"Queen Bee" sperging

[calicojack]

Ohh shit, Megan asked him to make an apology video, do you think he might go through with it.

> Probably not.

 

[Marvin]

The real problem was he thought his life would be infinitely better if he got laid.

Spoiler

it didn't

Guess he fell for the societal crap that says sex is somehow necessary. You can go through and live a happy life without ever having sex with anyone. Personally, I think abstinence shows strength because it shows you're willing to dominate your own sexual urges. To me, casual sex doesn't seem any more fulfilling than masturbation because you're doing it with someone you don't have a bond with. Guess Chris thinks sex is some kind of magic wand that makes his life better.

It's possible to be happy without sex, I guess. But even so, life's full of experiences and without them, people lead stunted and boring lives.

 

[MetroidJunkie]

It's possible to be happy without sex, I guess. But even so, life's full of experiences and without them, people lead stunted and boring lives.

True, but sex is only one experience out of many. It just happens to be the one Chris tried to go after, half-assedly of course.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

For the record while the "He thought his life would get better" is part of it he banged the hooker because he thought he was going to prison and he didn't want to die a virgin. He planned to go on a hunger strike while there.

 

[MetroidJunkie]

For the record while the "He thought his life would get better" is part of it he banged the hooker because he thought he was going to prison and he didn't want to die a virgin. He planned to go on a hunger strike while there.

As if he would've carried through on it, this is a guy who crashes down in slumber when things get marginally difficult. He'd crack pretty quickly and would be far more likely to end up getting killed by another prisoner, unless the guards were smart enough to keep him isolated.

 

[Pikonic]

For the record while the "He thought his life would get better" is part of it he banged the hooker because he thought he was going to prison and he didn't want to die a virgin. He planned to go on a hunger strike while there.

He's not stupid enough to think a hit and run with minor injuries would make him a lifer…did he?

 

[Kosher Dill]

He could theoretically have gotten a year, which is a long time to go without McNuggets.

 

[Dormiebasne]

For the record while the "He thought his life would get better" is part of it he banged the hooker because he thought he was going to prison and he didn't want to die a virgin. He planned to go on a hunger strike while there.

As if he would've carried through on it, this is a guy who crashes down in slumber when things get marginally difficult. He'd crack pretty quickly and would be far more likely to end up getting killed by another prisoner, unless the guards were smart enough to keep him isolated.

Now, I myself have never been to prison or know much about its regulations, but wouldn't Chris be an ideal candidate for a Protective Custody ward of some kind? I mean, like you say, he's a stabbing just waiting to happen if he were to be put in general population, even in a county jail.

 

[MetroidJunkie]

Now, I myself have never been to prison or know much about its regulations, but wouldn't Chris be an ideal candidate for a Protective Custody ward of some kind? I mean, like you say, he's a stabbing just waiting to happen if he were to be put in general population, even in a county jail.

My point, though, is that a hunger strike would never work. It would require real dedication, something Chris has absolutely none of.

 

[Dormiebasne]

Now, I myself have never been to prison or know much about its regulations, but wouldn't Chris be an ideal candidate for a Protective Custody ward of some kind? I mean, like you say, he's a stabbing just waiting to happen if he were to be put in general population, even in a county jail.

My point, though, is that a hunger strike would never work. It would require real dedication, something Chris has absolutely none of.

I could imagine him throwing tantrums over how shitty the food is there, but, no, you're probably right. He wouldn't make it through an entire feeding period once he realized that was all he was going to get.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

The real problem was he thought his life would be infinitely better if he got laid.

Spoiler

it didn't

Guess he fell for the societal crap that says sex is somehow necessary. You can go through and live a happy life without ever having sex with anyone. Personally, I think abstinence shows strength because it shows you're willing to dominate your own sexual urges. To me, casual sex doesn't seem any more fulfilling than masturbation because you're doing it with someone you don't have a bond with. Guess Chris thinks sex is some kind of magic wand that makes his life better.

Sex is pretty great tho

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I was pretty glad Chris had sex, I'll admit it. When I first discovered him, it was such amazement to have someone to compare my shitty-girl getting skills with (though my problem has to do with my past, not my personality) but I had always hoped he'd break down and get a prostitute, and he did.

He was actually still talking about it for 2 whole days. Saying he "woke up that morning and it was the first thing he thought of" and he was "smiling for hours." I'll tell you now, those won't be on my mind after I break it. Instead, I'll be playing the movie "Streets of Fire" as me and my girl sleep.

I was a bit bummed he didn't describe the event though. All he said was... actually, I'm not gonna bring up discussions of Chris body parts, thats in the rules.

 

[A-№1]

And that's where the prostitute's real problems began. You don't really comprehend what a disgusting profession that is until you consider the prospect of a woman accepting money to have sex with Christian Weston Chandler. Jesus Godbear Christ.

All I can say for her sake is I hope she charged him a hell of a lot of money.

Considering Chris' finances, tho, probably not enough. I really feel sorry for anyone who has no recourse but to support them self by sleeping with people like Chris. Prostitution is not like Pretty Woman; Chris may well not have been the worst of her clients.

Personally, I think abstinence shows strength because it shows you're willing to dominate your own sexual urges.

That only works when abstinence is optional, or at least done for a purpose. Chris is neither.

