Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

[Retired Junta Member]

. Condoned/tolerated 'cheating' or polygamy (the two main versions of what we currently call 'polyamory') have always existed and have always revolved around the same thing: power games between spouses.

Yes and no. Open marriages have been a thing since forever but it was usually a strictly private business between spouses and the general public was more aware of the associated risks (people aren’t jealous until they are and react accordingly).

Modern polygamy is a strictly public business between the “partners” and the surrounding community. And it’s almost never the emotional aspect that is made public, but the erotic one.

There’s an added political emphasis that cannot be ignored.

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

I think it's been said here before, but I'll reiterate that swinging and poly are really separate things.

still gonna fuck up your kids either way when it comes out
i guess swinging is easier to hide from them though

There's a big difference between swinging and polyamory in my opinion. In my experience, swingers tend to be fairly ordinary couples who simply like to spice up their sex lives with the occasional threesome or orgy. As long as both partners are into it, I've never been under the impression that it had any negative impact on their relationship or home life, since for them, it was purely about enjoying the sexual experience in the moment.

What makes polyamory different is that it alters the relationship dynamic entirely, and as a consequence, potentially invites all manner of dysfunction into the lives of everyone involved.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

What makes polyamory different is that it alters the relationship dynamic entirely, and as a consequence, potentially invites all manner of dysfunction into the lives of everyone involved.

I've had friends who in their late teens or early adulthood found out about their parents "arrangements", like finding out they had each seen other people or that one had looked the other way and allowed the other to cheat. It fucked them up every time, is like a part of their sense of structure and trust dying and even affected their own personal relationships, despite being around 18 and these being parents who actually tried to keep their selfish coomerism in secret as everyone in that sort of arrangements should do.

These poly couples instead go out of their way to involve their children, their relatives, their friends, is sickening, extremely selfish and self centered to do that only to satisfy your groin. I actually believe exhibitionism and humilliating your loved ones is part of it, same with lots of agps "coming outs" so i have nothing but contempt for parents who do this. At least some hedonists are self aware and do have the courtesy of choosing not to have children instead of wanting to mix both lifestyles and clapping to themselves for being brave and stunning.

 

[Medicinal Molduga]

I've had friends who in their late teens or early adulthood found out about their parents "arrangements", like finding out they had each seen other people or that one had looked the other way and allowed the other to cheat. It fucked them up every time, is like a part of their sense of structure and trust dying and even affected their own personal relationships, despite being around 18 and these being parents who actually tried to keep their selfish coomerism in secret as everyone in that sort of arrangements should do.

These poly couples instead go out of their way to involve their children, their relatives, their friends, is sickening, extremely selfish and self centered to do that only to satisfy your groin. I actually believe exhibitionism and humilliating your loved ones is part of it, same with lots of agps "coming outs" so i have nothing but contempt for parents who do this. At least some hedonists are self aware and do have the courtesy of choosing not to have children instead of wanting to mix both lifestyles and clapping to themselves for being brave and stunning.

Hope this isn't too much of a power-level, but relevant story:

Years ago I used to hang in a friendship group that overlapped with some polyamorous groups, which means I attended some 'normal' (i.e. not for hooking up) parties that some polyamorous people attended too. They usually have extensive social lives because they are constantly on the lookout for new victims people to recruit into their insane ways.

Once, at one of these normie gatherings there was this divorced, polyamorous forty-something guy who brought along one of his girlfriends and also his teen daughter. She was the only child in attendance and definitely old enough to stay home by herself, which to me screams he brought her along because it was his weekend with her and knew he shouldn't leave her at home. Or maybe he wanted to play the 'cool dad' with her . He then proceeded to spend the whole party flirting and taking uncomfortably close up portraits of women much younger than himself and his own girlfriend, and also ignoring his own daughter (to whom people were very nice because everyone felt sorry for her). It was such an obviously inappropriate situation that people talked about it for a long time afterwards.

I remember the daughter seemed so serious and detached, acting older than her age and like everything was normal and cool, obviously coping with her weird life as best she could. She must have already been so, so screwed up.

Also, during the party the girlfriend was unnaturally cheery and acting all 'everything is fine' when it obviously was not. She was also terminally on Twitter, clearly very insecure, and ended up breaking up with this guy some months later.

