Pregnancy - General discussion on getting pregnant and being pregnant

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Claude Sigma

Claude Sigma

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 6, 2021
My wife and I are currently trying to have children, and I'm currently entering this world that I know very little about.
Strangely enough, spending years talking to autistic and love-deprived manchildren on the Internet never prepared me for that adventure.

I'd like to take things one step at a time and I realize that I don't know anything about pregnancy and what should or should not be done.


I don't even know where to look, I don't trust to just follow blindly whatever the first page of google would tell me, or what a pamphlet from my government would encourage me to do.
Is there a point in trying to aim at ovulating periods to increase your chances of getting prenant, or is having frequent sex just good enough?
Is there anything worthwhile in terms of medication, practice, or habit that would safely increase the likelihood of getting pregnant?
Once my wife is pregnant, what should change? Should she change her diet? Should she still be physically active? Up to when?
During pregnancy, which medical procedure should be done, which should be avoided?
What other crucial thing am I not thinking about?


Long story short, what are the tips, tricks, and redpills concerning getting pregnant, being pregnant, what did you wish you knew when you first went through it, what do you regret, what went well, what would you do differently?
What ressources should I use and what places should I go to learn more on the topic without having to either trust the government and big pharma, or trust facebook groups of women that only trust crystals and urine therapy?

I know that caring for a newborn/infant and taking all the decisions associated with it are a whole another can of worms, but I'll worry about it when the time comes.
Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
 
Once my wife is pregnant, what should change? Should she change her diet?
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I know this is probably a conflict of interest given the lifeblood our beloved forum exists on, but if your wife drinks alcohol at all she should stop, starting from now until after the kid is born.
 
1. Your wife's tastes will most likely change. If you cook at home be prepared to be quick on your feet. If you do takeout, good luck broseph. Your better 3/4ths might demand taco bell with ranch sauce at 2am in the morning, and nothing else will do.

2. Yoga is the tits for keeping active. And you want her to keep active. Bored pregnant women are miserable pregnant women.

3. Don't get your medical advice from kiwifarms.

4. Find a well-recommended midwife* regardless of whatever delivery method you end up choosing. Interview her. Find out what hospital she has connections to, and make sure that's the one you're ok with using for delivery, or is the one you're already going through. The cost is well worth it for the moral support alone, and they can cut through a lot of bullshit. I have seen them all but slap hospital personnel with a stack of patient paperwork during a 2am transfer when a baby just isn't feeling like coming out the normal way. Remember, having a midwife, doesn't mean you won't end up delivering whichever way you want to deliver, but your wife will have a supportive female perspective on the whole thing, and that's something that you as a penis-having husband just can't fucking provide. If you decide to go the hospital route, a good midwife will be able to guide you through everything and help you make informed medical decisions when the frankly terrifying time comes.

5. As has been said, wifey better be cutting the drinking.

6. Since you're posting on kiwifarms,. you're probably an out of shape fuck, YOU getting into shape is helpful for her getting preggers to. Try out a healthy diet, maybe some exercise, you fucking lardass.

7. Getting preggers is a marathon, not a sprint. Be prepared for literal months of fucking, but don't be surprised when you're posting here in a week freaking out about the positive pregnancy test result.

8. First four months are generally whatever.

9. Pregnant women are not made out of thin glass. Let them have their fun. I've seen 4-month pregnant chicks ride motorcycles, because fuck you, that's why.

*if you are in burgerland, most states have varying degrees of midwife licensure, but my recommendation is to find whoever midwifes for your local hardcore fundie community. Preferably to the amish or the mennonites if you have any locally.
 
Chickin BBQ said:
if you are in burgerland, most states have varying degrees of midwife licensure, but my recommendation is to find whoever midwifes for your local hardcore fundie community. Preferably to the amish or the mennonites if you have any locally.
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I disagree with the ultra fundies because they're the kind that will tell you to not seek medical help when you absolutely should. See the tard baby general for examples. I believe Luna is one.

