Post your favorite spam mail - Because there's more than Nigerian princes out there

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Bloitzhole

Bloitzhole

My boat's got a rusty anchor...
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Everyone hates spam, but every now and again, a spam mail comes along that is so outrageously retarded, it's worth sharing.

Case in point:

The secret *penis brain* tricks for getting hard (works every time) ​

IMG_20211107_164328.jpg
 
NigKid said:
Bro... how the fuck are we gonna beat that?! i only have those fucking musk bitcoin ones
Click to expand...
No idea, but I think whoever generates these has a certain theme. The other one I got, presumably from the same spam mail distributor/bot because they link to the same spam site is

Former Nazi Doc Gets This Guy A 15’’ Monster Johnson

Adult Industry Insider Shares 15’’ Elongation Secret​

I don’t know how to tell you this but… the member elongation secret was right there all this time...​

​

This guy shoots movies for the adult industry and the things he saw there will knock your socks off.​

​

He accidentally found the elongation secret the adult stars were using. Yes… All the stars, all of them, it was all a big faaaat lie.​

​

Some of them born with small Johnsons, they managed to get their big boys upgraded by 5’’, 6’’ and even 8 inches.​

​

It all happened in Germany, at this former nazi clinic when a crazy guy working for Hitler developed the formula that was going to save all men​

IMG_20211107_170527.jpg

​

You have to see this, this video guy published all their findings on his personal website.​

​

Yes…. including the formula. It’s absolutely mind blowing.​

​

I’m not sure for how long, but word of mouth says it’s already helping 300 men every day gain inches on their members. The average increase is 68%.​

​

Now you and I both you can’t miss this.​

​

I haven’t. But I’ll say no more. Yessss, there is something that finally works.​

 
Bloitzhole said:
No idea, but I think whoever generates these has a certain theme. The other one I got, presumably from the same spam mail distributor/bot because they link to the same spam site is

Former Nazi Doc Gets This Guy A 15’’ Monster Johnson

Adult Industry Insider Shares 15’’ Elongation Secret​

I don’t know how to tell you this but… the member elongation secret was right there all this time...​

​

This guy shoots movies for the adult industry and the things he saw there will knock your socks off.​

​

He accidentally found the elongation secret the adult stars were using. Yes… All the stars, all of them, it was all a big faaaat lie.​

​

Some of them born with small Johnsons, they managed to get their big boys upgraded by 5’’, 6’’ and even 8 inches.​

​

It all happened in Germany, at this former nazi clinic when a crazy guy working for Hitler developed the formula that was going to save all men​

View attachment 2696725​

​

You have to see this, this video guy published all their findings on his personal website.​

​

Yes…. including the formula. It’s absolutely mind blowing.​

​

I’m not sure for how long, but word of mouth says it’s already helping 300 men every day gain inches on their members. The average increase is 68%.​

​

Now you and I both you can’t miss this.​

​

I haven’t. But I’ll say no more. Yessss, there is something that finally works.​

Click to expand...
bro... im speechless... you fucking struck gold
 
Back in the '00s I got this Matrix-esque spam mail about seeing the truth or something like that.

(I think it said to follow certain steps to reach a certain secret site that sounded rather loony.)
 
I fished some nudes of some random fat chick from a scammer who was trying to get me to sign up for an dating site that was asking for a credit card upon registration in order to do a background check. But that was with an old burner email.

Nigerian 419 scam.

FBI wanted to be paid through 7-11.

BCRL3HFO4VE4TIWIV4MSMWQGR4.jpg

I can't see how people fell for this.


Phone call from the CBP saying that they detained one of my truckers and there's a shipment of drugs that had my name on it, press "1" to speak with an representative.

And a few months ago, there's this medical student emailing me to recruit me in an harebrained scheme to reclaim his estate from his evil uncles.

Obligatory thread tax.

 
Last edited:
Bloitzhole said:

I’m not sure for how long, but word of mouth says it’s already helping 300 men every day gain inches on their members. The average increase is 68%.​

Click to expand...
Should have been 420 men with an average increase of 88%.
 
Man, I just get the boring "hot sexy chicks in your neighborhood wanna FUCK RIGHT NOW!!!" or "tee hee! My husband is n't home 2nite! Pls are yoy giving me the big sausage!?" As well as random right wing Qboomer grifting slime bulletins talking about "those demonrats" being responsible for anything, or a site literally called liberal tears that sells ammo at retardedly high prices presumably to own the libs. I just don't bother clicking on that shit anymore and just delete them since they're such bad spam even Gmail can tell and sends it directly to the spam folder.
Realistic Elephant said:
Should have been 420 men with an average increase of 88%.
Click to expand...
>not 6 million men
Ngmi
 
Bumping this because this one is kinda funny. Everyone knows the standard "You have X millions in bank account, please confirm your details". They put a twist in though

A) it actually has [**SPAM**] in the subject and B) it wants to make sure I am fucking dead - in fact if I do not respond in 3 days, they will be CERTAIN that I am FUCKING dead.
1637946055032.png

International Monetary Fund
Foreign Debt Settlement/Reconciliation

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

I am directed to contact you in order to urgently confirm from you if
actually you know one Mrs Agnes Sicilia Akon who claimed to be your
business associate/partner. The said Agnes Sicilia Akon
confirmed to us that you are Dead and she will like to change all the
Information that you gave to us as our bonafide beneficiary.
This development is coming now that the Ministry want to offset all
outstanding payments to all our legal foreign beneficiaries around the
world. Note that your payment file was affected.

As you may know, the total amount in your favour is a total sum of
$6.5 Million Dollars. We need to confirm from you if you are Dead or
Alive. Bear in mind that If we do not hear from you within 72 hours,it
automatically means that you are dead and the information passed to us
by Agnes Sicilia Akon is correct.

You are to contact me through my email address as soon as you receive this message
so as to know the true position of things with in order to avert any mistake in
remitting your out-standing payment to a wrong person/account.
Your swift response will help this ministry alot. Do email me with
your full names and direct phone number for an easy communication,
your age and occupation world suffice. Finally send an urgent reply to
enable us educate on the next step to take.

Bernard Lauwers
finance Director
International Monetary fund
 
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