r/AmITheAsshole / AITA

[Amber the Hedgehog]

Walking off without your newborn baby is really unusual, and I think it is quite possible she has PPD. If he's doing the majority of the housework, it is likely a new thing in light of the child. She legit sounds like she is having a breakdown.

This was my first thought too. Hormones, physical trauma and other things going on in woman's body after birth can mess the head really badly. Good thing is though that PPD is very treatable. I think this is something that he needs put his foot down and make her get cheacked out medical professionals. This or anything else like this can't happen again because she clear isn't behaving rationally. What if she was alone with baby and just left him alone or worse hurt him? What she did was no way okey and getting mad about it doesn't make the dad an asshole.

 

[Section230]

Maybe the dad has some kind of mental disorder and the mom is in perfect mental health? Who fucking knows, why is everyone just giving the woman the benefit of the doubt?

No, don't dump your kid unexpectedly on your husband in the middle of a planned conference call while he's fucking working then take off for 4 hours without your phone. That's selfish.

 

[Buer]

Women really can do no wrong in soy eyes, huh. I'd say the only questionable thing he did was "yell", which isn't that big a deal and is very understandable in this kind of situation. Giving women a free pass on account of "PPD" is so scummy and disgusting, as if women shouldn't be held accountable even when they murder their kids.

I wonder how many of these male feminists are married or have children, or had married parents growing up.

Poor dude.

I can guarantee that most of the posters there are women. And I don't know much about PPD but he could try getting her some help and if it doesn't work he could divorce her I guess. Though the help would require her okay for it to do any good.

 

[Shield Breaker]

This was my first thought too. Hormones, physical trauma and other things going on in woman's body after birth can mess the head really badly. Good thing is though that PPD is very treatable. I think this is something that he needs put his foot down and make her get cheacked out medical professionals. This or anything else like this can't happen again because she clear isn't behaving rationally. What if she was alone with baby and just left him alone or worse hurt him? What she did was no way okey and getting mad about it doesn't make the dad an asshole.

I completely agree. I just think the 'what if it was a man' posts are dumb.

Because humans treat men and women differently in the same situations. Should we? That's beyond the scope of this thread, but I guarantee the responses would've been different in this situation if they were flipped.

When it is caused by said biological differences? Yes.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

I completely agree. I just think the 'what if it was a man' posts are dumb.

Because humans treat men and women differently in the same situations. Should we? That's beyond the scope of this thread, but I guarantee the responses would've been different in this situation if they were flipped.

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

Because humans treat men and women differently in the same situations. Should we? That's beyond the scope of this thread, but I guarantee the responses would've been different in this situation if they were flipped.

With a new baby it's not really a double standard tough. Pregnancy and giving birth are unlike anything the dad goes trough and do pretty brutal things to body including the brain. It's not just foggy brain do lack of sleep and getting used to change in live style but storm changing hormones and healing from damage that was necessary get the baby out of her. It's recommended to wait year and half after a baby before trying a sibling because that's how long it takes for mom's body to really recover and balance out before it's ready for new healthy pregnancy.

 

[Buer]

Maybe the dad has some kind of mental disorder and the mom is in perfect mental health? Who fucking knows, why is everyone just giving the woman the benefit of the doubt?

No, don't dump your kid unexpectedly on your husband in the middle of a planned conference call while he's fucking working then take off for 4 hours without your phone. That's selfish.

There are a lot of women and moms in that thread that's why the mom is being left off the hook. I know taking care of a child is hard and so is PPD but she should at least be able to tell her husband what's going through her mind atm. Like when she came back she could've explained it to him why she did that at least. Depression's a bitch normally and having PPD probably sucks worse but from the post her communication skills really suck(his do too kinda but not as much as hers). She had four hours to calm down and think of what she was going to say to her husband to explain why she did that before she came back and she really only said she needed a break. Didn't explain really explain why in detail she needed to do that to him and couldn't unload the kid on someone else but maybe that's also apart of the PPD. Who knows really.

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

There are a lot of women and moms in that thread that's why the mom is being left off the hook. I know taking care of a child is hard and so is PPD but she should at least be able to tell her husband what's going through her mind atm. Like when she came back she could've explained it to him why she did that at least. Depression's a bitch normally and having PPD probably sucks worse but from the post her communication skills really suck(his do too kinda but not as much as hers). She had four hours to calm down and think of what she was going to say to her husband to explain why she did that before she came back and she really only said she needed a break. Didn't explain really explain why in detail she needed to do that to him and couldn't unload the kid on someone else but maybe that's also apart of the PPD. Who knows really.