Ideally you want to select a midwife who mixes homeopathy with science, someone who is supportive of your plans but also can intervene if something needs to be addressed.

The real period of time a woman needs the medical and literal support is the postpartum period, and anywhere up to three years after birth. In Asia they practice confinement, and they have significantly lower rates of PPD/PPA/PPP because the confinement period focuses on the most important aspects of motherhood: postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, learning to care for the baby and bonding between mother and child. I would absolutely recommend investing in this as opposed to doulas and all the other shit people say help with birth. The postpartum period is easily the most neglected in western society and it is also why infanticide and maternal suicide rates continue to climb. You could have a perfectly normal and happy wife who goes full psychopath due to the sudden hormone changes and a lack of support with a new baby.

Confinement isn't a perfect practice, as there can be some pretty crunchy shit like only bathing in specific water, wearing warm clothes and eating warm foods but the concept is actually rock solid. You don't need to worry about getting pregnant and the pregnancy unless you're directly having issues conceiving. Cut back on alcohol, both of you get in shape, she should start taking a prenatal vitamin sooner rather than later, and if casual attempts don't stick start charting ovulation. If charting ovulation doesn't work that's when you can start looking into fertility options. MTHFR gene issues are primarily the cause of female infertility, men's fertility is almost entirely lifestyle related unless its genetic but even genetics aren't solid.

If you and her are above 35, you may want to look into genetic testing. But if not, I wouldn't be super worried unless there's specifically something you're wanting answers on. Otherwise don't fuck with that, they're just trying to nickel and dime you.
Group B strep test and the glucose test are essential, anatomy scan at 20 weeks is also essential. You don't really need birthing classes unless she's gung-ho about the natural birth thing, epidurals aren't bad.

With the exception of Tums, mucinex, and maaaaybe benadryl (or generics) stay away from anything OTC. They say Tylenol is fine, it isn't unless you reeeeally need it. They say Zofran is fine, it isn't in any circumstance. Find another nausea med, preferably something natural like ginger or peppermints. Pickled ginger or ginger ale is the best for nausea. For the most part try to avoid most common drugs. They will fuck your kid up.

This might be a shitpost, but that's the best advice I can give for this.
 
Getting pregnant: Come inside the vagina whenever possible. It's a numbers game, a single creampie doesn't guarantee success, you need to plant multiple seeds.

Being pregnant: First few months will be rough on her (pregnancy nausea etc), then it'll level out, then it'll get rough again close to birth (acid reflux etc). Help out where you can, housework, shopping etc. There's maternity yoga on youtube that my wife recommends for keeping active safely. As for nutrition, folic acid is a highly recommended supplement to take for fetus health, and it can be taken before shes even pregnant.
Go to baby screenings / check ups with your wife if you can. 1) Because it's pretty cool to see all the ultrasounds and stuff, and 2) So you know she isn't getting handed off to the Pajeet who thinks being born on a full moon is bad for a baby's health (or whatever the fuck nonsense they believe).

Do not let her drink alcohol unless you want a Greta Thunberg looking goblin.

There is always a chance your baby will be born with Downs Syndrome. This is determined at conception. The chance increases with age, but it is never zero. There are tests to determine if the baby has it, but they vary in price/safety/accuracy rates. There isn't really much you can do about this except understand it is a slight possibility. As for medical procedures, again as long as you aren't stuck with the third world "doctor" imported to fufill diversity quotas, just go with what the doctor recommends.

Don't tell friends/coworkers you're pregnant until you're in the safe zone (second trimester I think). I can't imagine how much it would suck to tell a bunch of people you're having a baby, only to tell them a couple of weeks later that it miscarriaged.
 
If you're still trying to conceive its best if you are both as healthy as possible. While the woman has the lion's share of having to keep healthy during the actual pregnancy, sperm quantity and quality absolutely will decrease with things like obesity, chronic alcoholism, or even just overcooking your boys. If you don't already, you'll want to switch from briefs to boxers.

