Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

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Carbiter said:
Do poly people go to therapy a lot? Is it just the tony soprano therapy where they go to therapy for 8 years or more with no noticeable change, or are they going once and not listening to advice?
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they go for 8 years and don't listen to advice
alternatively they listen to advice but the 'advice' just consists of the therapist telling them on repeat that they are valid and stunning and brave and should read more polyamory literature
 
Brain Problems said:
they go for 8 years and don't listen to advice
alternatively they listen to advice but the 'advice' just consists of the therapist telling them on repeat that they are valid and stunning and brave and should read more polyamory literature
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That makes sense. Although I cannot fathom why a therapist would tell someone to go into polyamory, in the case of the second option. Like I actually get that a therapist would promote trans stuff because they get threatened into it or they are ideologically compromised, but what is the benefit of polyamory? More drama? More sex pests?
 
Carbiter said:
That makes sense. Although I cannot fathom why a therapist would tell someone to go into polyamory, in the case of the second option. Like I actually get that a therapist would promote trans stuff because they get threatened into it or they are ideologically compromised, but what is the benefit of polyamory? More drama? More sex pests?
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Because therapists are all insane gender special activists.
 
Carbiter said:
Do poly people go to therapy a lot? Is it just the tony soprano therapy where they go to therapy for 8 years or more with no noticeable change, or are they going once and not listening to advice?
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Poly people could single handedly keep marriage counsellors in business.
 
Brain Problems said:
That said, after seeing it in the wild personally, even a 4/10 poly broad can usually land guys far higher than her station simply by virtue of possessing a vagina that is (wide, wide) open. Kinda shocking what some guys will tap but who am I to judge. What I will judge is the idea of hanging around regularly for it after you're quite clear on the score and probably should know better, let alone moving in with it.
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Is that surprising? Guys have no problem fucking women they would never date. For a lot of them the thrill of banging someone new is half the reason.
 
Carbiter said:
Although I cannot fathom why a therapist would tell someone to go into polyamory, in the case of the second option. Like I actually get that a therapist would promote trans stuff because they get threatened into it or they are ideologically compromised, but what is the benefit of polyamory?
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Human psychology is an infant science, still very much metaphorically draining bad blood with leeches. “Therapy”, unless it’s occupational therapy with a specific concrete goal, is just paying someone to pretend to be a sympathetic friend. And people shop around until they find someone who tells them what they want to hear.

If you have an unhealthy disordered life plan, you pretty much look for a “unhealthy disordered positive” therapist whose entire racket is validating your specific pathology.

Tl;dr: the benefit is attracting regular paycheques to your practice
 
74164978231 said:
Is that surprising? Guys have no problem fucking women they would never date. For a lot of them the thrill of banging someone new is half the reason.
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Agreed, that's what I was trying to say in my rambling, incoherent reply. I just was making a snide comment about the quality of the broads they're fucking (fat, gross, dysgenic) while accepting that for a lot of men (especially autist nerds) ass is ass but I was more sickened at the idea of sticking with it on top of doing it with someone who engages in poly shit, which in my mind subtracts even more points from the score.
 
Brain Problems said:
Agreed, that's what I was trying to say in my rambling, incoherent reply. I just was making a snide comment about the quality of the broads they're fucking (fat, gross, dysgenic) while accepting that for a lot of men (especially autist nerds) ass is ass but I was more sickened at the idea of sticking with it on top of doing it with someone who engages in poly shit, which in my mind subtracts even more points from the score.
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If you're generally looking for a "hit it and quit it" or "once in a while" - having a girl be openly poly is a plus.

If you're hitting up one night stand/friends with benefits girls, they're almost always going to be "seeing" other people anyhow. May as well just be up front about it and know that when you're done she's got someone else to fall back on instead of pressing into you.

Being in a poly relationship seems extremely weird though, just like a band-aid for "this relationship wouldn't work but I'm getting X or Y from someone else" instead of breaking up. Likely generates some real, raw, unadulterated resentment and anger.
 
I know people with Psychology degrees that know less about psychology than I do, and I do not have a degree in anything related to it.

These are the "psychologists" that see poly couples:
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Carbiter said:
Do poly people go to therapy a lot? Is it just the tony soprano therapy where they go to therapy for 8 years or more with no noticeable change, or are they going once and not listening to advice?
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Poly relationships almost always form because one of the people was cheating and the other is too bitchmade to leave them. Therapists aren't allowed to tell them that they're retarded and should get some self respect anymore, so they just have to assure them that they're brave for making their choice.
 
smug comporon said:
Poly relationships almost always form because one of the people was cheating and the other is too bitchmade to leave them. Therapists aren't allowed to tell them that they're retarded and should get some self respect anymore, so they just have to assure them that they're brave for making their choice.
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Nah, they arent retarded, telling your client to leave your spouse is one less customer in their book and that would be retarded
 
