Predictions for DSP in 2023

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I'll add one more: another major clapback from someone bigger and more successful than him.
 
Nothing.
I got into a phil at the start of the new year last year when the second general closed and I can't think of anything that really changed the gout sphere only thing I can think of was the keem star and king of hate.

2023 will be a year of nothing and yet I still check in regularly. (:_(
 
He has said multiple times (more so last year compared to any other) that he has a bunch of health issues "that you don't need to know about", if he is indeed telling the truth (big doubt) it would explain why he has all these mysterious appointments on his days ahhff that he talks about.

I wouldn't say we're going to go through a health crisis arc or a health scare begathon, but he will probably bring up the fact that he has health problems more often to plant the seeds in his viewers minds that he can't or won't stream games specifically that much because of his health, maybe not right away but It will happen at some point, his excuses will be along the lines of carpal tunnel and arthritis (the same thing really), possibly gout (because Phil genuinely believes that some naturopathy treatment of cherry juice keeps it from flaring up) or his slow reflexes due to some disorder/disease (that he would use to play less demanding/easier games, which he seems to be doing sporadically already).
 
As much as I would love to see Phil's health start to wane and reality start to kick him in his gouty ass, I highly doubt it something is going to happen to Dave. However, what I do see is this: he's gonna try to pick a fight with someone on Twitter to gain pity a la a repeat when he called major Twitch streamers "shills" and when those SAME streamers BODIED Dave, he screamed "mUh dEpReSsIoN!", however, everyone avoids him like a bad ex. Once that doesn't work, he'll claim that he's going through some other bullshit "But I can't tell you, as that'll be doxxing." but it's a nothingburger.

So basically, the same shit. Unless it's another Kat sighting or something the detractors dig up and Phil has to go "silent mode" on the subject. Which is funny, as you can tell when it's the truth when Phil goes "Avoid it", just like when someone brought up the Kat sighting in his chat, he basically went silent on the whole thing and it's never brought up again. Or, he has a "emergency stream" but he can't tell us what it's for, but the detractors find out his parents actually died and he has to waddle back to CT to get his inheritance check, some dent finds, tells Phil that he feels "sorry for his parents actually dying", he goes into a full tangent, bans the dent for "being an idiot", it becomes "too big to ignore", and comes back to CT richer behind the scenes richer, but can't tell that to the dents, as he needs those six star Hogan's. Yeah, he just got a six figure check, but he needs YOUR money.

As the old saying goes, it's always fun on the dark side of the internet.
 
Predictions for Philip Paul Burnell in 2023

Most likley
1. Health issues becoming more evident.
2. Beg tweets becoming a more normal and recurrent thing

Unlikley
1. Divorce
2. He finally admiting his WWE spendings

Hopefully
1. Suicide
2. Jenna taking care of the pedophile
 
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1. Beg
2. Pretend not to beg
3. Spend tens of thousands on WWE mobile games
4. Pretend to be broke
5. Complain about non-existent lag
6. Mention his business-level internet he pays $300 a month for
7. Bitch about a company like a Karen and demand some restitution for an imagined slight
8. Complain about non-existent bugs
9. Compare a slightly difficult game to Dark Souls
10. Ragequit a game
11. Get baited by Snowkarl
12. Accidentally call Jasper "Derich"
13. "React" to another famous detractor video
14. Complain about an in-game camera
15. Grandstand about something "offensive" and talk about how he went through a period of growth after he made similar jokes
 
1. Beg
2. Pretend not to beg
3. Spend tens of thousands on WWE mobile games
4. Pretend to be broke
5. Complain about non-existent lag
6. Mention his business-level internet he pays $300 a month for
7. Bitch about a company like a Karen and demand some restitution for an imagined slight
8. Complain about non-existent bugs
9. Compare a slightly difficult game to Dark Souls
10. Ragequit a game
11. Get baited by Snowkarl
12. Accidentally call Jasper "Derich"
13. "React" to another famous detractor video
14. Complain about an in-game camera
15. Grandstand about something "offensive" and talk about how he went through a period of growth after he made similar jokes
Him doing #15 while looking dead eyed in front of the camera is the one optimistic thing that I can expect to come from that list. What’s funny is that I thought he already did #4 multiple amount of times.
 
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