Questions for the female autists here - Sneed

[thecrusaderoffilth]

Let me give you guys some insight from someone who's pretty Neurotypical.

So I'm the opposite of autism, I think my score on that web thing is around 24 out of 200. Prolly some Schizo shit going on in me but I haven't strayed off the rocker there just yet. I get along well socially, I'm not like super popular or anything because I don't care to be, but I understand nuances well and understand why people behave the way they behave, and this comes intuitively to me. It's very easy to communicate with people and even to make new friends.
For a long time I used to really dislike autists (the irony of me hanging out on Kiwifarms lmfao) because idk man. For example, if any of you have seen Fishtank, there was Josie and TJ who were I guess fan favorites. Like I hated both of those for no reason, right? If I had a dude just rocking next to me like a weird freak I'd start losing it, especially TJ. This isn't rational and I understand that, but I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say that, for neurotypical people, 'tismos are just weird and somehow naturally repulsive. Like you don't fit the herd, stop doing weird shit, right? I've come to learn about autism in the last couple of years and I guess I have better understanding for ppl with autism now than I did back then, and I recognized the brilliance that can be dug up with an autistic person if only you were patient enough.

I have a friend that's super autistic (undiagnosed but it's as obvious as a troon's jawline), and I love him to death, but the dude is super into Rock and Metal music and sometimes he just goes on and on and on and ON and on and ON about some guitar player, drummer, or any of the lore in regards to X and Y band and man, I just CAN'T, right? Like we'd be in company of some girls or something and he'd just talk about shit that's - not really socially acceptable or interesting plus its weird as fuck - Like I don't care, and when you tell them that they're acting like a jackass, you'd come off as rude - something you try not to be and, again, social norms are something you recognize - so you're stuck there just hoping it'll be over soon. Then, you try to avoid said person because you don't want to be mean, or avoid social interactions with that person and other people cause you cringe HARD and feel embarrassed.
Another thing is that I'm a pretty easy going person and I'm used to people to be as easy going as they could be, within the realm of reason, but autists always seem stubborn and it becomes pretty unpleasant to continue the conversation with autists, right? Cause they don't see it as them being unpleasant, they see it as being honest and concise, something that ARE SOCIETY doesn't really value.

The point of the former stuff was me trying to relay some insight on the other side of the spectrum, and how us, neurotypicals, look at autists and why we even take advantage of them, so if any of you have some questions or something feel free to shoot. If any of you want to call me a kike tranny faggot retard then by all means do it lol.

 

[Perun]

but I understand nuances well and understand why people behave the way they behave, and this comes intuitively to me. It's very easy to communicate with people and even to make new friends.

You're not as socially adept as you think if you thought your post was in any way helpful or informative.

 

[w.a.m.s.]

Let me give you guys some insight from someone who's pretty Neurotypical.

Starting off strong, for this post in the "Questions for the female autists" thread! Bet you're a moid too.

Prolly some Schizo shit going on in me but I haven't strayed off the rocker there just yet.

What an interesting thing to disclose about yourself.

I guess what I'm trying to say that, for neurotypical people, 'tismos are just weird and somehow naturally repulsive. Like you don't fit the herd, stop doing weird shit, right? I've come to learn about autism in the last couple of years and I guess I have better understanding for ppl with autism now than I did back then, and I recognized the brilliance that can be dug up with an autistic person if only you were patient enough.

You did not read any of the highlighted posts in this thread, or even the recent ones, if you think "normies think autists are weird" is news to autists. Especially since the last two pages or so have been female autists talking about their experiences of being ostracized from female peer groups, and of female normies viewing them as sexual competition when they didn't have any intentions on anyone's man.

The point of the former stuff was me trying to relay some insight on the other side of the spectrum, and how us, neurotypicals, look at autists and why we even take advantage of them, so if any of you have some questions or something feel free to shoot.

How messianic of you! All anyone ever needed in the "Questions for the female autists" thread was a """pretty Neurotypical""" moid coming in to give us the insight we've been missing all our lives!

Like, god damn, I never believed in "the double empathy problem" before, because of course autists can't empathize with other autists any more than deaf people can hear other deaf people. But your whole post makes me question your ability to empathize with people, at least the people here. You don't even have to have "theory of mind" to understand the context of what anyone is talking about, because it's right there on the screen and it takes less than ten minutes to read the latest page or two. Yet here you are, indicating that you didn't read a thing anyone posted before you. You just showed up to... "relay some insight"? Who asked for your charity?

