Questions for the female autists here - Sneed

[NoReturn]

So, what do you do once you're diagnosed? I can understand getting a diagnosis for something like ADHD where medication can help, but it's my understanding that there is no such medication for autism, and all the treatment is stuff like behavioral therapy that requires mindfulness and discipline. Personally I would take an autism diagnosis as a last resort because it seems like it could be easy to chalk something up to the autism vs finding an actual fix. Maybe that explains why parents are resistant to the diagnosis.

The main benefit seems to be access to resources like @glioblastoma multiforme mentioned upthread.
That's probably true for a lot of diagnoses if you're not a munchie. Munchies want a diagnosis because they think it entitles them to attention and care, but for other things it can just be beneficial or change the care you get.

 

[Android raptor]

Unfortunately if you're an adult, especially if you live in a red state, even with a diagnosis resources are pretty limited. If we can't be rich assholes like Elon Musk or Bill Gates, they just want to funnel us into being fodder for the prison-industrial complex like all the other disabled and crazy people.

 

[WelperHelper99]

Very. I didn't have any real friends until middle school (and I'm still friends with middle school friends) and have made very few friends since then, and I've ruined some friendships even as an adult by doing dumbshit things that I didn't realize were dumbshit at the time.

I think, reading your and others responses, friendships, lasting ones, are a learned traits. For me, I had to learn how not to talk about MY interests like a blabbermouth, learn to listen more. I think that drove people away more than anything. I feel you about ruining friendships, you aren't alone in that

 

[Neurotic]

I would ask how difficult was it making friends early on? People always ended up leaving until I got into high school. Did any of you have similar experiences?

There have been many good responses to the main set of questions, don't have much to add that wasn't already said. I can say something on this though.

Making friends, especially with other women, has become increasingly difficult with age. When I was young, I was incredibly lucky to meet enough strange people (other spergs, kids riddled with trauma, or just girls who were raised by pre-2010 internet) to create a social circle of loving friends. Although those relationships lasted 10+ years in some cases, they are gone now. I legitimately do not understand why these bonds don't work as adults, because it seems like they should. But they don't.

Meeting new people is the worst challenge I personally have faced as an adult. Other moms want nothing to do with me, because I talk wrong, think wrong, move wrong, emote wrong, or whatever else they want to say. I try to pretend to be normal, and no one buys it. I say "Sorry, I have Asperger's" and I get treated like a child.

I can't be a normal woman, but I can't switch sides to become a man. Interacting with men makes me happy, it's easier, but I know in most instances I am not thier equal socially.

It brings me to tears to think there are other women who go through the same thing, and that we will never meet, and we will never become friends with each other. We just lose no matter what.

It bites.

 

[Coelacanth]

So, what do you do once you're diagnosed?

Get wise and grow a backbone ASAP. Despite what the media and the government would have you believe resources for help in places like the UK are shit - especially if you land on the side of being "normal". The only thing I can say without a doubt helps is what's known as Rhythmic Movement Training - it sounds like a New Age hippie thing but it's proven to help people with neurological disorders including the 'tism.

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

you're right. its less to pathologise it, and i will say i made a poor choice of words in my previous post with "disease"- i was thinking of other highly heritable things such as haemophilia. but i don't think that autism in people who are functional is a disease. its just a different way of considering things and viewing the world.

what is really important is that it is recognised and protected. due to legislation in my country i am able to request accommodations that make it possible for me to perform in a job at a very high level. i need that support and understanding, i've tried multiple times prior to my diagnosis to be a 'normal' economically active person and it didn't work, it was disastrous.

now that i have a diagnosis and thus a legal right to make requests that enable me to do my job i'm fucking flying. i'm lucky that i have an employer that recognises my abilities and is willing to work with me to enable me to work, my previous job they weren't willing to help me at all and though i still produced decent work its nothing like the level i'm at now. i don't really care if my employer pathologises it, however they conceptualise it they've figured out how to get the best from me and that's awesome. i've also made them more willing to consider autistic candidates so that's really cool too.

i don't personally pathologise autism, now i understand it i love being autistic, i couldn't be doing the work i do now without it, so i'm really sorry that my stupid choice of wording made people think that i do.

Uh, you seem to have misunderstood.

Autism is a disability. And if it's not disabling, it's not autism at all. You should never have been diagnosed. Your description of loving your supposed autism because you can force your employer to cater to your sensitivities, and how your performance has gone from "producing decent work" to "fucking flying" is an insult to the vast majority of people with autism who are actually disabled. Who will never hope to work at all, or even live independently, let alone for the 50% with learning disability and their families.

