Punk band Private Function release record that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina - This isn’t the first controversial vinyl released by the band as in In 2022, they released 370HSSV 0773H, which was issued as a liquid disc with the band’s urine inside.

Australian punk outfit Private Function have released a special edition of their latest record, which they say “smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina.”

The band announced the pressing on Instagram, where member Lauren Hester is seen in a lab holding the manufactured, pink vinyl. “I want you to cast your mind back to the fabulous year of 2020,” Hester commands.

“There was one news story that completely dominated the headlines: Gwyneth Paltrow released a candle that smelt like her vagina. This was potentially the greatest thing anyone had ever done,” she says coyly.

Hester explains that these candles now sell for over $700 each. The band “decided to take things into their own hands” and created the first scratch-and-sniff vinyl. Claiming that the tall order of almost a thousand dollars to smell the candle is “classist,” Hester continued: “We at Private Function think that every working-class person deserves to have access to the smell 24 hours a day.”

The record is called their ‘Goopy’ variant, as Paltrow originally teamed up with the brand ‘Goop’ for the creation. This isn’t the first controversial vinyl released by the band. In 2022, they released 370HSSV 0773H, which was issued as a liquid disc with the band’s urine inside. Previous to that, in 2020 they released Whose Line Is It Anyway?, which was pressed as a limited edition wich featured bags of white powder inside the record.

Amazingly, the band have almost predicted Paltrow’s exact stance on her candle in the video. On May 18th, the actress again defended her product, explaining that it started off as a joke. Speaking at the Manifesting Summot, she stated: “We were messing around with different scents one day and I smelled something and I was like ‘Oh, that smells like…you know…’”

The actor talked of how it was quickly uploaded to the site: “But I kept it on the site because there is an aspect to women’s sexuality that I think we’re socialised to feel a lot of shame, and I sort of loved this punk rock idea. We are beautiful and we are awesome and go fuck yourself.” Private Function have certainly capitalised on the “punk” sensibility of the cultural phenomenon.



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[Caligura]

Australians can't say the n-word anymore so they have to resort to this to still project the image of crazy bogans.

 

[Rogue AI]

I hope this turns into some ridiculous copyright battle and Paltrow sues them for stealing her vagina scent.

 

[Yamaha YM2612]

Why are punk bands so cringe all the time. This is the most normie shit

 

[BobbyBriggs69420]

Any kind of performative "very punk" action has already been done decades ago, and in attempting a what they think is a new one that'll really freak out the xtians and parents, these commercial faggots are doing the equivalent of giving away a free month trial of prime with their record. Except it's Family Dollar Prime.

Meanwhile the old timey sailors have an actual slavery arrest on their resumè.

 

[kcbbq]

Why are punk bands so cringe all the time. This is the most normie shit

You don't understand. Punk is about rules, and they had to run it through all the various necessary committees to make sure it didnt violate any of them. This causing the joke to be 5 years too late to matter is a feature, not a bug.

 

[The Token Ethnic]

Oh it's because some feminist punk band from Australia saw some mentions on X and Instagram and decided to "cash in" on pussy smelling items

I'm not up to date with Australian punk, but I confused this band for Amyl and the Sniffers. The last Aussie punk band I knew of was Frenzal Rhomb. Talk about a dated meme/reference.

 

[Mmemes]

I'm not up to date with Australian punk, but I confused this band for Amyl and the Sniffers. The last Aussie punk band I knew of was Frenzal Rhomb. Talk about a dated meme/reference.

Amyl and the Sniffers were just at this year's lineup for Coachella and if I'm being honest that'd be of the only few bands I'd see. Never heard of these guys and there's probably a reason for that. Lol

 

[Otterly]

I used to love buying vinyl that was cute colours or had sprinkles in it. This… this is not better

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

Wouldn't scratching the record fuck up the tracks?

 

[browserbowser]

The problem with being purely reactionary is that eventually you end up being the lame-ass faggot who parrots the establishment.

Because you're just a witless tool.

 

[BulkForceFive]

at last someone did a real-life version of one of those 'imagine the smell' shitposts!

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I like the vocals. I enjoy stuff like grindcore and black metal, though. The instrumentation sucks.

 

[Clotso Coof]

So it smells like Harvey Weinstein's STD infected penis?

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

Having seen them perform I can see why. Tranny alert!

https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1069189121699777&id=100058260960902

You're right. Chris Penny is the lead vocalist and that's a video of the idiot smashing a bottle of his head. It might just be "art" though. Australian government does love trannies though. I'm guessing a piece of glass was lodged in his skull and turned him trans.

So it smells like all the STD ridden whore pussy Harvey Weinstein's penis "took advantage of"?

FTFY

 

[Rick The Stick]

I bet her pussy smells bad

 

[CharlesBarkley]

“Ok. The vagina album sold well, but we need something more punk for the next one.”

“… Hmmm… what if we bottled the fecal matter from Portland hobos and smeared it all over?”

“Too boring.”

> Band releases new album called “The Drunk Pajeet with IBS”

 

[PhoBingas]

Yeah did I fall into some wormhole and go back in time to the late 2010s? How is it 2025 and we're still mentioning Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP shit? Oh it's because some feminist punk band from Australia saw some mentions on X and Instagram and decided to "cash in" on pussy smelling items because poor Gwyn is trying to stay relevant cause no Weinstein to molest her, gotcha. Also you know the band is so punk when they already have a girl in the group but they needed a tranny lead singer just because you transophobic chuds. Great carry on this will age well I'm sure. Also why is feminism always about dunking on other women anyways?

Because Feminism is hating men, and also hating women both more attractive and less attractive than you! Don't forget hating women both more and less successful than yourself as well!

 

[BradeRunna]

Punk went from this.

To needing gimmicks like the pussy stink of some old roastie.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

Very topical. Is the B-side a cover of Gangnam Style?

GG Allin made bodily fluids part of his edgelord gimmick 40 fucking years ago. That was also around the time garbage like Piss Christ and those nasty bitches painting with period blood had their regrettable 15 minutes. Not that this bodily fluid gross-out stuff was ever anywhere near the level of transcendent artistic statement that some retards seem to think it was, but now it's embarrassingly played out and doesn't even have shock value anymore, which was the only thing one could (dubiously) argue it had going for it. There is literally no lower form of expression and anyone so bereft of creativity that they resort to inflicting their bodily fluids on others for attention should be fucking institutionalized.

 

[OvercookedBacon]

. . . why are so many people obsessed with Gwyneth Paltrow's pussy stink?