Predictions for DSP in 2024

[RIPRhongoBongo]

Phil's new channel idea will get whaled for the first week, then die faster than DSP Ree-ACKS

 

[FamicomGorby]

In desperation for views DSP will drop multiple slurs on stream starting with nigger. He'll try to pass this off as "taking them back from da trollz".

 

[BlastMonk]

Prediction 1: DSP will have a yearly decrease of income of at least 10% compared to this years, which is nearly 20% lower than last years. This will lead to more lies like the washing machine breaking, vaccum breaking etc to justify trying to get more money faster.
Prediction 2: DSP will have some sort of stroke/seizure on camera.

 

[Love Is Blue]

some sort of stroke

 

[Whaler]

I'm going to play it safe and assume we'll either get another interview, he'll better curate who does it and it will turn into nothing like his Quaterpounder interview, and we'll get another attempt at trying to go viral by starting shit with another streamer like he did with LTG who will destroy him with a few tweets leading to Phil to mention how he isn't a "dramastreamer" and he isn't going to mention the drama but then he'll spend 30 to 40 minutes a day for about two weeks complaining about the drama and how he just wants people to live him alone.

 

[Preferred Penne]

Khet accidentally pours orange juice in her cereal and Phil spends a minimum of five minutes mocking her about it on the prestream.

 

[You see??]

Phil will reveal that he has Diabetes or a fatty liver.

 

[Corpun]

Quitting Street Fighter 6 in late January or Early February, most likely quietly removing it from rotation or if he is really salty, a very angry rage quit

Some sort of car issue in the middle of the year, either rehashing his dumbass wheel story or the engine fucked up dood!

Feigning a health crisis because he is a hypochondriac that either he or his wife has and we spend 50 pages debating over only to find out it was the sniffles

Phil doing one of his dumb gayops where he pretends he was planning to own the detractors the entire time

Someone on Sidescrollers fucks up bad in some fashion like the ProJared situation and Phil spends the next couple months shitting on them to feed his ego, and once the dust settles and it was all a nothing burger he won't apologize (Especially if it is Chadam, who it will most likely be given his political takes).

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

2024 Predictions:

1)He'll get a brand new PC

2)We'll get a disaster "Windows 10 sucks dood" stream

3)He will not play PC games aside from whatever old/Indie games he can run on the mini PC.

4)We'll get a "I have diabetus" stream and he'll spend a ton of time every precumcast talking about it.

5)I don't think he'll go full "DSPolitics" this year. I think it'll be him pivoting DSP Reacts into more "commenraty style" longform style content.

 

[Negative Toxic Loser]

Phil will get a new computer, whether one he purchases or from a.n anonymous dent. He will declare the computer a lemon within 2 months.

1) Phil will get a new computer from a whale/long-time supporter.

Oh, great. Two of the head mates are in agreement. Looks like Dave is getting a new PC! I hope the third head mate enjoys being IT support for the rest of their life.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I'll follow the format from last year's thread

TOP 3:

1. Phil will get a gayming PC, he will end up playing less than a half dozen games on it in 2024.
2. He will ragequit SF6 somewhere in the year and it'll get the same retcon SFV got, also Tekken 8 will be ragequit in less than 3 online streams (that's how many he did in 7 before he RQ), I'll go full balls to the wall and just say that he'll RQ Tekken 8 after the first online stream.
3. He'll get food poisoning from some of the slop he Doordashes, bonus points if it's slop that he bought for Feeding with the Pig.