DeutschfagAufAbwegen said:
Nah, they arent retarded, telling your client to leave your spouse is one less customer in their book and that would be retarded
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That and the problems these people have are predictable - the drama and problems caused by sleeping around/being cucked and calling it enlightened are entertaining, but there are a finite number of ways to be/be with the town bicycle and a finite number of emotional responses it will realistically provoke. A therapist with a large volume of 'poly' clients will probably have seen it all and developed go-to responses fairly quickly.
 
smug comporon said:
Poly relationships almost always form because one of the people was cheating and the other is too bitchmade to leave them. Therapists aren't allowed to tell them that they're retarded and should get some self respect anymore, so they just have to assure them that they're brave for making their choice.
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The party being cheated on is often a combination of bitchmade with low self esteem and easily manipulated. Couple that with years of progressive mental conditioning about how we should be “open minded” and you’ve got someone who’d accept being in a relationship with consensual cheating.
 
smug comporon said:
Poly relationships almost always form because one of the people was cheating and the other is too bitchmade to leave them. Therapists aren't allowed to tell them that they're retarded and should get some self respect anymore, so they just have to assure them that they're brave for making their choice.
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You can tell a client they're being retarded but you have to phrase it professionally. Usually in some way like "you can put yourself first" or something like that.
 
re: age gaps: I think the reason why polycucks are so blase about age gaps is because for most people, you're naturally discouraged from dating someone too much younger/older than yourself because you find them difficult to relate to. We probably all remember being younger and finding people x amount of years older than us to be kind of incomprehensible, and most of us have probably reached a certain age where we've realized (again) that people who are x amount of years younger than us have basically nothing in common with us. This makes it really hard to build a decent relationship, so most people aren't gonna bother, and those who do (assuming we're still talking about normal people here, not groomers/predators obv) tend to be in exceptional circumstances (like dating someone younger who is just unironically very mature and well established for their age) (alternately, when you're both old enough that even a noticeable age gap has evened out just from the fact that you're both old as balls anyway).
Poly people don't have these obstacles. It doesn't matter if they can relate to their partners because that's not a part of the relationship. They literally don't have the time to get the kind of emotional depth where age differences complicate things. If none of your partners matter outside of what they can provide for you, namely dick or pussy, then it doesn't matter if you have no shared life experiences. It's just not relevant.


What really gets me about poly is how much of it involves online relationships. Like I'm not an e-dating/LDR hater, but let's be realistic, it's just not really a relationship. At best it's a stage in a relationship - like yeah, okay, you met your girlfriend online, you live 5000 miles apart, but you visit her when you get time off of work, you're looking for jobs in her area, you're applying for a visa to live in her country. Whatever. As long as the goal is to transition it to an IRL relationship, I'm not going to automatically dunk on it. But that's not what the polyfags are doing.
How the hell is it poly when 8 of your 9 partners are just twitter mutuals that sometimes sext? I remember a callout post or something that went mildly viral a while back, it involved a polycule with an implausibly high number of members, like 50+. Turns out they were talking about a discord server. Like, this person joined a discord server, and by doing so was considered to be "dating" every other member of the server.
Imagine being someone in that server who's unaware that it's supposed to be a polycule.
 
Petrusha the White said:
How the hell is it poly when 8 of your 9 partners are just twitter mutuals that sometimes sext? I remember a callout post or something that went mildly viral a while back, it involved a polycule with an implausibly high number of members, like 50+. Turns out they were talking about a discord server. Like, this person joined a discord server, and by doing so was considered to be "dating" every other member of the server.
Imagine being someone in that server who's unaware that it's supposed to be a polycule.
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Rhetorical but I'll answer anyways - status symbol. The more people you're dating the better you are at poly which makes you more enlightened and even more worthy of respect in the poly 'community'. This goes double for people with few to no IRL relationships, they overcompensate by shifting the goalposts and telling implausible lies to distract from how they 'failed' at poly (which in their nutso world means they aren't as enlightened).

ETA:
Petrusha the White said:
re: age gaps: I think the reason why polycucks are so blase about age gaps is because for most people, you're naturally discouraged from dating someone too much younger/older than yourself because you find them difficult to relate to.
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The larger # of people helps mask things for two reasons as well:
1) Dilution - even if you are dating (not screwing, actually dating) someone who is so young/old that relatability is an issue, it's easier to ignore that and focus on things that you can both relate to because you have multiple other cucks to take up your time.
2) Shifting - when you date someone who is barely old/young enough to be relatable, over a long enough time that will shift your definition of relatable and end with you being open to dating someone that you would not have considered previously. And unlike monogamous relationships, you can start looking for a new relationship before the old one ends (more importantly, without a breakup that will probably make you stop and think about what you want out of the next relationship).
 
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