LuLaRoe: It's Time To Sit Down
July 18, 2017
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MommyGyver
Hi there. It's me again. You know, the writer your son refers to as BooBoo...?
He's a cute one, BTW. Too bad he's scared shitless to be cut off of his mama's teat again for fucking up. Because isn't that what you do? You... nurturer, you.
Sit down, shut the fuck up. Now you get to listen to me. I spend countless hours of my life reading and listening to the cultish, brainless, RIDICULOUS, and mindless diatribe that spews from your cockholster. No one is buying it anymore, but we've all heard you. Time for you to listen to us, tootsie, and I speak for tens of thousands of us.
I've also spoken to several members of your family. You know you're fucking loopy when Mormons chuckle about how Mormons think you're too culty even for them. (Great sense of humor about it at least... your family is quite nice!) They say that you act (and say) you're on God's mission.
God's mission for what, exactly? Is it God's mission to impoverish 98% of the women that pay $5,000 and up to join your "buttery soft" cult? Is it God's mission to belittle and berate these women into submission so much that when they smarten up enough to defect from your regime, they are shells if anything, of their former selves?
I have watched as you, apparently stoned off your fluffy ass, swiveled and giggled in an office chair like a secretarial floozy. I've watched you tell people that you love them over and over and over again. Do you even know what love is? I've also heard you threaten people. I've been told about your little angry outbursts in the office. The Sunday dinners that were designed to discuss others in the family that were "concerning", aka... stood up to you. Is this leggings, or a third world country? I wasn't aware you could order people to drop everything... "Aunt Deanne".
This modesty you preach... is that the modesty that your family told me about as you became Mark's mistress after you met him in the last MLM you participated in? Before you supposedly swiped LuLaRoe from your (much younger looking and much more agreeable) twin sister, Dianne? Don't you preach about family preservation? And yet you were preserving what, when you were fucking a married man in his house that he owned with his wife no less? Tummy tuck surgery, and a bit of time as his guest with his wife right there... is that how it went? That's how it was told to me.
Mark- how is the relationship with your daughters these days, anyway? Do you often give people advice about fathering daughters? Did they forgive you for being absent in their lives? Kind of hypocritical, no?
So pull up your favorite swivel chairs, Mr. and Mrs. Stidham... I'm going to spell this out for you- REAL simple-like, so you can digest it while you assume and insist upon your own ignorance until you pass out. Y'all must be REALLY ignorant.
Let's talk about how you approach heavier members of your leadership and offer up bypass surgery to them in Mexico. How you, on more than one occasion, Deanne- have made women who practically worshipped you cry- for basically calling them fat and ugly. Deanne- YOU are not thin. YOU are not beautiful. You have no right. No right at all to approach people like that. You are hurtful and disgusting.
Let's talk about the girl that worked in home office. Sandy? Brandy, was it? A lovely black woman that any consultant from her era would have chimed in- "OMGGGG I LOOOOOOOVE her!"
Was she singled out for being heavy, Deanne? Was she treated poorly because she was fat AND black? Witnesses seem to think so. People IN YOUR HOME OFFICE seem to remember it that way. And again, I ask you- What right do you have?
You make clothes that inadvertently give the extremely underserved and ignored heavier female population something to love. Something that makes them feel good- and you're hocking bypass surgeries and firing the chubbies because they can't rock a pair of leggings how you'd want them to? I know you didn't design this clothing for those women, but you don't reprimand the fat shaming consultants that chide the women who paid for your jet, your cars, and your neat "little" mansion in Wyoming... Fat girls bought that shit for you. I was one of them. Say thank you!
Mean girls. Mean girls everywhere. Your NASTY Katie Mooney compares disliking your ridiculously poor quality clothing to being a member of a white supremacist group, and you reward her with flowers and fruit? Did you pay for Katie's bypass too? Is that why she's so vicious for you? Or is it because she's afraid of you? Because you snap at people? Or afraid of losing the income that pays for the house and Tesla she so freely publishes anywhere she can, then cries that people judge her.
Paid to lead, then snaps at people for not respecting her time. Entitlement. God you guys are ugly inside.
I was ON the coach call when you told your coaches that if they quoted you berating someone on that call, that you wouldn't sign their paychecks. Deny it. I'll bet there's a recording somewhere.
You take and take and take THOUSANDS of dollars from these women, you promise them freedom. You do nothing but shackle them to the debt and tell them they are at fault if they fail. The designs are disgusting 70% of the time yet you maintain that it all sells. If it all sells, why can't YOU sell it all? Why are you putting Americana into the normal shipments now? Why are you sending back returned inventory to consultants after you promised you wouldn't?
But then you want more. BUY MORE TO SELL MORE, she chants... and all the little followers chime in... worried for their 30 and 40 thousand dollar AND UP monthly paychecks, they put their better judgement on the side. They shush their souls telling them that it's all wrong- in the name of maintaining what they have built for themselves- watered with the sweat from the downlines' backs and the tears from those wishing to just get their refunds and be done with this horror story. You should be so fucking proud of your legacy...
An empire of lies, built to provide just one happy ending. Yours.
Deanne, honey- you are NOT getting your happy ending if I have anything to say about it. And believe me- I have a LOT to say. Your attorneys want the countless interviews I've done? Former and current employees, consultants, coaches, mentors, your family... if they bring it into court- it ALL comes into court. ALL of it. And I have the story you aren't telling people.
