Porn Addiction Support Thread

@⋖ cørdion ⋗ Women are most certainly a one way street.

We can try to understand what they are dealing with in life, but they don't even want to know what we are dealing with.

Almost all women see any weakness in a man off putting and their response is to make fun of it.

Men falling into porn addiction is something that will always only be of concern to us men. And the sad truth that loneliness and the breakdown of the dating market is the primary cause for porn addiction.

A world with no more booth babes, but endless hardcore porn as the source of anything sexually charged (and thots).
 
I honestly tend to forget men and women are 1:1 comparable. By nature alone, every single thing that we see in men happens in women in equal measure. There are women who love hairy, obese, greasy men. Decent looking women dating balding losers cause they're into near-anorexic scrawniness. For every guy who has cropped hentai for a pfp and an in-game name like "goon trap", there's a woman doing the same. However, while he's stuck in a semi-ironic downward spiral of depression relieved only by the momentary bonding through pornographic consumption, she's applauded and rewarded for being one of the boys/a pick-me who couldn't even manage to choose a niche to grift less mainstream than porn.

Look at vtubers: A genre in which women can depict themselves as they want to be depicted, and it's the exact same as how men do when they LARP a troony anime girl. Big tits, fake nasal voice, hentai womb brand, over-the-top sexual innuendos. You open their Twitter: they got a 'mommy' and 3 'sisters' linked. "Well it's men who enabl-" no, it's women cheering each other on towards causing the most sexually-charged financial damage to the men they rely on.

The change has been gradual so it's easy to lose sight of, but the fact we got boring podcast-tier content creators suddenly whoring out "because they're briefly single" or "used to cosplay so why not" is bonkers. It is not normal to do sex work. They want the proper respect (except paying taxes), but they also want you to kneel for them from your high-paying job because they're just that sexy. But also dehumanize you for consuming the pornographic content they produce. So many mental gymnastics just to go "Yeah I'm hot and I love when men pay me for being hot".

It's like that left vs right meme template. Dudes go "I like fat hoes", women write a novel as to why their yaoi gore-snuff pornography is justified and so much better than wacking it to SFM futas, but go figure which of the two deserve ridicule. Even the most gremlin-like streamers like Emiru also want to grift the sexy cosplay angle. Always with the fucking sex and you wonder why lonely Twitch-addicts are hooked on porn.
 
One thing that can help is to think of BATS:
Bored
Alone
Tired
Stress
When you are in states that when temptations of getting of dopamine of porn is the strongest. Being aware of when you are in these states of mind and making healthy habits to cope better rather than watching porn.
 
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I've been thinking about the psychology behind addiction and self-identification. I believe that porn addiction is fake. It's a "messaging issue" more than anything. Think about the first time you were in love and how that isn't at all comparable to the hours spent watching porn. Pornography is "raw" sexuality, in that it is underdeveloped. It is stunted growth. It's to reduce Love into merely the Sex Act, and you can observe this with hook-up culture too, where the actuality is that the people participating in it do not know how to have sex; they are just mimicking what they have watched. Masturbating to pornography is a misunderstanding of one's own sexuality and outlets for growth. You have the ability to transmute primal, sexual energy, into something that helps you more than a cycle. Humans are built on routine, they are built on habits, and they form habits as a source of comfort.

Back to the idea of self-identifying as having a porn problem though- Essentially, the only Alcoholics Anonymous program that works is for specifically mid-late 20th century Alcoholics. Social media has destroyed the framework that AA existed within, because (like Therapy) this has become a source of social prestige rather than actually seeking solutions. It's important to also note that the only reason AA exists (and thus, all forms of anti-addiction psychiatry/programming) is because Dr. Carl Jung told one of the founders that he needed to have a spiritual experience or else he was going to remain an alcoholic his entire life. This isn't to say that the "answer" to this is to become an e-convert and to over-zealously LARP (There was a twitter thread between two E-Orthodox Converts in like 2021-2022, one who is African, and they talked about how cuddling is equated with adultery. Orthodox Zoomer was one of their names iirc) but the answer, in the context of pornography, is to have an experience of Eros. If you observe the fetishes of lolcows that are documented on here, it isn't just a matter of sexual degeneracy, but one of intense immaturity. A fart fetish is just peter pan syndrome turned extremely inward. It's okay to be horny, but that horniness needs to be transferred to something more vital and life-giving because pornography is pacifying and removes one of their sense of agency.

The problem with self-identifying as someone who has a "struggle with porn" is that you are benefiting from this struggle you seemingly wish to get rid of. It's like identifying as an author without completing your first work; you are getting dopamine and a sense of accomplishment by telling other people that you are "writing a book". You tell yourself or those around you that you are "struggling with porn" and you get a boost because you are "fighting the good fight". No, the truth is that you got molested at age 9-14 because you either A. saw a pornmag with your friends outside (if you're old) or B. you had unmoderated internet access as a kid. You don't have to live like this.