LESS LIKELY:

1. If he plays Street Fighter 6 on PC he will do some fuckery, like run auto throwbreak, auto DI and/or other cheating scripts. Narcissists always project and he accuses every PC player of running scripts or cheating in some other nebulous way. He will use that as proof that PC has an advantage (See? I can break every throw now!) Also before I hear someone say that it's too complex for him to do, I played a bunch of Tekken 7 online and every Aleksei from Moscow, Pajeet from Calcutta and Eduardo from Sao Paolo ran cheating scripts, if third world monkeys can figure them out Phail can too.
2. The Joon the King documentary will come out and it won't be the fluff job Phail thinks, with Joon just stringing him along just like how the Sidescrollers did before the interview. It probably won't be anything better than the Turkey Tom documentary though, with the only thing Phil would consider "pahsitive" being a section spotlighting the most deranged detractors just like what Turkey Tom did.
3. Full on mental breakdown on stream.

OUTLANDISH:

1. Phil will transition into a beautiful, brave and stunning transwoman.
2. Phil will convert to Islam.
3. Khet sighting on stream.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

every Aleksei from Moscow, Pajeet from Calcutta and Eduardo from Sao Paolo ran cheating scripts, if third world monkeys can figure them out Phail can too.

I admire your optimism and faith you have in Phil. IF this were to happen it would have to be done by one (of such exists) of the not quite so retarded dicksuckers that are in his discord, and even then Phil will find a way to fuck it up.

3. He'll get food poisoning from some of the slop he Doordashes, bonus points if it's slop that he bought for Feeding with the Pig.

I'm surprised this haven't happened yet. This would be great, we will be getting the mother(s) of all DoorDash rants putting every other rant he has ever done about the slop he get driven to his midlle unit condo to shame.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

and even then Phil will find a way to fuck it up.

I hate to do a prediction on one of my predictions but the way he'd fuck that one up is by never turning the script program off even when he's not about to play SF6, so it'd be caught on stream whenever he'd show his desktop. Also, the program would come prepackaged with a crypto miner so he'll cry about his GPU always being at 100% and say "this is why PC gaming is dying guise" all the while some Russian dude is over the moon with how much BTC piggy is making him.

 

[Cadoster]

This year was so eventful. I worry 2024 will seem like a disappointment.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I'm going to go against the grain with my PC guess. I think Phil will continue to hint at wanting one and get offers from some of his dedicated paypigs, but he'll ultimately back out/turn it down because of his fear of learning a new version of Windows, probably leading to some angry rant about how PC gaming has been dead for years and consoles are so much better.

Phil will ban OIC in chat when OIC continues to ramble on about trans stuff and it completely derails chat. OIC will come here to go through his breakup phase with Phil and less than a month later buy an unban from Phil.

Some troll will poorly try to catfish Phil, make a big deal about it here/in detractor circles to build up hype, then release a few nothingburger email exchanges with Phil where they were just posing as a generic fan and Phil responded with equally generic responses.

I'll offer a spin on the street fighter 6 ones. Phil will eventually rage quit it and treat it just like he did street fighter five, but he'll continue to do whatever he calls his street fighter friday things with a return to his precious street fighter 2. He'll still get his shit pushed in as badly as you'd expect.

This one is almost a gimme, so I'll try and be a little more specific. Phil will rage quit BG3, but he'll surprise us by making it into Act 2. It won't be one of the big boss fights that makes him quit, but getting ambushed by the twig blights or killing himself via shadowcurse.

Phil will stumble into a romance with a male character in some game, get insecure about it, and go on a Last of Us 2 style rant that he brings up at various points throughout the year.

Phil will resort to another closet cleaning stream that is basically an exact repeat of his previous one.

And this one is a total wild card that, while I think will eventually happen, probably won't be this year. Phil goes back to Twitch after getting on trouble for YouTube for something, probably for something that's ultimately small and was perfectly avoidable, but he freaks out about it and stubbornly goes back to Twitch. Spends the first few weeks praising Twitch and shitting on YouTube.

