r/AmITheAsshole / AITA

Livecorpse said:
Am I the asshole for going out of my way to stalk my daughter?

r/AmItheAsshole - AITA for keeping an emergency family iphone secretly hidden in the car my daughter drives so I can always track the location of the car?

12,428 votes and 2,486 comments so far on Reddit
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Well the cat’s out of the bag on this one, but it doesn’t matter because now I have justification to reinstate previous, more stringent cell phone rules.

My daughter is 16 and as most 16 year olds, she has her own phone with less parental control. But I still have sensible rules like no turning off iphone tracking, always answer my texts or calls immediately or within a reasonable time frame when not in school or practice, no dead battery excuses. But I know teenagers can be sneaky, so I have a backup tracking plan that I keep secret from her. I have an extra older version iphone on my family plan that I use as an emergency phone. I hide this phone somewhere in the car that I let my daughter drive, kept on silent. It’s always charged so I can track it when my daughter is out.

This past weekend, my daughter told me she was going to her friend Brett’s house to prepare for an academic competition and an oratory event. When I checked on her iphone and the secret iphone, the locations matched up. She was at her friend’s house. After dinner, I checked again. Curiously, her iphone’s location was at her friend’s house, but my secret iphone was clearly in downtown near all the bars and nightlife. I called my daughter and she told me everything was fine, including the car.

I drove to my car’s find iphone location to see if maybe it was wrong, and eventually found my car parked along the street near the LGBT night life area. I called Brett’s father (Brett’s parents are divorced and the dad does not live with Brett, and Brett’s mom had the night shift so I called the dad).

Before Brett’s dad got there, I walked around asking the bouncers at the bars if they had seen my daughter or her friend (I showed them photos). I finally talked to one who remembered turning away my daughter and Brett earlier in the night for trying to use fake IDs. I was livid. I wandered the area and eventually found my daughter and Brett hanging out at a coffee house. I waited for Brett’s dad to park before going in. I asked him what his understanding of the situation was, and he told me as far as his ex told him, the kids were supposed to be at home doing prep work for a oratory competition.

I told Brett’s dad where I was and he and I walked into the cafe together to retrieve our kids. After we returned home, my daughter confessed to trying to sneak into a gay club with Brett, who apparently is closeted to his parents and school. She was most upset that I outed Brett to his parents this way. But she has not given me any reason to trust her or her friend Brett given their behavior this weekend.

Stricter rules are on the way. She continues to think I am the biggest villain in her entire world but really, if I hadn’t installed an emergency phone in the car, I wouldn’t have known the shenanigans these two were up to under the guise of studying. Sure, I violated her and Brett’s privacy, but I feel it’s justified.
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I’m late on this, but it’s clearly fake:
Curiously, her iphone’s location was at her friend’s house, but my secret iphone was clearly in downtown near all the bars and nightlife. I called my daughter and she told me everything was fine, including the car.

called and talked to his daughter on the cellphone she didn’t have with her? That’s a pretty impressive phone.
 
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Screw Danlon said:
I’m late on this, but it’s clearly fake:
Curiously, her iphone’s location was at her friend’s house, but my secret iphone was clearly in downtown near all the bars and nightlife. I called my daughter and she told me everything was fine, including the car.

called and talked to his daughter on the cellphone she didn’t have with her? That’s a pretty impressive phone.
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Actually that part is easy to explain. You can set many phones to transfer calls automatically from one phone to another. My dad had his work phone to do this before dual sim phones so he didn't have have two phones with him but had keep work and personal on separate bills. So she could have left her phone at friend's place but set it transfer calls to said friend's phone to avoid daddy catching her either from location tracking or not anwering.
 