You are not as smart as you think you are, you are not helpful, and your post reads as incredibly condescending. But I will give you that you did properly anticipate being identified as

a kike tranny faggot retard

 

[bunnydoll]

It's hard to relate to a society of liars. Casually lying is so ingrained in Western society out of "politeness" that most people can't even recognize when they're doing it anymore. Often I feel like a lot of people dislike autistic women because they have this idea that women must be 100% empathetic and relatable all the time. We are the "fixers" of society and have to attend to everyone's needs, and when we say how we really feel it surprises and offends everyone. Telling the truth is punished and frowned upon. Honestly it's the entire reason I feel so disillusioned with society because I hate lying and people do it so aimlessly.

As a autistic woman I will never understand why people lie all the time about the stupidest shit. Can a normal person explain to me why?

I absolutely hate to lie and I've experienced much hate for not embellishing my comments. A lot of people think I'm rude for being honest. At the end of the day I dont really care if they like me or not but it's been very hard finding female friends that are not sensitive and understand that I'm not mean just very honest and what I say I mean literally, no double meaning.

 

[thecrusaderoffilth]

As a autistic woman I will never understand why people lie all the time about the stupidest shit. Can a normal person explain to me why?

The truth can be an inconvenience sometimes. I mean I guess we're talking about white lies and not full on deceptive behavior? Same goes for some truths, like you can be overly honest. To be hyperbolic for a second here, imagine you see a fat bitch at your workplace and she's talking about a new shirt she got. The "white lie" would be to tell her that her shirt looks nice or something. Overly honest thing would be to tell her that she's fat and that the shirt really brings out her curls lmao. It's just to maintain cohesion in a community I guess, because as you might react fine when you get such a comment, most people wouldn't, it'd shatter their confidence etc. I mean this is just this one hypothetical scenario, but the underlying reason is to escape an awkward or uncomfortable situation when it's really not necessary to have one.

You're not as socially adept as you think if you thought your post was in any way helpful or informative.

You'd be surprised. I did lowk ramble a bunch now when I look back at it.

Starting off strong, for this post in the "Questions for the female autists" thread! Bet you're a moid too.

Yes! I love beer, trucks, and manipulating women.

What an interesting thing to disclose about yourself.

Seeing as how we be taklin about our mental issues I felt like I should share mine :^)

You did not read any of the highlighted posts in this thread, or even the recent ones, if you think "normies think autists are weird" is news to autists. Especially since the last two pages or so have been female autists talking about their experiences of being ostracized from female peer groups, and of female normies viewing them as sexual competition when they didn't have any intentions on anyone's man.

True, I didn't, my bad, I impulsively wrote that. Autistic people in general do get ostracized, but I was coming from an angle to at least give some insight on why and how the "normies" feel about you. About the sexual competition thing like idk, I'd say women tend to be jealous of each other in general? Maybe the point is that autistic women are unintentionally flirty with guys so them hoes get mad? I'd say this is something that both sexes can relate to, not a lot of people like their SOs being charmed up by someone else and again even if it's unintentional. I feel like the way you lot describe your way of relating to men is about the same as men trying to relate to normie women, i.e they don't really get why women are the way they are, yet men are simple and direct. My friends and experience tell me that autistic women are usually better partners than normie women honestly, if I was a hoe I'd be super jelly too.

How messianic of you! All anyone ever needed in the "Questions for the female autists" thread was a """pretty Neurotypical""" moid coming in to give us the insight we've been missing all our lives!

Like, god damn, I never believed in "the double empathy problem" before, because of course autists can't empathize with other autists any more than deaf people can hear other deaf people. But your whole post makes me question your ability to empathize with people, at least the people here. You don't even have to have "theory of mind" to understand the context of what anyone is talking about, because it's right there on the screen and it takes less than ten minutes to read the latest page or two. Yet here you are, indicating that you didn't read a thing anyone posted before you. You just showed up to... "relay some insight"? Who asked for your charity?

You are not as smart as you think you are, you are not helpful, and your post reads as incredibly condescending. But I will give you that you did properly anticipate being identified as

MMMMMMMMMMMOID ALERTTTTTTT. I'm self centered like that, I throw my voice out in the aether and wait till someone picks up on it, fixing their lives in the process, receiving eternal grattitude. I'm not being condescending I'm just placing myself on a pedestal above you and talking down.