I have the story they whisper about illegitimate children and payoffs. Husbands thinking spawn from YOUR family knocking up consultants are THEIR babies. The whispers about drugs and sex... yet you preach conservative views. The half naked sax player at Justin's birthday party was conservative, how?
What about the mentor that is reported to be a pharmacist writing prescriptions for you all? Rumors of other physicians on a payroll for drugs. I have their names. Do you want them?
Before you begin to threaten me with libel, or threaten me with anything at all, you'd best know I don't bluff.
You built an empire of shit- and I'm holding the shovel. Dare I start to unload?
I'm tired, Deanne. I'm tired of the emails from the beaten down, the suicidal, the heartbroken, the terrified. The woman who lost everything and is living in her car- because of YOU.
IN.HER.CAR. She and her BABIES are living in a car because of you and your lies, you piece of trailer trash. You're rattling off on some drunken rant about nannies and housekeepers and Jimmy Choos while this woman, and how many others- lose everything after they went ALL IN with you. They could only dream of keeping the power on and you boast about shoes that could pay the power bill for 6 months. Humility much? Thankfulness anywhere?
How DARE YOU allow your leadership to put out messages to these women, speaking to them as if they are lower than dirt. If they are cattle to be herded in this direction or that- to do whatever your whim is at that moment. How dare you allow these women to be threatened. Threatened that if they should dare wear leggings that YOU CREATE to a company event- they may be publicly humiliated on stage in front of thousands of their peers?
Charise looks like she wrestled with a haunted tent and was consumed- in 80% of her photos, but she dare tell people they will be JUDGED ON STAGE?
A stage, no less, in a convention you can't give away tickets to.
"LuLaRoe is falling down, falling down, falling down... be humble, lady!" My new song. You would be served well to sing it to yourself.
What if someone humiliated you? Took all of it- the REAL story... and shared it with the world. Recorded interviews, testimonials, about who the REAL person is behind 47 pounds of eye makeup. How your self proclaimed culture tells people that they are stale. Lazy. Your company can't deliver refunds that people are promised. Leadership checks are owed. Checks are BOUNCING. But they are to blame?
And you, perched like a golden tart in her throne of bullshit, look down as if you're a character fighting for a kingdom in an HBO T.V. series.
Well, winter has come, bitch. It's here.
Start paying these people their money. Retract the condescension to the women that PAID TO KEEP YOUR PADDED ASS FED. Apologize to the thousands of people you have hurt- admit you were wrong, and then GO AWAY.
Because I promise you, I will be your personal poltergeist, lady. I will make it my full time job to get you a one-way ticket to prison. Real prison. Not white collar Martha Stewart is your cellmate prison. The kind where your fucking mail is screened and the only layers you have are jumpsuit and sports bra. What THE FUCK will you do without all 762 pieces of a LuLaRoe ensemble?
Your people have made threats that they would sue me. They have said I better watch myself. I was told that I don't know who I'm messing with. Well now the world knows that your camp has threatened me, so play nice.
You are not the golden one. You're a crook. Slowly but surely, all of what's left of your "legacy" is trickling outward. And then the cheese (or cheesy, as it were) stands alone...
Many months ago, I predicted this new change in structure for bonus payments. I predicted it as the reactive company's realization that they were breaking the law. I also said that as soon as those first checks hit and people used to making tens of thousands of dollars a month were only making an average salary- when their million dollar lifestyle begins to crumble to help you keep up your billion dollar facade- how many will leave? They are leaving you, Deanne. It's too little too late. They are leaving you, and the government will come.
And when your followers have all gone, and the government has come for you, then what? Where will you go? What will you do? There's only two ways to wear stripes, doll.
You once said- (and this was on one of the first conference calls I heard after I onboarded, and was not impressed one bit) "More money buys better friends".
Look around you, Deanne. They are my friends too. I don't have any money to give them. Money does not buy better friends. THE TRUTH DOES and it's catching you up, meanwhile I'm making some pretty powerful friends. Thanks!
Your family and your leaders are coming to ME. Crying about the mistreatment, about the abuse. The scandal. Ooooh... scandal. Don't we Americans love that?
I don't think you have the money these people are expecting. The money they were promised. If you had it, why would you allow this type of damage to be done to your precious brand? I guarantee it is diminishing in value by the moment.
Do you have their money, oh leader of a billion dollar empire?
Sit down, grab a pen, and sign a check. SIGN THEIR FUCKING CHECKS. Pay these people. My friends, strangers, and women who BLED FOR YOU. Pay them now.
While you're there, write them all an apology- because you should TRULY be ashamed.
**EDITED TO ADD A MESSAGE TO THE CONSULTANTS LEAVING, LEFT, THINKING ABOUT IT- AND ESPECIALLY TO THOSE STAYING***
YOU own you. No one else. If you value yourself at all, listen to me. You do NOT need to be talked to this way. You do not need to be threatened and belittled. ON a stage??? A convention center filled with your friends and peers??? How dare they remove your worth so far that they would have this freak deliver a message like this.
This is a fucking circus act being run by a sideshow full of clowns. These people do not define you. I don't care if we have crossed paths negatively on this journey- YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS. If you need a friend to tell you this, reach out to me. For that, I will be your friend. Even you, KKKatie.
Get your morals back! You do not berate other women, oppress them, belittle them- just to build yourself up! Don't fall into it! Stand up!!! You are not alone!!!
As Alex said best- "Do you, booboo." Don't let anyone tell you how to do you- EXCEPT you.