There is a sphere, let's call it "Habit" and you are in this sphere. It's a sphere because it defines your daily routine. What/when you eat, who you have relationships with, how you conduct yourself, and how you see yourself are all lived under this lens. It's not only this, but more importantly the gap between who you currently are and who you can become. Everyone has this gap, but the points A and B are what vary from person-to-person. Addiction recovery gives the illusion that one is "leaving the sphere" because they name the issue (like the Existentialists, or Romantics did) but they are still in the sphere, because their life has shifted from a "pursuit of pleasure openly" to a "pursuit of pleasure in shame". If you are fearful because you see pornography, or even an attractive woman, you are still in this sphere of Habit. If you are a fat person who is fearful about having cookies in the house, you are still very fat.

Edit: Another important aspect of all this is integrity. You have to have a belief that you truly can get out of your situation and change for the better. Which is another reason why (most) lolcows are laughable, because they can actually get out of the life situation they put themselves in. You cannot define yourself by the use of passive language such as:

"I fell into pornography."
"I just can't control myself."
"I'm lonely, tired, etc."

These are all designed toward planning for failure and it's fake and gay to do this while also crying out for help. If you go on the nofap subreddit, or a lot of popular nofap pages/reels/etc. they are all like this. "We're gonna make it... it's a tough fight..." It's all theatrics designed to fetishize """recovery""" from pornography.
 
Hello there,

First off, to the Kiwis who shared and the one who made this thread, you're not alone and I'm sorry you have often struggled with this issue. I will say, men are not alone in the struggle with porn consumption, some women are very into it too, but it is primarily a male dominated issue. That said, there definitely is hope, and multiple sites and resources to combat this, I'll list some in order of quality.

1. Fight the New Drug. FTND is a non-profit, non-religious, non-legislative site that is dedicated to exposing the harms and evils of pornography. Mind you, they are not for banning porn, which I agree with (though I think it should be far less accessible), but simply disengaging and choosing not to consume it. Their website is here: https://fightthenewdrug.org/

2. This one IS a religious organization, but not as supported and good as FTND, still here ya go: https://thefreedomfight.org/

3. Weirdly, NoFap is actually pretty decent, here is their site as well: https://nofap.com/

Also, hate to tinfoil hat here but the Jews are heavily involved in the industry. A rabbi owns PornHub: https://thejewishindependent.com.au/a-rabbi-is-overseeing-pornhub-thats-actually-not-so-weird (they say it is not weird and people who disagree are anti-Semites, go figure). There was a Reddit AMA a long time ago that got deleted or archived, a male porn star went on and at one point at some pointed question, he weirdly devolved into a chimp out and talked about how much the Jews ran the industry.

There is also the issue of "ethical porn." Let me tell you, unless you make it yourself with an enthusiastic participant or personally know the people who made the porn, ethical porn is just not possible. I have seen this argument thrown around the internet frequently now and it is complete bullshit. There have been so many cases throughout the decades of horrible abuse, rape, to even death that have been documented and swept under the rug. There was another AMA a while back where a former porn star of a very physically abusive video talked about how she did NOT consent for the scene to go that far and had PTSD from it and left the industry soon after because she could no longer do it without panicking.

I heard this once and it has stuck; pornography has fetishized and perverted every single human or even non-human relationship possible. Your girlfriends, wives, husbands, teachers, doctors, siblings, parents, strangers, friends, even your pets and even children are victims and there is porn out there of it and a willing consumer who will fap to it. Porn is so insidious as it is so permissible in our society right now, the "men have urges" excuse doesn't cut it. You can have sex! Go out and find someone, develop a relationship even! Some comedian once said "you're gonna be messed up sexually if your first thousand or so experiences with sex are with a computer." He's right, and it has effectively caused erectile dysfunction in an entire generation of men, terrified women and conditioned them to accept abuse (men too for that matter), ruined children's lives, and traumatized them too.

Pedo apologists will claim that loli or shota hentai decreases the likelihood of a pedo to offend, this is just not the case. As evident by this article: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/...-dolls-keep-pedophiles-from-offending/423324/ and this one: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ilia?msockid=00b76bb0024b6e8527217ec903156f38 in actuality probably increases their chances of offending, as there are already predisposed desires towards children.

The insidiousness of porn cannot be overstated, it has infiltrated so many levels of society and acceptability that I don't know if we can ever go back totally, but you personally can fight it and tell your friends and family they can too. Porn is life altering, from your personal relationships to the porn stars who end up plastering themselves and selling their souls online, it is degrading, perverse, and life altering at its worst. There are no winners with porn, performer, director, or consumer, only losers. The reason porn is free is because you pay with your soul, sex sells, and we are willing consumers.

