Poll: Where is Phil?

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What's been happening since Phil's "surgery day?"

  • He had the surgery; it was a success and he's now recovering

    Votes: 3 1.5%

  • He had the surgery, but it was unsuccessful and he's currently dying of an infection

    Votes: 17 8.7%

  • He didn't have the surgery, and is currently sleeping under a bridge somewhere

    Votes: 164 84.1%

  • He's attempted suicide for the millionth time

    Votes: 11 5.6%
  • Total voters
    195
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Hopefully getting raped and murdered in prison :alog:.
Somebody had to say it.
 
Part of me speculates that the Road Sign countdown was actually a countdown to his phone losing service (insufficient funds in his account) and until he gets it back he'll just pretend he's in recovery.
 
Waddling to Sacramento via tardpass and other things he gets for free. Probably hiding due to salt from no one caring in the slightest about his desperate clawings for attention.
 
What if we went down to Mexico for the surgery because no questions asked and who better to trust than his own people? Now, having recovered, is stuck there as the boarder guard refuses to let him in and no trucks will allow him to hide in them.
 
Mr Pizza said:
What if we went down to Mexico for the surgery because no questions asked and who better to trust than his own people? Now, having recovered, is stuck there as the boarder guard refuses to let him in and no trucks will allow him to hide in them.
Click to expand...

And no donkey show in Tijuana will hire him :(
 
If Phil did have the operation (which we all know didn't happen), then he'd be back on his phone bragging about it (even if he was bedridden) and probably taking pictures for all the world to see.
 
He's laying low until everyone forgets about him.

His asspatters might, but we won't.
 
He's using the quiet period to relocate to a new area full exploitable people. I think it's going to be San Diego.
 
Finding someone new to leech off of while his online profile is slightly less visible.
 
He didn't have the surgery, but is staying off Facebook to make his followers think he did have the surgery and is recovering. That or another hobo stole his phone.
 
Okay, I think I got it this time. See, Dr. Sam Beckett has leaped into Phil's body and with the help of his friend Al, escaped the hospital just in time. He now seeks to make amends and repair his relationship with his family while finding a stable job. Dr. Beckett is currently confused as to why he hasn't leaped, little does he know Rika skulks around every corner with a dirty scoundrel he found under a bridge, waiting for the right moment to finish the job!

At least that's what my DeviantArt ADF fan fiction comic would be of . He's probably just sleeping in a dumpster somewhere.
 
I've received field intel that the tango was indeed shot dead in hospital.

No. He didn't go to the hospital for "bottom surgery"; he was abusing the ER yet again for having cheese-induced diarrhea. Unfortunate for him, there was a serious car crash and the staff was busy saving lives. Phil was told to wait, joining an increasingly large crowd of patients. Waiting was never easy for Phil; for half an hour he was frantically bouncing, squeaking and generally making himself a nuisance. Before long, he acted out, accusing the hospital for oppressing this latex transwoman of color survivor of rape. And he cursed the accident victims for the temerity of driving cars, and wished them all a quick and painful death. He gave the staff his "ultimatum": if he were not served in five minutes, they'd regret it.

And the way Phil made them regret it? He let out a brown liquid load on the chair, squishing and twisting his fat ass while wearing this retarded walrus smile of his, and proceeded to do it on every of the few remaining chairs. Everyone was simply shocked and didn't know what to do. Eventually a big hunky latino man stood up, pulled out a gun, and saying "You disgusting white hippo! DIE!" shot Phil at point blank.

And everyone in the ER cheered. Everyone -- patients, doctors, nurses, janitors, police officers, other staff -- cheered. As God would have it, everyone in the ER was CIS. And they all cheered.

The coroner put down in his report, cause of death: Fuckwitz Syndrome.
 
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