 

[Balr0g]

1. Phil will make his DSPolitics channel and start by saying "The trans ideology has taken over and must be stopped!" leading to OIC running away and never coming back cutting deep into Phil's pockets
2. Phil will rq Tekken 8 after 1-2 months running back to SF 6 and he will again complain about lagg, "mash jab" and "PC is unfair" while getting beaten by more detractrors then just PoP
3. Mutahar will release his own documentary he has been teasing this year and it will contain the most egregious begging clips from Phil sending Phil in a 1 hour lontg tirade which will trend all over Social Media
4. The most secure prediction: a Joon the King documentary will drop and Phil will call it "the most fair and balanced piece I have ever seen" Not long after the detractors will tear it apart and rerelease it with "out of khantext clips"
5. Finally gets his new PC and will run back to console games fast after realizing that Pc's need a lot of care to run games optimum. New business idea: DSPSETUP where he streams himself setting up PC games with the most optimal settings only to be ridiculed by the whole Pc community
6. New viral TikTok videos with VTubers mocking him playing Game X in the most retarded way possible
7. Jasper will shit onm Phil's chair while on stream
8. Wage quitting DSPClassic after a few months because no one wants the buy in (or rather getting no monetization for said channel unless he can reactivates KOGaming which still has the subcount6 for that)
9. Phil will survive a couple of other old legends or known Youtubers and will make their downfall all about himself

 

[Freebird]

1. DSP will drop below 60k
2. DSP will not get a new PC
3. DSP will not create a DSPolitics channel
4. DSP will not lose his house
5. Khet won't leave him
6. DSP will be affected by some very obvious ailment but because he will never get it diagnosed so he will officially still be healthy. However, he will still complain about it (I'm not counting his "carpal tunnel" or post-nasal drip in this)
7. DSP will cry on prestream because he's mentally broken.

 

[Fapcop]

K, let’s see…

THE SAFE PREDICTIONS:

1: Phil’s yearly income will continue its 10-20% decline. That has been the rule for the last couple of years, and I don’t see that changing.

2: Phil will have a liquidity crisis. “Guys, X has broken, I NEEED money to fix Y!” Phil has apparently been dipping into credit cards again for his whaling. I expect the interest free period to end sometime next year, leading to Phil spazzing out in order to repay it.

THE 50/50 PREDICTIONS:

1: Phil will get a gaming PeeCee. This depends on how much he will beg the whales/dents for one, which again depends on whether Phil will notice his income dropping. I could totally see Phil decide that a GAMING PEECEE will turn it all around. Wouldn’t be surprised if this happen to coincide with a liquidity crisis. Phil begs for a 3000$ “gaming machine” and purchases a 1000$ HP Omen, putting the rest of his cash towards credit cards.

2: Phil starts a talk show/political channel. Honestly, I could see him just make a special podcast one day of the week. Starting a whole new channel sounds like work, and that is Phil’s kryptonite.

WILDCARD PREDICTIONS:

1: Phil will troon out. Phil decides to join the people of gender, in a last ditch attempt to stay relevant/earn money. Either that or he will have a gin-related psychotic break one night and realize he’s really a woman.
(Either way, expect the lowest effort troon out ever. Fill will put on some nail polish and call it a day.

“No Derich, I am NOT getting gender reassignment surgery! Tuh-heh-heh… I don’t know where you guys get these things from. If I ever have surgery, trust me you’ll hear it from MEE!”

2: The horse bolts for freedom/Khat divorce arc. This would be the most lulzy thing since “SAVE THE HOUSE!” Imagine Phil sweating buckets and panicking because he ACTUALLY needs to call lawyers.

 

[Rick&Bender]

DSP will owe additional $19k+ for fiscal year 2023 on his tax payment plan (putting it on more credit cards at 32% APR), and he will continue to descend into another unsecured debt bankruptcy, as soon as he is eligible. He won't be able to take any equity out of his house rather through a HELOC or refinance, as his income will continue to decline month over month. Specious Kat sightings will be involved in 2024 and Jasper will scratch DSP again.

PS: DSP will still need your buy-in, so pony up.

 

[Colloid]

The condo's foundation or some other essential infrastructure will need emergency repairs due to a lack of basic maintenance over the years.