It's possible to be happy without sex, I guess. But even so, life's full of experiences and without them, people lead stunted and boring lives.

True, but sex is only one experience out of many. It just happens to be the one Chris tried to go after, half-assedly of course.

Yes, but as experiences go it's a big one. Probably the biggest. The driving force behind life has always been making more life, and so you have millions of year of evolution shaping your body and brain to make the payoff for procreation as big as possible.

tl;dr: You are a vehicle for your genes, and your genes want you to fuck!

For the record while the "He thought his life would get better" is part of it he banged the hooker because he thought he was going to prison and he didn't want to die a virgin. He planned to go on a hunger strike while there.

According to Alec, Chris was also expecting to see Snyder sent to jail and him be awarded ownership of the game place at the trial, so who knows what he was expecting? I think it's only safe to say whatever he was expecting was far divorced from reality, either way.

I'm not doubting this explanation for his finally going to a hooker, but it does show an uncharacteristic amount for forward planning on Chris' part. There could have been other reasons, and, since this is Chris we're talking about, those other reasons don't have to make much sense.

And I still laugh at the thought of Chris attempting a hunger strike. The best he could manage is probably a "slightly peckish strike".

 

[Iamthatis]

I'm hardly an expert on hook-ups, but I wonder if Anna is attracted to him in some weird way. There's people who have like "caretaker" fetishes for "less-abled" (to put it euphemistically) people like Chris.

I remember the NUCLEAR FUCKING CATASTROPHE that erupted when Chris lost his virginity to a hooker. Just imagine how fast their fedoras would be spinning if Chris lost it "legitimately" to someone with a fetish like that. ABSOLUTE PROOF ONLY GENES MATTER[/quote]

I think that would also explain his tomgirlism

 

[Coffee Overdose]

According to Alec, Chris was also expecting to see Snyder sent to jail and him be awarded ownership of the game place at the trial, so who knows what he was expecting? I think it's only safe to say whatever he was expecting was far divorced from reality, either way.

I'm not doubting this explanation for his finally going to a hooker, but it does show an uncharacteristic amount for forward planning on Chris' part. There could have been other reasons, and, since this is Chris we're talking about, those other reasons don't have to make much sense.

And I still laugh at the thought of Chris attempting a hunger strike. The best he could manage is probably a "slightly peckish strike".

Wait what? he was expected to be given the game place at the trial? Where was this said, or did Chris say it in a video or during the trial?

 

[A-№1]

Wait what? he was expected to be given the game place at the trial?

Yeah, that was kind of my reaction too.

Where was this said, or did Chris say it in a video or during the trial?

You'd have to ask Alec about that. I only remember him mentioning it in passing, and since Alec is a reliable source and it wasn't really on topic at the time, I don't remember asking for further details. I'll try to remember what thread it was.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

*Sniff sniff*

Smell that? Hoarded content.

 

[MetroidJunkie]

Yes, but as experiences go it's a big one. Probably the biggest. The driving force behind life has always been making more life, and so you have millions of year of evolution shaping your body and brain to make the payoff for procreation as big as possible.

Don't get me wrong, sex is ultimately vital to the survival of the human race but it shouldn't be the only thing on your mind. It's far more fulfilling to find someone whom you resonate with on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level beforehand since lust is a hollow pursuit that will always leave you wanting more. Also, having sex with a prostitute (Which is what Chris did) doesn't result in procreation (Unless something goes horribly wrong) so even that one purpose is left out, making it little more than glorified masturbation so my point remains the same.

 

[GFYS]

Now, I myself have never been to prison or know much about its regulations, but wouldn't Chris be an ideal candidate for a Protective Custody ward of some kind? I mean, like you say, he's a stabbing just waiting to happen if he were to be put in general population, even in a county jail.

In most cases, probably not. I don't think he'd be as big a magnet for abuse, as some seem to think. A vast majority of people will just ignore him. At most, he might get a few verbal jabs and wolf tickets, but I don't see anyone risking reprimand over someone as inconsequential as a fat retarded kid. That's what folks will see, a poor fat retarded kid. There's no cred to be had by physically owning a retarded kid. Depending on the yard, it's even frowned upon, and subject to self-policing from the old timers. A vast majority of inmates aren't violent psychopaths - just hungry kids with no direction, drug addicts, and two-bit cheats. Chris will probably just regress into his own mind, like so many other inmates, and blend in with the wall. As well, there are plenty of people with far more debilitating special needs in general population, that would make Chris seem mundane.

As far as Johns, Chris is also surprisingly mundane when compared to many of the other pricks out there. I think it would be easy to lead Chris along through a fairly uneventful around-the-world transaction, since he's so meek and naive. Even at his most ripe, he wouldn't be the filthiest John out there by a longshot, unless you're dealing with diamond-tier escorts. Unless Chris develops a habit for physical violence, I doubt he's even on the spectrum of notable tricks, especially in a circuit like Virginia. States with naval bases and/or high religious integration tend to have the worst Johns.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Besides which, Chris wouldn't be going into some sort of hardcore prison with lifers. He'd have been in some sort of minimum-security prison or county jail, probably with people on similar sentences. No one is going to want to double or triple their short-time stay in the clink for picking a fight with "Sonichu".