If you're both healthy and having frequent sex aiming for ovulation windows shouldn't really be too much of an issue. You can absolutely get pregnant outside of an ovulation window, its just a less likely chance, as good sperm can last about five days and you need it to be there when an egg is ready to be fertilized, which only tend to be viable for about a single day. But if you want to aim specifically there's several apps and calendars that can be used to track it and I know a few are also built into period tracker apps. I think its about seven days after a period ends is where you start to get back into the fertility range.

She'll also want to go over the things she commonly consumes to see if they're still okay while pregnant, anything that could potentially put stress on her body that she could usually shake off might be harder to do.

Mumsnet is a resource you may want to look into. They've got parenting and pregnancy articles and tend to stay away from the woo and gender shit.
 
The main thing with giving birth and having children is just going in with an open mind and willingness to be flexible.

Most hospitals have a “baby 101” class that covers the basics of what to expect during the labor and postpartum. Honestly the book ‘What to expect when you’re expecting’ still holds up.

The most important thing I’ve found so far is:
Set up a support system for after the birth. Have frozen meals, have a plan for people to bring you food, have snacks on hand, etc. (seriously do not let your wife go grocery shopping a week after giving birth)
Depending on what kind of birth your wife has, she’ll need 4-6 weeks of healing. Let her heal. It’s hard to focus on a baby when you’re in constant fucking pain and they only give you so many pain meds.

Best of luck to you man it’s an amazing experience I hope you can enjoy.
 
If your wife is over the age of 16 then she's considered geriatric for the purposes of procreation and you should trade her in for a younger model ASAP or risk an approximately 99.7% chance of having a retarded garbage baby with cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, muscular dystrophy, a cleft palate, cystic fibrosis, sickle cell anemia, and every other medical condition that I am familiar with and know how to spell.
 
I think it's a good idea to have a pregnancy/conception general. It's my due date today (January 1st) so I can attest to the advice you're being given here, especially in regards to food.

Once a baby sticks, you'll find that her food intake will either increase a ton, decrease to nothing, or be a bizarre and difficult-to-placate struggle for the first two trimesters. In my personal experience, I couldn't eat the same thing twice in a row and it was very frustrating. Any dish I made was vile to me the next day. I spent way too much money on DoorDash and restaurants because hunger would hit me like a truck and I needed the food prepared for me. I could hardly look at raw meat or chop vegetables. Cooking for her or ordering out will mitigate that kitchen-revulsion that a lot of pregnant women get.

Thankfully, I was not one of those women who vomited during the pregnancy or was otherwise too sick to function, but she's bound to have new aches and pains that neither of you could've predicted. I'm rapidly losing my mobility due to a screwy pelvis. I had no idea that was a thing pregnancy could do and it's fairly common. Expect her to have not-so-documented pains as well. I've had an infuriating upper-back pain for months that is worsened by sitting (there's very little info about it online) so, even relaxing for pregnant women can be hard. Buying her a nice heating pad or massage chair in advance will curb some of the bitching and moaning. Offer massages when she's feeling achy and heavy.

She will be startled by the changes to her body. Try not to begrudge her too much for calling herself fat, hideous, lamenting stretchmarks, hair loss, hair gain, etc. It's jarring to see your body change so drastically.

Most importantly, just love her and take care of her. It's all worth it for the baby. You're right, everyone talks about the newborn stage but the pregnancy itself should be given great focus too. Stress is no good for pregnant women and having a loving father-to-be at her side cuts all of the stress in half. It might sound corny, but if you're already contemplating this part you're going to do a fantastic job. A lot of men (and women) are content going into this dramatic stage completely blind. You're better off being prepared so you can better support her.
 