Anyway. There are other cases I know in which polyamorous people go to normie parties to creepily try and get laid while their spouse stays back home with the kids, which to me is also fucked up, but at least they seemingly keep things separate. Involving your children directly in your shenaningans is the worst of decisions and will destroy any healthy boundaries the children might have, which will have very damaging and lasting consequences for them. Not that these people would know, having zero boundaries and self-respect themselves.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Hope this isn't too much of a power-level, but relevant story:

Years ago I used to hang in a friendship group that overlapped with some polyamorous groups, which means I attended some 'normal' (i.e. not for hooking up) parties that some polyamorous people attended too. They usually have extensive social lives because they are constantly on the lookout for new victims people to recruit into their insane ways.

Once, at one of these normie gatherings there was this divorced, polyamorous forty-something guy who brought along one of his girlfriends and also his teen daughter. She was the only child in attendance and definitely old enough to stay home by herself, which to me screams he brought her along because it was his weekend with her and knew he shouldn't leave her at home. Or maybe he wanted to play the 'cool dad' with her . He then proceeded to spend the whole party flirting and taking uncomfortably close up portraits of women much younger than himself and his own girlfriend, and also ignoring his own daughter (to whom people were very nice because everyone felt sorry for her). It was such an obviously inappropriate situation that people talked about it for a long time afterwards.

I remember the daughter seemed so serious and detached, acting older than her age and like everything was normal and cool, obviously coping with her weird life as best she could. She must have already been so, so screwed up.

Also, during the party the girlfriend was unnaturally cheery and acting all 'everything is fine' when it obviously was not. She was also terminally on Twitter, clearly very insecure, and ended up breaking up with this guy some months later.

Anyway. There are other cases I know in which polyamorous people go to normie parties to creepily try and get laid while their spouse stays back home with the kids, which to me is also fucked up, but at least they seemingly keep things separate. Involving your children directly in your shenaningans is the worst of decisions and will destroy any healthy boundaries the children might have, which will have very damaging and lasting consequences for them. Not that these people would know, having zero boundaries and self-respect themselves.

Wonder how that girl's relationships ended up looking as as an adult, that would affect anyone.
Hippies did stuff like that to a bunch of the kids they raised thinking it was the coolest thing and instead of indigo children it just created a bunch of fuck ups.

 

[mario if smoke weed]

Not to sound dramatic but seeing this huge influx of polyamory media really worries me. I was hanging out with my younger cousin and she was watching tiktok, and one of the clips she watched had 4 teenagers boasting about their polyamory relationship. The clip made it seem like it was totally normal, and it had over 100K+ hearts and so many comments gushing about how adorable it was. These teenagers couldn't have been older than 15 either.

I don't want to know what the ramifications will be of kids being taught this shit from a young age.

Get your cousin off of TikTok; it's a poorly-designed pool of filth. Even if you aren't close with them you'd do them a big service.

About the pro-polyamory mindset: I'd argue the young people who approve of this believe more people means more love and fewer restrictions and run with that idea. They don't understand why polyamory hasn't been a part of regular society and monogamy has. They don't understand the potential for people to get left out in a polygamy, the potential for jealousy and possessiveness, how awkward shit gets when complications arise in the relationship, and so forth. The way young people romanticize polyamory makes it hard for anyone to really say anything without getting called hateful and close-minded, similar to transgenderism and nonbinary genders.

Maybe it'll die off once more people get into polyamorous relationships and realize that it's far from simple like these TikToks make it out to be. Sadly it'd mean a bunch of dumb teens would get heartbroken but you have to crack some eggs to make a sensible omelet.

You could stop at five or six stores, or just one.

 

[Brain Problems]

Get your cousin off of TikTok; it's a poorly-designed pool of filth. Even if you aren't close with them you'd do them a big service.

About the pro-polyamory mindset: I'd argue the young people who approve of this believe more people means more love and fewer restrictions and run with that idea. They don't understand why polyamory hasn't been a part of regular society and monogamy has. They don't understand the potential for people to get left out in a polygamy, the potential for jealousy and possessiveness, how awkward shit gets when complications arise in the relationship, and so forth. The way young people romanticize polyamory makes it hard for anyone to really say anything without getting called hateful and close-minded, similar to transgenderism and nonbinary genders.

