Predictions for DSP in 2023

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Bigbadyeet

Bigbadyeet

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Well guys with another year of WWE Champions spending behind us, I thought id like to hear some peoples thoughts on what they think will happen in the DSP Extended Universe this season before we get too far into it.

Proposed format stolen from Ethan Ralph thread due to laziness.

TOP 3 Predictions

1. Health scare saga (gout/liver)
2. Gross revenue goes below 9k a month for at least half the year
3. We see Kat again in some form


Optional Additional Predictions:

Less likely:

1. DSP actually does an interview
2. He loses weight
3. Admits he’s on payment plans for luxury items

Outlandish:

1. 1MM stops tithing
2. Bank leak/PayPal leak 2.0
3. He makes significantly improvements to his lifestyle and wellbeing

Let’s see who has the best foresight into the life of the pigroach.

Editing in my own predictions.
 
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TOP 3 Predictions

1. WWE Champions begins its 7-, 8-, and 9-star champion program. The tips goal is raised by another 2 grand.
2. CoffeeCuck returns to openly donate to DSP once more after the mortifying loss of Emil and some other retard as dentheads.
3. DSP gets the computer he's been stealth-begging for, only to use it for games that could be run on Windows 98.


Optional Additional Predictions:

Less likely:

1. DSP gets scammed by someone and loses "alottamoney, mmkay? *snort*" as an excuse as to why he needs to hit this month's goals.
2. Piggo gets referenced by someone actually well-known in the FGC and seethes over it for several months.
3. DSP and LTG meet in Phil's only SF6 stream. Somehow, the match ends with both parties ragequitting.

Outlandish:

1. DSP finally caves and does a fightcade stream. The stream is abandoned in 15 minutes when he gets bombarded by detractor memes, insulting names like WWECHAMPIONS_DSP and, of course, Gojitenks asking to do some 3s sets.
2. The Divorce Saga.
3. Burger King finally apologizes to Phil for the chicken sandwich.
 
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My predictions:

The health scare saga happens, but it's for Kat. Phil needs donations to save his family!!!! KF mocks him incessantly but later it turns out that she really did have a heart attack from being so fat and Phil really did have trouble paying her medical bills because he got trash-tier Obamacare. Boy who cried wolf, something something.

Phil finally reaches the very end of his patience with K-pop react videos on Patreon and puts that one idiot whale on blast publicly. For this he loses even more 1000-bit bitches.

Phil finally accepts one of those trash-tier sponsorships like Raid Shadow Legends, then gets angry at his dents for not making it worth his while.
 
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TOP 3 Predictions

1. The dinosaur Windows 8 PC finally kicks the bucket. Some dent offers up some high-end build to Pigler for free. He complains when it doesn't get delivered on time and does a whiny baby prestream about it for 2 hours.
2. Khet keeps getting fatter/continues looking more like a boy at the beginning of the year. Phil cracks the whip and makes his horse gallop to cut some fat and posts new pics of his "supermodel wife d00d" to 'own' the trolls and end speculation that she is gone. She reverts back to 2017 form, but slightly chubbier, as the wall smacked her years earlier.
3. DSP gets into another feud with a notable streamer/e-celeb, only for that streamer to once again make him look like a giant piece of shit.


Optional Additional Predictions:

Less likely:

1. DSP gets banned off of YouTube for some reason, but somehow slithers his way back onto the platform.
2. Recession hits hard, and donos from dents dry up faster than expected, leading to massive beg segments, T and Y posing constantly. Finacial issues leads to threats of repo of house/car due to lower income, while simultaneously, more financial resources are allocated to WWE Champions. (this is unlikely because Dents will go into the poor house to fund their master).
3. His YouTube account gets hacked by a detractor.

Outlandish:

1. DSP donates to a charity/charitable cause.
2. Khet reveals herself as 1 Minute Man, as the name is a testament to his bedroom prowess.
3. Derich disappears from the streams, likely due to arrest for sexual harassment/porn-related (2nd part not outlandish).

