don't see anything in the future for him other than homelessness. And that makes me wonder if he'll escalate his behavior further - such as abusing a child the next time he "feels horney".

For that matter, I do recall creep stuff from way back as well - such as when Michael Snyder called the police because Chris Chan was allegedly taking photos of his young daughter.
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I mean it's too early to assume what Chris will do out of Prison. I feel personally that Prison is going to change Chris hard since he will be in reality since there are no weens around and no one to spoil him. It will also be years so it's unknown what will happen.
 
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Pekora said:
Imagine if the dimensional merge actually happens and Chris was right all along. (:_(
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Maybe there is a reason why he's the most documented human on the planet. Somehow by reaching full degenercy hes reached his full power level and actually brings about the dimension merge, I imagine it will happen the moment his autistic brain finally comprehends how fucked he is and that he will probably spend most of the rest of his life in jail.
 
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Blood Bath & Beyond said:
Why exactly is executing literal retards a fucked up thing to do? Retards are a massive drain on the resources of society who will give absolutely nothing back. They are walking, talking, shitting, drooling money pits who are not just a burden on their families but the entirety of society. If they are docile and don't hurt anyone, sure let them live, but if they commit atrocious crimes I personally do not give one single fuck if they have the intelligence of a toddler or not, they should face the consequences. I can't think of a single group of people less likely to be able to be rehabilitated.
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The government is in no position to decide whether or not someone should enjoy their most fundamental right to life. Stop endorsing tyranny.
 
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PUT IN WORK FOR YOUR RACE CHRIS
 
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Ascension said:
What level of rehabilitation even happens in jail?
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Some of his delusions and fantasies might get shattered enough to offer some short term improvement.

No internet and lack of an audience might do him good, but if he is in jail for the long haul I see him exploiting the system to his benefit.

I pity the poor inmates that are stuck with him in religious/therapy groups:

Group therapist: "Yes uh, "Christine" is it? would you like to share something?"
Chris: "Yes, hello, my name is Christine Weston Chandler, y'all might know me from my comic book Sonichu and my work in merging realities"
Inmates: *Desire to shiv intensifies*

You just KNOW that whatever the other inmates talk about Chris will immediately dismiss and make it all about him. One inmate talks about the misery of not being with his family? Chris will talk about his imaginary family. An inmate talks about how his incarceration has left him questioning the insidiousness of institutional dehumanization? Chris will talk about how not being able to go to McDonalds is much worse.
 
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Holy fucking shit. It would have to be this way. It always was going to be this way, but I never really expected this. JFC
 
Considering the price of chris chan stuff on ebay I can imagine everyone in the prison sucking up to him getting him to produce shitty drawings. If you serve time with the legendary CPU GODDESS OF THE MERGE and trade your tray for some sonichu prison art you can sell it when you get out.

I don't think it will take them very long to put 2 and 2 together. All they need to do is keep him sperging so he can never leave and the lifers will protect him as long as he keeps making sonichus for them.
 
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Epic Fedora Man said:
More realistic future: there lives a weird tall creature in the woods of Virginia that wanders around and kidnaps elderly people.
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You're meant to collect eight Sonichu pages to defeat the curse, but he only drew two before getting lazy and giving up.
 
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Pekora said:
Imagine if the dimensional merge actually happens and Chris was right all along. (:_(
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The dimensional merge happens, but in one final twist of the knife, all of Chris's favorite characters are all bullies and join the evil trolls to laugh at his pathetic existence. Even in the realm of imagination, Chris is a joke.
 
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