Maybe it'll die off once more people get into polyamorous relationships and realize that it's far from simple like these TikToks make it out to be. Sadly it'd mean a bunch of dumb teens would get heartbroken but you have to crack some eggs to make a sensible omelet.

You could stop at five or six stores, or just one.

The beauty of polyfaggery is that generally speaking it's a self-solving problem since I don't know a single example that isn't a rapdily teetering house of cards built on self-loathing, resentment, and insecurity. The bigger issues are the long-term damage it does on its way to dissolving, or on a more direct level, me having to hear my ugly married friends openly discussing the other ugly people they're fucking on the side.

I genuinely feel terrible for any children growing up in a house like this where the parents are laying their cards on the table that getting laid always trumps raising a safe and healthy family... until the jealousy overflows and one partner tries to put the genie back in the lamp.

 

[Country Matters]

I genuinely feel terrible for any children growing up in a house like this where the parents are laying their cards on the table that getting laid always trumps raising a safe and healthy family... until the jealousy overflows and one partner tries to put the genie back in the lamp.

really hoping (perhaps naively) that children who grow up with this shit are able to speak about it without getting drowned out by the woke crowd (at least online, i genuinely cant imagine them finding many people who wouldnt find it fucked up irl bc most of the hardcore poly cultists are terminally online dangerhairs)

i remember that one reddit thread that was like "my parents want me to participate in a documentary/study about how poly doenst hurt kids except it damaged me deeply" that was absolutely heartbreaking to read and i believe most of the comments were on his side. i genuinely cant imagine prioritizing getting some ugly strange over your own children, fucking unreal

 

[NoReturn]

"Help, reddit! I'm being pursued by the furies!"

 

[ChadBrazilian]

"Help, reddit! I'm being pursued by the furies!"
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This will end up badly.
Like... why even open up in the first place? You are in a happy marriage. You don't need to pursue every fantasy that you have in your head. I feel swinging for a threesome (still degenerate) would be a better route than this shit. This lifestyle only works if one of the sides has a hardcore cuck fetish.

 

[Coffee Druid]

This will end up badly.
Like... why even open up in the first place? You are in a happy marriage. You don't need to pursue every fantasy that you have in your head. I feel swinging for a threesome (still degenerate) would be a better route than this shit. This lifestyle only works if one of the sides has a hardcore cuck fetish.

Hard agree. Firstly, if you keep having a "fear in the back of your head", maybe there's a valid reason and you should listen to your gut. I'm sure their partner has some issues going on and it's not a completely happy and committed relationship. Maybe the poly talk is one sided and they're being pushed into it despite their fears.

If you're truly in a long term, happy, COMMITTED relationship, then there is literally no reason for poly to be put on the table.

 

[Medicinal Molduga]

"Our relationship has never been stronger" - my dude, you're fucking a woman you have been eyeing for 10 years, your relationship is doomed.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

"Help, reddit! I'm being pursued by the furies!"
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yes my man, 44 years of cultural norms programmed into your brain, that's what your conscience is. It must be, you can't possibly be foreseeing the ruin of your monogamous relationship by introducing cheating.

 

[Medicinal Molduga]

Small dump, hope the format is okay, still a newbie:

1. Genderspecial teen is told by her mum that she's 'poly' because didn't want to stay committed to one high-school boyfriend:

Spoiler

'Am I too young to be poly', best get it out of the way when you're very young in fact, so you learn faster that it's not going to work.

Archive https://archive.md/LCENd

2. Man is so heartbroken his wife is with someone else he's having depressive episodes, gaslights himself and can't break free of the cult:

Spoiler

Archive https://archive.md/E2cbB

3. Man realizes this was a bad idea because wife is getting all the action. Very probably a troll, but the outraged responses are hilarious:

Spoiler

Some of the answers:









Apparently monogamy is a happy ending now so they wish it unto the girlfriend? I don't understand these people, I thought poly was the epitome of happiness.