But seriously,

Speaking from experience, it's generally assumed that adult female autists don't need to be considered in that way because they're infantilized to absolute shit. I've had people express shock that I have had academic success, held relationships, or just generally enjoy normie girly shit. As if I'm some sort of perpetual toddler and not an adult with a life.

Yeah I get why this would be frustrating, no doubt. I'm not sure if I understood you fully so feel free to correct me, but I think this is the case when someone sees someone disabled do something that would be out of the realm of their capability, or perceived capability. Most people generally don't mean anything by it, and it probably comes from a good place. I wouldn't be too much bothered about it if I were you, it's just ignorance and you can't fault people for that. Tell me if I'm missing something here though maybe I misunderstood.


Also, I heard a theory that autists hate other autists when they meet irl, like the only thing that they have in common is the 'tism, but then their stubbornness clashes and they get into heated arguments about their own ideas so even that part of socialization can be off limits. I'm not sure if Autistic woman + Autistic woman is the same way, probably is.

 

[Kat Kommander]

As a female autist with the most "male" autistic traits who was diagnosed very early in my childhood I can say that "female" and "male" autism is a myth. Girls and women usually get diagnosed less and later in their lives because there is still a huge stereotype which associates autism with boys, and usually parents care about their sons more than daughters. My auntie who was clearly autistic had an official diagnosis of some unspecified brain damage and "allalia" (speech disorder) because at that time doctors in my country were still portraying autism as a "male illness" despite her very autistic behaviour. And there are still many other myths about ASD going around now like "it's from the vaccines" or "autism disappears in adulthood".

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

I'm self centered like that, I throw my voice out in the aether and wait till someone picks up on it, fixing their lives in the process, receiving eternal grattitude. I'm not being condescending I'm just placing myself on a pedestal above you and talking down.

You're self aware that you're not welcomed. Fuck off

 

[Wilson The Ball]

What the fuck is a SWERF? I was called one by a tranny and I had to double take that they didn't equate me to a blue cartoon mushroom

 

[glass_houses]

What the fuck is a SWERF? I was called one by a tranny and I had to double take that they didn't equate me to a blue cartoon mushroom

Sex Work Exclusionary Radical Feminist, iirc. Instead of "sex work is real work", SWERFs believe that all sex work is harmful, exploitive, predatory, and should be illegal, with all johns and pimps being punished with the full force of the law.

 

[ihavequestions]

I debated whether to post this or not. This touches on issues I've been shame conditioned to deny/ignore. I don't think i've even ever verbalized some of this. But here it is, apologies for length. I also feel compelled to add SLIGHT PL and spoilers to this post . . . can you guess why?

Spoiler: 10 PRINT 'Hello World'

From an early age my mother knew something was wrong. I would rarely speak, flat affect when I did, refused to make eye contact, or acknowledge other humans existed. Other oddities emerged:

• different foods MUST be separated ensuring they never touch
• a VERY noticeable vocal tick - requires active control
• facial blindness
• order was apex - same dinner for each day of the week, meltdown if changed (Tues - meatloaf, Wed - baked chicken, etc)
• certain clothes on my skin would drive me crazy
• sound at certain frequencies would cause me to go into a screaming crisis
• self harm when overstimulated (digging nails into my skin, pinching myself, punching/banging head/body, burning, etc)
  

I was drawn to anything electric. I would spend hours silently disassembling and rebuilding any powered object available. For me it was bliss, but Mum, knowing the world, worried. She would attempt to regulate the time I spent on my 'preferred activity' and steer me toward more 'traditionally feminine coded' activities. Epic meltdowns ensued. My grandma was convinced I was the devil and ordered Mum to re-baptize me ASAP. She did. It didn't help. In hindsight I understand why people thought I was a Child of the Corn minus the Albinism.

Spoiler: 20 PRINT 'Error Log'

After detailing her concerns with my (male) pediatrician I was referred to a 'specialist'. I spent the first session ignoring her and rearranging the VERY disordered bookshelf by title (I now know better ways exist). She immediately diagnosed me with OCD and selective mutism and 'therapy' began. Not sure how I didn't get a BPD dx also since it was all the rage back then. Therapy did not help. You can imagine how well forced "Imaginative Play" went with an autist. Mum noped out after seeing no real progress. She researched and decided to dedicate our every interaction to teaching camouflaging techniques in a myriad of forced social interactions/situations. Without realizing she immersed me into a Denver Model type of home therapy. As I headed into adolescence I started becoming self aware of just how different I was from others and my behavior worsened.