Unfortunately PPD is just depression it can turn into psychosis, although this is luckily quite rare. Even if it's not that serious it still depression plus sleep depration, high stress and physical pain. Even with regular depression it can be hard for the person themselves to figure out that as their energy tends to just getting trough day and all people have some down periods in life. I'm saying this not to let her off the hook, what she did was definitely not cool, but to fix situations you need know where the problem is. When it's with the brain, the part of us that does trouble shooting, people tend to need it pointed out to them so her not seeing the issue isn't that unreasonable. Still she needs to do her part now that it's clear she not coping, listen her husband, go to the doctors and take the help like medication, therapy and family services.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

Because humans treat men and women differently in the same situations. Should we? That's beyond the scope of this thread, but I guarantee the responses would've been different in this situation if they were flipped.

If reddit has taught me anything, it's that literally any antisocial, despicable, irresponsible or deviant behavior will have someone excusing it because "muh mental health." Not saying PPD doesn't real or anything like that of course.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

If reddit has taught me anything, it's that literally any antisocial, despicable, irresponsible or deviant behavior will have someone excusing it because "muh mental health." Not saying PPD doesn't real or anything like that of course.

PPD is such an easy scapegoat for women. It's their get out of jail free card and I guess I'm a terrible person for casting a shadow of doubt over this woman. As far as I know the only time a mental illness excuses someone from responsibility is when they're literally retarded.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

PPD is such an easy scapegoat for women. It's their get out of jail free card and I guess I'm a terrible person for casting a shadow of doubt over this woman.

Not necessarily, it's one extra piece of shit that women can sling at the wall to justify garbage behavior sure, but it's not like both sexes don't have their share of idiots who use their (often fake to top it off) mental health diagnoses as a shield. I believe PPD is legit but much like regular depression (or any other mental health condition really) it's not being an asshole to call out people whose behavior needs calling out.

 

[off meds / online]

fwiw, the top comment was NTA and acknowledged that she seriously fucked him over and potentially got him in serious trouble at work. as far as the ppd/ppp theory goes, there's really not enough info in the post to know for sure. it depends on whether or not this is something in character for the wife. it's strange fucking behavior to be sure, but we don't know if it's strange for her in particular.

 

[Section230]

Not necessarily, it's one extra piece of shit that women can sling at the wall to justify garbage behavior sure, but it's not like both sexes don't have their share of idiots who use their (often fake to top it off) mental health diagnoses as a shield. I believe PPD is legit but much like regular depression (or any other mental health condition really) it's not being an asshole to call out people whose behavior needs calling out.

This is certainly true.

I know more than one man who uses their "Bipolar" or "OCD" as an excuse to be assholes. But generally, people aren't terribly sympathetic.

 

[Cosmos]

 

[No. 7 cat]

Farmers and processors of soy must so glad places like Reddit exist.

 

[Ice Mountain]

This post has been making the rounds on Twitter lately and artists have been chimping out over it. I get it, but I do wonder what the finished product looked like and if OP was satisfied with it, or if he's just being an autist.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

He's being an autist, if it had anything to do with quality it would've been mentioned. He just feels like it should've taken longer, yet he knew the price and general quality of the art before he paid so it's all on him.

 

[Captain Fitzbattleaxe]

I can see his point, there's a massive difference between art valued at 30 dollars an hour and something worth 10 dollars an hour.

 

[exhausted]

its autistic as fuck, but id kinda understand if he got something from someone like tearzah, who puts subzero effort into expensive pieces

 

[Ashen One]

I can see his point, there's a massive difference between art valued at 30 dollars an hour and something worth 10 dollars an hour.

I see the point but disagree. There are jobs you pay per hour of work but commissioning art isn't one of them. You're paying the artist a fixed price agreed by both parties beforehand for the finished product, not for the time they spend working on your commission.

If there was a problem with the art or it didn't look good OP would be in the right to complain it was rushed. They could have asked the artist to fix it if there was something they didn't like. But they don't say that in the text and are apparently ok with the finished art, they're just annoyed it was delivered fast.