Archive https://archive.md/T8UY1

4. Woman's ego is hurt by her therapist seeing right through the bullshit:

Spoiler

Therapists had a judgmental reaction to polyamory : polyamory

archived 30 Sep 2021 17:39:19 UTC

archive.md

Archive https://archive.md/nbb1I

5. Girlfriend of man who can't keep it in his pants sets down some very reasonable rules, he complains to Reddit because what are boundaries?:

Spoiler

To be fair most of the responses are along the lines of 'she doesn't want this, don't do it', but some creep suggested he push ahead anyway because she might get used to it and got 86 upvotes:



Archive

https://archive.is/yjYBT

6. Lesbians' "pretty phenomenal relationship" threatened because one of them wants to move in her ten years younger girlfriend so the three of them can raise kids together:

Spoiler

She's a genderspecial (and I would bet my right hand the 'girlfriend' is a transbian, but no proof ofc):



Archive https://archive.is/Ub6nm

 

[Unhindered Clown]

For all intents and purposes I'm against polgyamy but at the end of the day I can't tell people how to live their adult lives so as long as nobody's getting hurt, big deal. Or so I thought before reading through this thread. Moral of the story is to GTFO the second a partner brings up poly shit out of the fucking blue. It's simply too late to do anything about it; the only way someone knows they're polyamourous would have to be from either falling in love with someone else (but these reddit posts make it seem more like lust than love) OR considering pursuing a relationship with someone else, but hold back on it because they remembered they're in a monogamous setup. It's sad so many people have to learn the hard way that breaking up with the poly-er from the start would have hurt them less.

Regardless of how you put it, it requires some level of emotional cheating at the very least to "discover" you're "poly". That's fucked. The cultspeak and bullshit philosophy is how they dress it up so it doesn't sound as immoral as it is to a normal person. To top it all off, sometimes they'll tell their non-poly friends who are in normal relationships about their little "moral dilemma". Leave us boring monogamists out of your whore larping. Don't drag us into it to be witnesses while leaving your SO to find out after everybody else.

 

[NoReturn]

Small dump, hope the format is okay, still a newbie:

1. Genderspecial teen is told by her mum that she's 'poly' because didn't want to stay committed to one high-school boyfriend:

Spoiler

View attachment 2583366

'Am I too young to be poly', best get it out of the way when you're very young in fact, so you learn faster that it's not going to work.

Archive https://archive.md/LCENd

2. Man is so heartbroken his wife is with someone else he's having depressive episodes, gaslights himself and can't break free of the cult:

Spoiler

View attachment 2583382

Archive https://archive.md/E2cbB

3. Man realizes this was a bad idea because wife is getting all the action. Very probably a troll, but the outraged responses are hilarious:

Spoiler

View attachment 2583385

Some of the answers:

View attachment 2583388


View attachment 2583525


View attachment 2583393

Apparently monogamy is a happy ending now so they wish it unto the girlfriend? I don't understand these people, I thought poly was the epitome of happiness.

Archive https://archive.md/T8UY1

4. Woman's ego is hurt by her therapist seeing right through the bullshit:

Spoiler

View attachment 2583533

Therapists had a judgmental reaction to polyamory : polyamory

archived 30 Sep 2021 17:39:19 UTC

archive.md

Archive https://archive.md/nbb1I

5. Girlfriend of man who can't keep it in his pants sets down some very reasonable rules, he complains to Reddit because what are boundaries?:

Spoiler

View attachment 2583548

To be fair most of the responses are along the lines of 'she doesn't want this, don't do it', but some creep suggested he push ahead anyway because she might get used to it and got 86 upvotes:

View attachment 2583575

Archive

https://archive.md/yjYBT

6. Lesbians' "pretty phenomenal relationship" threatened because one of them wants to move in her ten years younger girlfriend so the three of them can raise kids together:

Spoiler

View attachment 2583585
View attachment 2583590

She's a genderspecial (and I would bet my right hand the 'girlfriend' is a transbian, but no proof ofc):

View attachment 2583593

Archive https://archive.md/Ub6nm

Exceptional finds, newbie. Well done.

 

[hash-slinging slasher]

These redditors were harsher on the poly shit than kiwis are lol.

 

[NoReturn]

Via A&N

Married couple become throuple after wife falls in love with her gym buddy​

Married couple become throuple after wife falls in love with her gym buddy

The trio are planning to have kids when they feel society is more tolerant of non-monogamy

metro.co.uk

Archive

View attachment 2590284

It's hard to see in that photo, but those are tats.