Reminds me of the anecdote of before the internet was big, if you said "I want to fuck toasters" you'd be ridiculed and your friends or family would get you help and you'd move on with your life. Now if you say "I want to fuck toasters" you can find an online group for toaster fucking and you will end up dying with a burnt dick in a toaster after getting electrocuted, and the indignity cannot be erased and there is no redemption.

Hope this helps anyone who genuinely wants to get away from porn, it is evil at its finest and I'm tired of pretending it's not.
 
I have a weird question. Do laugh at me if it's retarded.

Do any of you that abstain from porn, but still masturbate (which is my position, that masturbation itself is fine but porn isn't), struggle with naturally fantasizing about women you've seen from porn?

It feels like just "rewatching" it, mentally.
 
Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
Do any of you that abstain from porn, but still masturbate (which is my position, that masturbation itself is fine but porn isn't), struggle with naturally fantasizing about women you've seen from porn?
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Probably stems from primarily being exposed to women online/who engage in sex work. It's creepy to pump it thinking about the cashier at the store, sure, but it's not much different from imagining someone you've literally seen pumped on video.

The more I correlate porn with boredom the more sense it makes that the few friends who still just send me random porn every now and then do so because they ain't got shit else to offer. No smalltalk skills, no blogging about their day. Nothing. It's AI porn for the sake of "wow, look how far we've gotten", but even that has become so normalized it's just.. more porn.

Eat too much? Boredom. Fap too much? Boredom. Niggas do be needing hobbies.
 
Hey there YouTube, welcome to Let's Jerk with Benzo, your number one oshi on Kiwi Farms.

I do not like to admit that I am a person who watches pornography, thus/but because of my neurotic and stubborn self-conflicted personality I somehow masochistically end up doing it.

Ironically maybe some boyish need to prance and scream "I AM A SEXUAL BEING" also compels me to do so lol.

I also feel a sort of political guilt. Porn industry is fucked as fuck, and it deff impacts sex all over the world.

Curiously as I am about to confess my guilt, the act of self-reflection informs me that I may be accused of acting like a so-called "Nigel" and I am overcome with self-disgust at even the prospect of doing so;

"The Nigel" is an excellent satirical persona my nigga Lidl informed me about. Imagine a woman convincing her friend that her boyfriend is "not like other guys", a "male feminist" maybe, a "sensitive and caring person", and imagine that the guy is *still* just a gooner who plays it up to impress the poor gal. This is the Nigel. A guy who makes himself as sympathetic/civilized as possible to women, in order to get social capita or some shit, in order to get the actual goods - the sexorinos.

Being a male feminist for instance, as a way to sexually impress women and being a high value male in general (or some booolshiet like that nigga).

The reason I fear that Nigelism is creeping into me when I write this post is not that I think I will obtain some pussy as I hit "Post Reply" but rather more broadly that I feel it so quickly becomes an exercise in public self-flagelation.

Look at me, the good remorseful male with the correct opinions on stuff. I'm young, fit, and I'm sorry baby :tomgirl:

See what I mean? Nigelism. And I don't want to be Nigel. Even if he gets all the pussy in the world, his hunger is a prison and he is cringe as cringe can be. At the same time I don't want to be an asshole either SO: How u COOM & GOON benzo? Saving women one post at the time, chads.

I watch porn like 2-3 times a week, I like a lot of different women, and I do not have the balls to specify further what porn i jerk off to tbh. I could Nigel it and say "the most normal normalest porn =)" whatever that is.

In what I choose to call 'the trance of the goon' one experiences a bewildered sense of judgement and self. It is truly an intoxicated wild state, a sort of violent state almost. This is impossible to reflect upon during the affair because this mental state is defined by its obsession with the goon thus no reflection can even take place. It is kind of frightening how often we are subjected to this wild animal state.

It is this state that cause me to slip. In the trance of the goon i cease giving a fuck and reach for the faptop like a gorilla reachin fo' dat ass.

Just some hardcore nigelism:
I believe that it has made my sexuality more antisocial, and I am a heterosexual, thus it has negatively impacted women thru me in subtle ways probably. Now - In my defense **i am also the fucking nigger who admits that** and i know even otherwise good niggas wouldn't lol
 
Thought it was worth sharing here.
Porn is classical conditioning.
Tldr:
"Essentially: when you masturbate to something, you are conditioning yourself to like it. It's very similar to training a dog with treats. You begin to associate the pleasure and orgasm with whatever you were watching."
"To undo classical conditioning, "extinction" needs to happen. The conditioned response needs to be unpaired completely, to annihilate the association that has been created. This is why if you take pornography away from a transgender, the conditioned response will begin to go extinct. They will begin to see through the brainwashing. They will begin to doubt and question their decisions and state of mind."
 
