I'm new here, and I just wanted to post a bit of my story, as I'm still closeted to most friends. Three years ago, I got out of a bad relationship, got sober, and decided in order to work on myself, I would only date in a casual way for at least a year. I'm involved in the kink scene in New York, so it was easy to find friendly, trustworthy, understanding folks to have respectful fun with. Several months in, I start seeing a woman from a newly open marriage, who is looking for the same uncomplicated friendship. Fast forward a couple of months and....uh oh. I'm falling in love. I decide to tell her, and before I can get the words out she starts crying, because she's falling in love with me, and terrified about what it means for her marriage. She sits down with her husband (now my friend and metamor) and tells him how she feels. He says it sounds to him like I'm one of her soulmates, and he couldn't be happier (I fucking LOVE this guy). We've now been together for two and a half years, and I have found another love to share my life with. We are all friends (my girlfriend, her husband, my other girlfriend, her girlfriend) my two loves are the most understanding, caring, beautiful humans I have ever known. I feel like I always have someone to reach out to. I am out to my ex wife and my two sons (12 and 14) and I'm so glad that I can model another healthy and respectful way to love for my kids. My (longer term) girlfriend was away with her husband for a couple of weeks and just returned, and my son said, "I'm glad M______ is back. I missed her." and it dawned on me that I have created a poly family.
I spent my whole life up until now thinking that I was a horrible human being because sexual and emotional exclusivity didn't make sense to me. I feel like my romantic life has just begun, at 44. Thanks to all of you for being here!