Translation:

Oh my f**** god. Yesterday the first children and adults held our children's book @muckdiwupp in their hands. Yesterday on 21.09.2021 our book @muckdiwupp was published with already 1500 Vorbesteller:innen. Really crazy. If you had told me 2 years ago that I would publish a children's book, I would have said: Boahhhh what a cool idea... but I?! And now it's really the truth! Yesterday my inbox was flooded with positive and touching feedback including videos and voice notes from educators, parents, children and grandparents. Children and young people have always been very close to my heart. I would always give everything for children and their protection. This radiance of some little ones, who even wanted to take the book to bed with them and said: Look, I am also different but this is great! Or look daddy they all dare to do what they want... This empowerment of small and big people means a lot to me. Thank you to this wonderful community. Thank you for every book you order. Thank you to every educator, teacher, pedagogue who has been inspired by my content over the past months to incorporate queer education and mental health into their lessons! Thank you for every feedback and every heart that Muckelino may conquer! PS: Would you like one of the next 1500 signed books to come to you or would you like to give one as a gift? You can order on the homepage link in bio. (All payment methods possible - just click on the link) Do you already have a book? Then comment with your favorite emoji

 

[EnemyStand]

Via A&N

It's hard to see in that photo, but those are tats.
View attachment 2590473
View attachment 2590475
Translation:

"Look daddy, they all dare to do what they want..."

Well, I suppose no further explanation was needex.

 

[Medicinal Molduga]

Via A&N

It's hard to see in that photo, but those are tats.
View attachment 2590473
View attachment 2590475
Translation:

It's crazy that these stories are always told like nothing is wrong and everyone is super balanced and doing great. If one of them is getting twice the action and the attention, it's not a balanced situation and will eventually blow up in some way or another. I feel seriously sorry for both the lesbian and the guy in this situation who value themselves so little they are willing to go along with this, but it's obvious that as soon as either of them finds something better, they are out. Or else, as soon as one of them asks for a bit more attention, the main girl will pick her favourite and the other one will be left out in the cold.

An example just from today of a 'throuple' situation that indeed blew up: Straight couple live together, dude gets a new girlfriend who moves in because Covid, original girlfriend gets eventually tired of situation in lockdown and asks for space, guy's solution is to move out with new girlfriend. Original girlfriend realizes she's now the side-piece and is rightfully angry, but of course keeps blaming herself.

(Archive https://archive.md/A8xRL)

My bet is, this scenario repeats itself in almost all 'throuple' cases, or at least the threat of it occurring is always lingering in the background and that threat is what makes everyone behave like shit is just great.

Another similar case which might have been already posted, but that I haven't seen: Conor and Brittany, who have a polyamory advice channel on Youtube, and who in the past year have undergone some drama of their own. They also own a sex-toy online shop and sell coaching courses and shit like that, so they are trapped in maintaining some semblance of a relationship for the sake of their livelihood.

Scenario: Brittany is an extremely selfish bisexual woman with a husband (Conor) and a baby boy (whom OF COURSE they are raising to be 'non-binary', although I think they're finally calling him a boy now). Brittany got a lesbian girlfriend sometime in 2020, Bridgette, and moved her in, and soon Conor got tired of feeling hurt and sidelined, and moved out (but to this day denies that the problem was polyamory and endlessly speaks about 'growth' and shit on insta). He missed his child terribly so he got a house nearby. They still today give out relationship advice on their channel:

Spoiler: Conor and Brittany

1. The YT channel:


Archive : https://archive.md/CHmBS


2. The instagram around which their business revolves, still live, they still pretend they are in a relationship: @conorandbrittany

Instagram archive via pickuki: https://archive.md/6hyQ5





3. Brittany's new girlfriend (video from 2020): https://archive.md/oliAk

Her name is Bridgette and her insta is @bridgettewolleat (insta archive https://archive.md/cJb7d)

4. Conor then was sad on his personal instagram @conor.love (archive https://archive.md/fUH5u):




Delusion:



Blaming himself always:



5. Everyone pretending shit was fine one year ago:




6. Conor finally moves out and gets another house (5 november 2020):

Link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAmQvE85bEY
Archived video:

7. Bridgette posting pictures of her and Brittany with the kid this past month, so I assume they still live together (photos of Bridgette haven't been shown on main account for ages, and neither have we seen any more pictures of the 'metamours' together):

TLDR; the amount of drama hidden behind those fake smiles and cheerful social media posts is never-ending.