I jerk off but I don't watch porn. I quit it very recently, about 2 weeks ago. Porn was never a necessity for me. It just made "the job" easier.

I use my imagination now which is the recommended thing to "use" if you're going to jerk off since there's no visual stimulation/aid, which is apparently the problem with using porn to jerk off (or so I've heard, I think. I know there's a more in-depth reason as to why using porn to jerk off is bad but I forgot all of it).
 
SIMIΔN said:
I'd reccomend the free 'easypeasy' method.
https://read.easypeasymethod.org/
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It didn't work for me because
1. The entire book is predicated on the idea of "removing brainwashing" of thinking that there's any benefit to jerking off to porn, however
1a. The author completely sabotaged my ability to respect him by repeatedly mentioning that new-age hippy shit about separating "tantric" and "propagative" parts of sex.
1b. The book attempts to remove your brainwashing by using brainwashing tactics itself, repeating the same thing in slightly different ways ad nauseam.
1c. None of the assertions to the contrary in and surrounding the analogy about banging your head against a wall all the time to feel relief when you stop actually change the fact that edging and orgasming to porn feel good, and it is not actually obvious that the everything-else-feeling-shittier will actually make the integral of the amount of pleasure you feel lower than in not using at all--the problem with trying to make a hedonic argument against hedonism in an inoffensive lowest common denominator afterlife-denying materialist paradigm.

1½. The supposed 95% success rate guarantee is predicated on following a specific set of instructions, and those instructions include one about NOT following any advice from sources other than easypeasy, which is cult-like and made me hate the author even more. Not just because of the aforementioned hippy shit, but especially because of the consequentialist cajolery about continuing to goon while reading the book and having one last goon session, which is in direct conflict with Christian virtue ethics.

2. The brainwashing is not the main problem anyways, at least for me (although the first step in getting a lot of people to stop is definitely convincing them that they actually need to). The book constantly downplays withdrawal pangs as if they're nothing, but I don't relate to that at all, whenever I'm alone and/or sleep-deprived and/or stressed it's like a repeated wrenching guttural wave through my entire torso coupled with the most raging throbbing hard-on imaginable, and then even if I manage to endure it until the sensation subsides something weird happens and I'll enter a mentally numb state where all thoughts that align with my actual values are violently pushed out and my goals are changed into high time preference ones and I'll robotically jump through and blow past all the technical hoops and reminders I try to leave for myself with unstoppable determination until I enter post nut clarity at which point I am finally capable of remembering and caring about all the reasons that the weak robotic rationalizations are false.

I feel like the only way I'll be able to stop is by planning out what I'll be doing at every hour of every day but I really dread doing that
 
I feel an absense of negative thoughts whenever i dont goon. Like i just feel much more peaceful and less self hatred whenever i simply just dont touch my pp

something that helps me is changing my identity and seeing myself as someone who is not a gooner at all rather than someone who is an addict trying to quit
 
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The man The only man said:
Thought it was worth sharing here.
Porn is classical conditioning.
Tldr:
"Essentially: when you masturbate to something, you are conditioning yourself to like it. It's very similar to training a dog with treats. You begin to associate the pleasure and orgasm with whatever you were watching."
"To undo classical conditioning, "extinction" needs to happen. The conditioned response needs to be unpaired completely, to annihilate the association that has been created. This is why if you take pornography away from a transgender, the conditioned response will begin to go extinct. They will begin to see through the brainwashing. They will begin to doubt and question their decisions and state of mind."
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fyi there are many mtf that are not autogynaphiles - actually homosexual men who are just trying to improve their prospects

The majority are autogynaphiles (purely motivated by the arousal associated with their becoming the object of their desires)

It is true that the overwhelming majority of trans mtf online are autogynaphiles. It is true that this represents the most extreme form of maladaptive coping imaginable. Perhaps a third group is the novel one created more recently, to demoralize the population.

Cnidarian said:
Why would someone admit to a pornography problem ITT without using an alt?
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Why not?

it is a prolific problem. Sometimes i slip into it again, but i see it as mostly escapism, now. I do a lot of unhealthy things to escape. most people do, actually. Modern society is boned (an aside). Recognizing these compulsions is extremely important.

Forprexxer said:
I feel like the only way I'll be able to stop is by planning out what I'll be doing at every hour of every day but I really dread doing that
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i remember someone told me recently that most people spend most of their time disassociating. i also read a fascinating paper recently about pre-agricultural societies, and the researchers supposedly found that our ancestors were just as lazy, most of the time...

so i'm thinking a good goal is to just aim for a fixed number of hours of productivity each day. That's what i'm trying to do, anyway. 3 hour session of important aspirational business, then work is a filler, chill for the rest doing what u want.
 
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