Spoiler: 30 PRINT 'Syntax Warning'

In elementary I performed well enough academically to be considered gifted. TAG kids in my school were grouped in the same advanced classes and segmented from gen pop mainstream kids. This insulated me from what I'm sure would have been an awful experience. I began to better understand the social contract between homo sapiens. Mum's masking and parroting lessons began to take root when I learned the benefits of 'blending' and the freedom gained from engaging in the charade. Basically people will keep a close eye on the square peg, but if that square peg can squeeze into the round hole eyes will divert elsewhere, normally onto other square pegs.

'One must not raise even the slightest bit of suspicion or have aspersions cast that they are not normal.' -Grandma. I still remember this and she's been dead for years.

Although it was exhausting, masking and flying under the radar slowly became my new normal. I found better strategies to deal with emotional dysregulation. Life was starting to be stable.

Spoiler: 40 PRINT 'Input Mismatch'

Puberty drastically changed things. My body developed quickly and that brought unwanted male and female attention. It flipped the entire coordinate plane. Positive values were suddenly negative, and everything familiar was transformed by a reflection over the x-axis. I had learned to tolerate small bits of social engagement. T & A upped male interpersonal engagements dramatically. The women in my family tried to explain love, relationships, etc but they might as well have been speaking in Mandarin. I was lost again and had returned to previous bad habits (escalating self harm). Again I was labeled weird because flirting was foreign to me. I would literally start talking about the newest chipset, my Solaris box, or some other inappropriate shit. By the end of my freshman year I had a reputation of being 'cute', but a sped. One boy, in front of everyone said something like "You have a great body, to bad your a tard." I remember being angry at myself for standing out and letting everyone see my shame. My Mum and Grandma had warned me. Don't be different, dont stand out, be normal and I failed.

Spoiler: 50 PRINT 'If..Then..Else'

I was fortunate to grow up in a smallish town and be a part of a large family. Mum only had two children, but her brothers and sisters were like Catholic bunnies. My family tried to insulate me from some of the treatment people who 'color outside the lines' get. My popular relatives did their best to shield me and ice out/threaten assholes. I picked up new blending techniques and started to gain a basic awareness about the intentions of the opposite sex attention. I started slowly getting back on track.

Spoiler: 60 PRINT 'Debug Mode and Install Patch 1.0'

By my sophomore year I met a boy, who I had known all my life (re: face blindness). He was nothing like me and shared none of my interests. He was a C level popularity football player. I used to help the AP Geo/Calc teacher (secondary coach) scout, review, analyze film, and perform some stat computation. One day after a film session I randomly said to the boy "they like to use their tight end to prop up the turnstile at right guard." He said something like 'I didn't think you knew my name and I'll get a sack for you." I was confused, but smarter in matters of the heart so I nodded and said 'great'. When he saw the TE release he would hit the gap on the delay and get good pressure and had a hit or two, but no sack. Being the autist I am I had to let him know he in fact did not get a sack. He basically told me thats not an appropriate thing to say and that he had a lot of work to do with me. It was the first time I had a connected with a male non-relative. We started 'dating' the next day. Gaining status from the relationship definitely helped me. Other male attention ceased, the freak label gradually faded away, and I started fitting in again.

Spoiler: 70 PRINT 'Next'

No ragrets, ok some ragrets

• Mum got short sticked - Robbed of typical mother daughter dynamic/experiences. We did the things (hair/nails/sewing/going to rom coms/picking prom dresses/etc) but there was no reciprocity. She instructed I performed. She was a cheerleader, on the homecoming court, had a successful cotillion debut, popular, etc., but had the bad luck to have an alien for a child.
  
  
• Shallow range/depth of human emotions - Best way I can put it is I don't think I have ever felt emotions described like in a love song. It is still foreign even though I feel I 'love' some people. It's like a missing connection, or an incomplete circuit that can’t quite close the loop. The emptiness persists. Agape is something I will never experience.
  
  
• Imposter Syndrome - A schism exists between who I am and the mimic. The more effort I put into the 'normal LARP' the more detached from myself I become. Understanding and participating in social norms exhausts me more now and aging has caused the mask to slowly started slipping. I'm not as sharp with controlling it as I used to be. Old habits/behaviors surface.
  
  
• Telltale signs of the eternal autist - I still have the same issues. I have just gotten better at coping techniques. There are still days where meltdowns are inevitable. As an adult now I have a space I can go to not sperg out in front of people. Disordered fixations are still hard to control. When I am not careful people pick up on them quickly.