As far as getting her pregnant in the first place, that's a team effort. While much of the fun of "trying for a baby" is copious amounts of sex. The reality is that most of her cycle is an infertile period, so enjoy it as such. I'll recommend a book on the subject, it also has other information for your woman as well:
https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0062326031
You can also find it on the LibGen piracy site.
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As for the pregnancy itself.

She should stay fit (and you do to, but that is unrelated). Eating for two is a myth, 250 calories extra for most of the pregnancy, 500 towards the very end. Most women should target around 25lb of weight gain by the end of pregnancy. If she is quite overweight, merely maintain weight. I can't stress enough about the physical fitness, it's one of the few things we can control, and it reduces complications massively.

Make sure she takes her prenatal vitamins. No really, double check to make sure she it getting them.
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Start getting involved in community parent groups (like with a church group) once she is past the first few weeks of pregnancy. She will likely want to be able to gossip and complain with other new mothers, and you will likely want to do the same with new fathers.
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You will likely want to start speaking with your wife early on, on how she wants to handle medical screening and ultimately the birth itself. You really don't have to have screening/scans every week unless she is specifically high risk. I second the advice on finding a good regional midwife.

As for the birth, this will be her first, it'll take a while, don't worry. Your midwife should be able to fill you in more. Home-birth is an option, in many cases it is the far more comfortable one, and that matters.
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Best for last, something that you won't hear often.

Post-partum/birth, spend time with your wife. Alone. Preferably with physical contact. Many new parents spend so much time focused on their young one that they forget each other. Do this often, at least every other day. Even if it is just napping while holding hands. Getting back in shape physically is important, but maintaining and growing your relationship is just as important.
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Postscript: being a new parent is a new challenge, and occasionally frustrating, but it's worth it. It's also nowhere near as impossible as possible as people make it out to be. As someone who has raised a full brood and then some, I can say it gets easier with every kid. They keep each other entertained, and hand-me-downs are free.

I'ms sure I am missing shit, but that's the top tips.
 
Dumb Bitch Smoothie said:
Ideally you want to select a midwife who mixes homeopathy with science,
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Don’t do this. Homeopathy is pure bullshit, even among alternative medicine. Naturopathy and stuff is harmless, but homeopathy is selling you water with imbued “magical resonance”, even less validity than hiring a shaman or something.

Make sure that your midwife isn’t suggesting crystals over an ultrasound.
 
Chickin BBQ said:
1. Your wife's tastes will most likely change. If you cook at home be prepared to be quick on your feet. If you do takeout, good luck broseph. Your better 3/4ths might demand taco bell with ranch sauce at 2am in the morning, and nothing else will do.
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What is it with Taco Bell anyway? I seem to recall my mom saying she had that quite a bit when she had me and even after that that was her and my sister's go to place for the longest time. I met a pregnant woman years back who also joked about how Taco Bell puts stuff in their food that attracts pregnant women.
 
Overcast said:
What is it with Taco Bell anyway? I seem to recall my mom saying she had that quite a bit when she had me and even after that that was her and my sister's go to place for the longest time. I met a pregnant woman years back who also joked about how Taco Bell puts stuff in their food that attracts pregnant women.
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Mixing oatmeal into the ground beef to stretch it may be just a shrewd business decision, but upon reflection, it does sound like a hell of a pregnancy craving
 
If/when she gets pregnant attend a birth class. It may not seem helpful, but it very easily can save you thousands of dollar in (potentially) unnecessary and painful interventions, and will give you a better frame of reference for what is going on and what can happen. You're a guy, you haven't been researching this shit since age 7, knowing what exactly is happening will be helpful and she will appreciate it.
 
One piece of advice is relax and don't stress out about the procreation process, odds are if you're both healthy she'll be pregnant by the end of the year, if you have regular sex, but stress can and will interfere with the whole getting pregnant thing and can harm the baby long term. If you find yourself getting stressed out remember people have been getting pregnant and successfully delivering babies for 2 million years so you can do this.
 
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