It's good that employers can now be forced to adapt to highly strung people and that a variety of different personality types can thrive, but I wish they could have done that without a serious disability being appropriated.

There needs to be a separate diagnosis or description for functioning people with slight hints of autism. Highly sensitive person, and broader autistic phenotype have been suggested. It's not real autism, and it's not fair to literal retards to now be lumped in with people like yourself, or even like me (should never have got rid of Aspergers).

 

[Soft Boiled Egg]

I've occasionally wondered if I'm autistic.

I mean this with nothing but love and support, but your profile revolves entirely around the Goro Akechi himself. I hate to say it, but I fear the answer may be right in front of you. just kidding! unless...?

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

So, what do you do once you're diagnosed? I can understand getting a diagnosis for something like ADHD where medication can help, but it's my understanding that there is no such medication for autism, and all the treatment is stuff like behavioral therapy that requires mindfulness and discipline. Personally I would take an autism diagnosis as a last resort because it seems like it could be easy to chalk something up to the autism vs finding an actual fix. Maybe that explains why parents are resistant to the diagnosis.

Also the high amount of trooning out is something I'm interested in / horrified by. I imagine it's because dealing with the rules of femininity sucks if you don't give a shit about fashion and makeup, not to mention suffering through monthly periods. Now that groomers run the media, all these girls suddenly think they're trans. It's a bunch of bullshit and I hope the autism community pushes back on it.

People who are disabled by autism can get benefits/welfare, and get funding for support workers or carers if they have no one to look after them. If they get in trouble with the law , they can have an appropriate adult supporting them at the police station. An autism diagnosis can also help inform accurate assessments for any co-morbid mental health problems. A diagnosis is really important for those who are not high functioning.

For adults who have lived a pretty much normal life, a diagnosis is a tool for special treatment by employers (see previous post), but most of all validation for feeling different. Instead of realising that everyone finds life tough, and everyone is different, they now have a label to legitimise feeling super-special and hard done by.

 

[DumbDude43]

Uh, you seem to have misunderstood.

Autism is a disability. And if it's not disabling, it's not autism at all. You should never have been diagnosed. Your description of loving your supposed autism because you can force your employer to cater to your sensitivities, and how your performance has gone from "producing decent work" to "fucking flying" is an insult to the vast majority of people with autism who are actually disabled. Who will never hope to work at all, or even live independently, let alone for the 50% with learning disability and their families.

It's good that employers can now be forced to adapt to highly strung people and that a variety of different personality types can thrive, but I wish they could have done that without a serious disability being appropriated.

There needs to be a separate diagnosis or description for functioning people with slight hints of autism. Highly sensitive person, and broader autistic phenotype have been suggested. It's not real autism, and it's not fair to literal retards to now be lumped in with people like yourself, or even like me (should never have got rid of Aspergers).

yeah
remember, chris chan (the internets poster boy of autism and an absolutely dysfunctional wreck of a person) is considered high functioning. he's on the mild side of the spectrum.
lower functioning, less mild kinds of autism look something like this:

'i'm awkward and have trouble making friends' isn't comparable to this debilitating mental illness.

 

[glioblastoma multiforme]

You should never have been diagnosed. Your description of loving your supposed autism because you can force your employer to cater to your sensitivities, and how your performance has gone from "producing decent work" to "fucking flying" is an insult to the vast majority of people with autism who are actually disabled

you know nothing about me.

i wish i didn't need accommodations. i said that prior to my diagnosis, my attempts at holding down a job were disastrous and i'd had multiple periods of being completely unable to function. i've had two jobs since, one with a boss who was a prick so i moved swiftly, and one with a decent boss. i'd prefer not to have had so long failing to be able to keep a job and all the stress and self hatred that brings.

i have nothing but sympathy for people whose autism prevents them from working at all and am sorry if that's the case for you.

i'm sure you are aware, there are 3 levels of autism, as detailed here- whether you consider level 1 to be legit or not, its pretty widely accepted and doesn't prevent people from working if given appropriate accommodations.