Spoiler: 30 PRINT 'End'

My emotional maturity is/was far behind my peers. Immersive training with constant repitition helped me become exceptionally good at mimicking. So much that I was/am able to form tangential relationships with NTs. I wouldn't use the term friendships although they have/do. In my case constant repetitive early intervention was a net positive. I've seen other cases where overbearing parents have tried this and broke their autists brain.

Happy to have found the thread (well, most of it) and apologies for the text wall. It's interesting to learn that other similar experiences. There are clear patterns and common threads in all these stories. I’ve always felt isolated, but I never considered that there might be other femitists/femauts(?) out there navigating the same disconnect.

 

[NoReturn]

What the fuck is a SWERF? I was called one by a tranny and I had to double take that they didn't equate me to a blue cartoon mushroom

Sex Work Exclusionary Radical Feminist, iirc. Instead of "sex work is real work", SWERFs believe that all sex work is harmful, exploitive, predatory, and should be illegal, with all johns and pimps being punished with the full force of the law.

It's such a weird little pair of slurs because originally "radical feminism" just meant "I believe the root cause of differences between men and women is sex and not societally-imposed 'gender'." and by that definition it would be trans-exclusionary by nature. Like saying "Oh this color is an orange-exclusive blue".
People heard "radical" and took that to mean "extreme"/unreasonable/etc.

Similarly, SWERF is the interaction between "Women should be free to do what they want!" and "Women are more likely to be exploited in this specific way."

 

[fist_of_khonshu]

Ladies, do you guys ever get hype fixated on a specific character so much for comfort that you start to embody their traits or am I just mega autistic and lonely?

 

[bigfatfujoshi]

Ladies, do you guys ever get hype fixated on a specific character so much for comfort that you start to embody their traits or am I just mega autistic and lonely?

lol, no way im the same! I deeply love william clarke from whos lila.

 

[Arbiter]

I'm not sure if I have autism. Sometimes I wonder if I do, but probably not. It's probably just in my head because of the trendy push that nerdy/weird + obsessive interests + sensory issues = autism. I don't see what good getting an official diagnosis would do me, other than sate my curiosity.

 

[Dawdler]

Just tossing this in: Female autism is not equal to male autism. Autistic females are still pretty functional and don't stand out like sore thumb.

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

Just tossing this in: Female autism is not equal to male autism. Autistic females are still pretty functional and don't stand out like sore thumb.

That’s because they are diagnosing every woman and her dog these days in the political push to equalise the ratio of male-female autists.

Females with real autism are just as disabled as moids.

 

[Lemmingwiser]

A lot of people think I'm rude for being honest.

I followed the Chris Voss course where he teaches how to do hostage negotiation. He said, and I think it can be accurate, that the truth can be violence. Like a punch in the face.

The reason why non autists are less honest is that we feel some of the pain we cause when we're being honest. Like when I was a teenager I asked a middle aged woman why she didn't have any children. I remember the pain in her face as she mumbled out an answer. We all can cause pain in people with our lack of social awareness. Non autists see the face, feel some semblance of the pain themselves and avoid creating the same situation in the future.

--

I don't know if female autism is overdiagnosed or not, but the two friends I have who were diagnosed with it, it seems quite accurate. It's less noticable for a number of reasons. They are less people focused than non-autistic women, but still more so than even non-autistic moids.

Both male and female autists tend to mask it, but the latter are far better at it.

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

Not being female (less a troon, rolf) but one of the main things autistics have as base is socialization.
For me, being social is not priority. I prefer playing games and helping my mother.

 

[Esope]

As a autistic woman I will never understand why people lie all the time about the stupidest shit. Can a normal person explain to me why?

I absolutely hate to lie and I've experienced much hate for not embellishing my comments. A lot of people think I'm rude for being honest. At the end of the day I dont really care if they like me or not but it's been very hard finding female friends that are not sensitive and understand that I'm not mean just very honest and what I say I mean literally, no double meaning.

can relate, pisses me off but hey some people can't let truth ruin a good story it seems (im a guy)

 

[Dawdler]

It is so you (girls) don't get killed.
Go away, You are fucking ugly -> I have a boyfriend
No, I don't want to go out with you tonight -> I am visiting my grandmother/friend/sister
I don't want to give you my name/instagram/whatever -> I don't use that app
I don't want a drink/food from you -> I'm full
No, I don't need you to drive me home -> A friend is picking me up
You are fucking creepy -> I have to go feed cats

You never know with what kind of psycho you are dealing and that's why.