Edit - Bonus Outlandish:

Jenna makes her way to Renton to confront DSP, the child molester that married her sister, and ends up living with them for a short spell - with disastrous ending.
 
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Top 3:
-Some other random appliance breaks down and needs to be replaced or the ant army will storm the castle (dishwasher, garage door opener, kats fat ass destroys all the chairs in the dining room, etc.)
-Kat has an ingrown toenail or some other benign medical condition that needs EMERGENCY surgery to fix
-DSP gets approved for a significant loan and gloats about it on stream

A bunch of boring predictions for a boring fuck. Outside of Agent Jasper exposing WWE this year was pretty boring for Dave with no real khantent aside from retarded sperg rants.
 
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Top 3:
1. A dent will get him a new PC. Stream quality won't improve at all and Phail will refuse to play PC games.
2. His monthly revenue will keep falling, maybe considerably so if he gets hit by that new Youtube monetization rule that he gloated about yesterday, begging will ramp up to levels never thought before.
3. Some new leak will occur.

Less likely:
1. Phail will start a weekly gum flapping-only stream that he wanted to do since at least 2016. Could be pahlitics/current events like he kept talking about, could be some other topic.
2. Phail will have a full-on mental breakdown on stream.
3. Some sort of genuine health REEEmergency.

Outlandish:
1. Derich gets arrested for trying to molest a child.
2. Phil does a charity stream and completely rehabilitates his image.
3. Khet appears on stream.
 
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What CAN happen?

1. Further deterioration of his condo unit.
2. More money drama.
3. Another fake reemergency for his streaming hardware.

Absolutly everything was unveiled this year: His fat monster of a mom/wife, undeniable WWE proof and his condo looking like a Fallout 3 shelter.

1. Derich gets arrested for trying to molest a child.
Click to expand...

That's a when not an If ):
 
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TOP 3 Predictions:

1.Phil's computer will finally die, and he'll have a mental breakdown on Twitter/do a short, then someone will tell him he can use his laptop and we will get a retarded stream full of begging and desperation. But he is actually just waiting for the retard he turned the PC down from before to come back. Then THE STREAM IS SAVED!

2.Possibly health scare, or minimally more lesions appear on his skin as his health goes further south.

3. Finally refinances his house with the bank and gets that money, spends some minor money on stream improvements such as a new webcam and capture card, which he fails to utilise, still no green screen. Of course the rest goes on Hogans and maybe a zoo trip (but its actually Doordash).

Optional Additional Predictions:

Possibly during a drunk COD or something similar stream he lets slip that his relationship is in trouble and his house is falling apart, like talking about the black mold situation.
 
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TOP 3 PREDICTIONS:

  1. Gay internet slapfights with other streamers or even individual detractors (like the Secret limited spergout), due to falling view count and jealousy. Included in more videos by bigger Youtubers like August the duck and SunnyV2. Copium fueled prestreams on a daily basis.
  2. Gets more gifts by retards, maybe a whale gifts a new PC, flexes massive improvements but somehow backfires and blows up in his face
  3. New podcast format, potentially a full scale "twitter trending news" show that lasts 2-3h on a night streams in an effort to make them make money again. Think Jimmy Fallon but greasy fake Polish faggot with NPD.
 
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Most likely
Phil will bring out a green screen and secret agent Jasper will destroy it after one stream
Youtube will kick him out of the parntership program (this would be consistent with his prior history. Remember his "Twitch loves e and my streams?") and he will go on his knees begging for even more money

Edit: totally forgot the most likely. He will ragequit SF6 after a few spanking sessions and crawl back to his beloved 30th anniversary collection

very unlikely
The IRS will finally catch up this buffoon has fooled them for years and put him in debtiors prison
A new sighting of fat Ket and her gout lord together
 
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Prediction for Phil in 2023
- He will still be playing games horribly for people and still make money from it somehow.
--side note-- Phil will outlive us all. I will probably be 90 years old and DSP will be making shitty let's plays at 130 years old and make money.
 
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