 

[TIM4EUS]

Get wise and grow a backbone ASAP. Despite what the media and the government would have you believe resources for help in places like the UK are shit - especially if you land on the side of being "normal". The only thing I can say without a doubt helps is what's known as Rhythmic Movement Training - it sounds like a New Age hippie thing but it's proven to help people with neurological disorders including the 'tism.

this sounds conceptually similar to something I do. im learning an instrument and I find that keeping the beat/following the metronome helps regulate my mind.

basically my autistic tendencies arise from a desire to control and rush everything, this is fine in solo endeavors but not in social ones... I mean, socializing is all about being relaxed and letting things flow which is the opposite of rushing/controlling. playing music helps me because it forces me to ease up, slow down, conform and follow the "rules" (the beat) in order for it to sound good, which is exactly how socializing works!

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

you know nothing about me.

i wish i didn't need accommodations. i said that prior to my diagnosis, my attempts at holding down a job were disastrous and i'd had multiple periods of being completely unable to function. i've had two jobs since, one with a boss who was a prick so i moved swiftly, and one with a decent boss. i'd prefer not to have had so long failing to be able to keep a job and all the stress and self hatred that brings.

i have nothing but sympathy for people whose autism prevents them from working at all and am sorry if that's the case for you.

i'm sure you are aware, there are 3 levels of autism, as detailed here- whether you consider level 1 to be legit or not, its pretty widely accepted and doesn't prevent people from working if given appropriate accommodations.

If they insist on keep calling this issue "autism" then there needs to be a level 0 for all the people like yourself.

What you describe isn't autism, loads - if not most - people find work difficult. Loads of people have to quit for a while for mental health. There's nothing wrong with that and it's a real concern, but it should be called what it is. Autism shouldn't be used. It is trivialising the condition and damaging public understanding for people who have real problems.

 

[DagothUr]

yeah
remember, chris chan (the internets poster boy of autism and an absolutely dysfunctional wreck of a person) is considered high functioning. he's on the mild side of the spectrum.
lower functioning, less mild kinds of autism look something like this:

'i'm awkward and have trouble making friends' isn't comparable to this debilitating mental illness.

That is extremely depressing and disturbing. I've known people who've had it bad before that and been thoroughly unsettled.
But nothing like that bad. He's like an animal.
I feel sorry for him and his mother.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

I am getting egg_irl vibes with this thread.

"Am i autistic? Well i like anime so..."
"Yes anon, of course you are, just self diagnose like me!"

There is autism and then there is meme autism. Meme autism is just being a dweeb and the socialization issues are caused by watching too many cartoons and by being online too long instead of interacting with the real world. Any normie can get a high functioning sperg diagnosis now and is a pain in the ass because their "autistic traits" are most likely behavioral and caused by their own habits and environment not the other way around.

More than half of autistic people are legit mentally retarded with sub 80 iq so it baffles me that anyone would want to label themselves as retarded for brownie points.

 

[Rapunzel]

I was diagnosed young (ish). My parents were ashamed so, it didn't go so well, minimal support and lots of, 'why can't you just be normal'. I wasn't told until last year (decades later) and decided to be reassessed because I'm a fucking 'tard. Got the same result.
No life isn't easy, no I don't have 'fun', apparently I'm not normal and I'm described as a social and emotional retard, if I see you on the street it is highly unlikely I'll recognise you unless you are next to your car or in your car (I'll recognise your numberplate more than your face). Whole host of things.

Kinder eggs, been my thing since a kid. Not Kinder joy, not the Kinder bars, the Kinder Eggs. They don't weigh 20g as claimed (some do), they range from 18g (rare) to 24g (rare) but usually around 21/22g. For some reason, if you get the themed Kinder Eggs ie Avatar, they are more likely to be on the heavier end than the non themed.

Noise 24/7, same audio books and films and music, occasionally I will try something new.
Same food.
Same clothes.
Just sameness.
Sensory shit, home is a buffer zone, pretty much no one is allowed in except for 2 members of family and that's very occasionally. I avoid other people's houses because of their stuff and I don't know how to leave.
I don't go out socially. I've tried it and it just goes wrong.
I don't really have friends, maybe 2 or 3 who keep an eye on me.

And yes, I work, but within my capabilities, I don't expect people to bend over backwards for me.
I also have someone assist me for some tasks. FML.

People also focus on the social and special interest bullshit. It's more than that. It's the sleep issues that come with it, the stupid repetitive motions, the ridiculous ways we stand, not being able to tell if we're hot or cold or even if it's too damn dark to do stuff. It's being able to do random things really well but not being able to plan a bus route involving more than 2 buses. Its being able to follow a recipe perfectly but not order from a menu because its so confusing so you copycat the person next to you and then always pick that. It's not recognising how ill with flu you actually are until you have to be told you need to be in hospital because you are so used to just not feeling uncomfortable 99%.

