Predictions for DSP in 2023

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He dances on Metokur's grave
Most Likely:
Phil announces big changes to his channel that you will never believe. The big change turns out to be a new hat.
Feasting with the King gets cancelled for being too much work.
Phil claims there are too many new games coming out but decides to do another playthrough of Bugsnax.
 
Most likely:

- PC breaks, holds an emergency stream where he bitches and whines until someone gifts him one (or it "breaks" and he gets given the money to buy one)
- Fewer actual gameplay streams and more "chill" Q&A
- Support remains largely the same, but even fewer individual contributors.
- SF6 is a disaster and he runs back to SF2T


Possible:
- Insults the wrong Youtuber or Streamer, who has enough clout to come after him.
- Removed from the Youtuber partner program.
- One of his mods/whales leaks info and comes here looking for symapthy.


Optimistic:
- Accidentally reveals him and Khet are separated
- Gets removed from Paypal
- Minor medical issue that keeps him from streaming for a week.
 
Likely:
1: Some sort of actual health scare he can't pretend to ignore anymore (Gout attack, heart issues, stroke)
2: He gets roped into some cheap credit card and spends like crazy, starting the cycle all over again
3: Trouble with the horse at home

Less likely but still probably:
1: A dent gifts him a new PC that he can't get working so he gets super toxic
2: One of his big whales leaves him for attention or drama and he gets angry
3: Derich starts donating

Unlikely:

1: OIC stops being a cuck
2: DSP becomes a positive and nontoxic person who admits his flaws
3: Stroke on stream
 
dave has mentioned he has some big announcement for 2023, but we can only assume it'll be some low effort money grab

I think he'll finally start having an extra day off or he will have a dedicated day for whatever low effort podcast thing he wants to do
Another relationship? Another pet? PC goal? Interview? Or just another article of clothing? Who knows at this point. The drama surrounding it would be more interesting than the "event" itself.
 
Phil will get drunk on gin and keep pay pigging his audience.

Derich will continue to groom minors on Twitter.

Kat will still be nowhere to be seen and Jenna will eventually come back to social media to continue to spiral further downward into delusion and schizophrenia.

Kiwi Farms will continue to go under tranny siege making loading times when getting the current happenings in the DSPverse, super throttled.

The developers of WWE Champions will continue to make more money off of Phil’s audience.

Jasper will still not have his claws.
 
prediction:
phil starts a stream on time, seems very tense, but says everything is okay. in fact he insists that nothing is wrong, and that he's just so excited to start playing he's going to skip the level one podcast
goodbye horses plays in the back while an unknown voice says "would you whale me? i would whale me. i would whale me hard!"
 
Overall, this is gonna be another pretty boring year with not much happening. His content is gonna keep being the same boring trash made to waste people's time, retards are gonna keep giving him money for the single fact he exists and he's gonna keep pissing away copious amounts of money with stupid shit. He's been hyping new ideas; new content, but we know it's gonna be just more recycled ideas either from him or another person, so there isn't really anything -for anyone- to look forward this year. The only thing that might make this year interesting is some troll going full a-log on his ass, but I doubt this is gonna happen.

So yeah, just to summarize what's very likely gonna to happen this year:
-- More of the same.
-- Everyone who dares to watch his shit is gonna be bored off their minds.
-- No green screen.
 
Phil has been priming his audience for a long time to expect him to start shifting away from gaming content and I think this is the year he starts to enact that plan. This summer, as he does his traditional yearly complaint about there being no hot new releases because game developers are idiots and all release their games at the same time, he will start dedicating one stream a week to something other than gaming. I am betting on news recaps and it will have a stupid and generic name like "Monday news with DSP!" If this is anything other than a complete disaster, he will tout it as a massive success and continue to do everything in his power to play games less often.

Everything else about Phil's content will be exactly the same. There will be no new PC, no greenscreen, no medical drama, and definitely no interview.
 
Phil has been priming his audience for a long time to expect him to start shifting away from gaming content and I think this is the year he starts to enact that plan. This summer, as he does his traditional yearly complaint about there being no hot new releases because game developers are idiots and all release their games at the same time, he will start dedicating one stream a week to something other than gaming. I am betting on news recaps and it will have a stupid and generic name like "Monday news with DSP!" If this is anything other than a complete disaster, he will tout it as a massive success and continue to do everything in his power to play games less often.

Everything else about Phil's content will be exactly the same. There will be no new PC, no greenscreen, no medical drama, and definitely no interview.
I genuinely thought this was what the dead capture card was supposed to be, laying the groundwork to be a 'just chatting' streamer.

So uhhh these last few days have benn uh, really good and pahsitive. I was thinking maybe we don't even need the capture card ack ack ack! My community is so supportive and like my my uhhh content as a personality streamer that I think we could uhh do whole streams of just that from now on moving forward, sound good? Fair enough? Alright. *SNORT*

No idiot not every day, only some days and then see how we feel about it! Jeeze you're dumb.
 
Hmm let's see.
>Defending Netflix for what can be described as official pedophile porn? Check.
>Crying about being poor yet buying an Xbox Series S? Check.
>Exposed for scam giveaways and a Patreon that works almost like a scam? Check.
You get the picture but let's see what 2023 already has in store.

>40% decline in support after his streams last night
Looks like this year's gonna be a great year to harvest more milk from this cow.
 
These are pretty outlandish but knowing the pigroach, they will waddle onwards and even stave off death and oblivion with the eternal beg streams. Dont know the current state of schrodinger’s khet, better known as “muh wife” according to Phail.

1. Phil gets banned for viewbotting on youtube and moves back to twitch. The cycle starts anew.
2. Jasper gets rescued by an actual family.
3. Khet makes another confirmed appearance or its confirmed she left years ago.
4. Phail’s jaundice gets so bad even his dents start calling him on it.
 
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