It's not fun, it's being bullied for being caught out rocking again, being sat or stood in that position again, or doing that repetitive motion again, or repetitively handing out random facts or consistently being told you arent really human, your weird, retarded, not like us. It's rumblings before meltdown when your pacing and hitting your head now and again saying, 'my brains pinging'. It's hunkering down for days on end barely eating, drinking with 0 contact to the outside world.

It's not fun, quirky etc, it's difficult. It's like being a basic human human being. The lights are on but not everybody's home.

So, anyway, diagnosed early 90s and I'm still retarded now. Unlike a lot autists, I don't care about the tard status because in a lot of ways, I am. I can function (barely) with some support and as long my routine doesn't get fucked.

 

[Louisville Slugger]

What's your take on "self diagnosed autists"?

Autism isn't real.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Autism isn't real.

This sites userbase alone proves its real.

 

[Blatant hypocrite]

"Debate whether autism is being overdiagnosed, especially in women"

 

[Stan]

1) Atypical presentation. Girls are trained more in social skills from an early age and may learn to mask giveaway traits sooner. They may prefer reading in a quiet room, stacking objects but not being disruptive, subtler drums and tics, so it’s harder to notice these non-problems. The first “symptom” I demonstrated was learning to read extremely quickly, which one might not consider a problem at all, and then the second was fine motor skill delay.

2) An extremely high expectation of social awareness and social felicity, and being bullied by boys and girls alike for being the weird girl. All the mothers of the autistic boys in your various support networks want to match make you with their loudmouth annoying sons before you’ve even gotten your period.

3.) I hated it for the longest time and would fly into a rage if my parents or psych so much as mentioned the word. It took me getting into a relationship with someone who was proud of his intellectual gifts and also had Asperger’s (and whose parents modeled acceptance rather than trying to Adderall the problem away) for me to not view it as a curse. Now I see it as part of who I am, and if I could take a pill that made me non-autistic I would choose not to; that would be like deciding I have to fundamentally change who I am just to meet other peoples expectations.

4.) they may or may not be autistic. I’m skeptical of people who are diagnosed with autism in adulthood. Most of the obvious and hardest to deal with symptoms emerge in childhood. Unless you’re severely autistic or have co-existing problems things should get easier as you mature; if only because you have more time to learn some social skills and find some hobbies to share. It can still be depressing and isolating though.

5.) I get angry at the cows for being the poster children of autism on the Internet. Im insulted by the implied / express comparison between myself and Chris-Chan (or other notable autistics) and I dislike how any display of knowledgeability or passionate interest here is called “sperging out”. It reminds me of being compared to a certain boy in my 4th grade class year who had more severe autism. That other autistic kid used to frustrate me a lot and he sort of molested me in 9th grade. He finally got the boot in 10th because he wouldn’t stop bitching about his mom whenever it was his turn to talk in class.

6.) Before I had a good narrative memory… maybe 3 or 4. High-functioning/Asperger’s syndrome. My mom kept a lot of the neuropsych exams and clinical paperwork from then, so it’s documented.

PS I got a lot of intervention at an early age to help me pass: sensory integration therapy (so I wouldn’t shriek in pain from the sound of too many kids playing or the tag in my shirt itching me etc.) psych therapy and social skills training (so I could do things like take turns in a conversation and answer the phone correctly), executive functioning training (so I don’t post my embarrassing self-drawn Sonic / Pokémon crossover porn on the internet) It would be much harder for me to live a normal life if I hadn’t had a dx and access to those treatments. I also received some drug treatments that did nothing (vitamin therapy) or were harmful to me (Adderall and other amphetamines).

 

[Stan]

If they insist on keep calling this issue "autism" then there needs to be a level 0 for all the people like yourself.

What you describe isn't autism, loads - if not most - people find work difficult. Loads of people have to quit for a while for mental health. There's nothing wrong with that and it's a real concern, but it should be called what it is. Autism shouldn't be used. It is trivialising the condition and damaging public understanding for people who have real problems.

More than half of autistic people are legit mentally retarded with sub 80 iq so it baffles me that anyone would want to label themselves as retarded for brownie points.

Hey, why don’t you BTFO?