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Shield Breaker said:
PPD fucks with your brain. You're expecting someone who is having a mental health crisis to act rationally.
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Amber the Hedgehog said:
This was my first thought too. Hormones, physical trauma and other things going on in woman's body after birth can mess the head really badly. Good thing is though that PPD is very treatable. I think this is something that he needs put his foot down and make her get cheacked out medical professionals. This or anything else like this can't happen again because she clear isn't behaving rationally. What if she was alone with baby and just left him alone or worse hurt him? What she did was no way okey and getting mad about it doesn't make the dad an asshole.
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PPD, also known as something that doesn't exist, also known as using your Hypochondriasis as an excuse to be a moody bitch that refuses to raise her own kids.
JP's_Canadian_Cider said:
Please, tell us more about how these mean, liberal internet sites make you feel. We are all dying to hear your hot take.
EDIT: This is not the place to get into slapfights. Lurk more.
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Sinners Sandwich said:
Butthurt much? Stop taking everything you read on the internet seriously, faggot.
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Please, dont' argue, you're both fucking morons.
 
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nohull said:
PPD, also known as something that doesn't exist, also known as using your Hypochondriasis as an excuse to be a moody bitch that refuses to raise her own kids.


Please, dont' argue, you're both fucking morons.
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Yes, clearly you and your edgelord podcast friends know better than the entire psychiatric establishment, which recognized PPD even back in the good ol' Victorian days when women were viewed as a kind of defective man.
 
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Bleh, this thread is ruined by all the fake post. While the story is 100% believable, deleting a video game or something along those lines is something a parent would do., it just feels so "perfect" of a crime, as if they knew exactly who their audience was.

The only way that story could be anymore designed to rev up the reddit manchildren, was if the minecraft world also had a dog in it or proof that Bernie Sanders would have won over Trump in the coming election.
 
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JP's_Canadian_Cider said:
Bleh, this thread is ruined by all the fake post. While the story is 100% believable, deleting a video game or something along those lines is something a parent would do., it just feels so "perfect" of a crime, as if they knew exactly who their audience was.

The only way that story could be anymore designed to rev up the reddit manchildren, was if the minecraft world also had a dog in it or proof that Bernie Sanders would have won over Trump in the coming election.
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This motherfucker didn't even have an abusive childhood, what a nerd.
 
Why is AITA so weird about nudity?

They seem to think that if you’re in your own yard, you have the absolute right to be naked and nobody should have a problem with this, even if you’re easily visible. Same with you being naked in front of your windows that other people can easily see into and you shouldn’t have to buy curtains. Surely most of these people are Americans, so they must know this is going to be weird in the US.

Or the time when a girl was totally naked in a dorm bathroom and people were like ‘oh it’s just Americans who hate nudity’. But a dorm bathroom isn’t a gym (where the expectation is that everyone is showering/changing), it’s a regular bathroom that people use throughout the day while clothed that also has showers. But perhaps I am just a weird American.
 
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Crunchy Leaf said:
Why is AITA so weird about nudity?

They seem to think that if you’re in your own yard, you have the absolute right to be naked and nobody should have a problem with this, even if you’re easily visible. Same with you being naked in front of your windows that other people can easily see into and you shouldn’t have to buy curtains. Surely most of these people are Americans, so they must know this is going to be weird in the US.

Or the time when a girl was totally naked in a dorm bathroom and people were like ‘oh it’s just Americans who hate nudity’. But a dorm bathroom isn’t a gym (where the expectation is that everyone is showering/changing), it’s a regular bathroom that people use throughout the day while clothed that also has showers. But perhaps I am just a weird American.
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What is done in personal space can have effect on shared spaces and other people so some social rules apply. If you are doing something that others find very uncomfortable, it's not unreasonable ask you keep it down. They aren't, after all, asking you not to do it at all, just modify that others can ignore you easily. For example, making/listening to music. If you can keep the noise confined, go nuts but if it spreads, others have right to judge you.
 
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Crunchy Leaf said:
Why is AITA so weird about nudity?

They seem to think that if you’re in your own yard, you have the absolute right to be naked and nobody should have a problem with this, even if you’re easily visible. Same with you being naked in front of your windows that other people can easily see into and you shouldn’t have to buy curtains. Surely most of these people are Americans, so they must know this is going to be weird in the US.

Or the time when a girl was totally naked in a dorm bathroom and people were like ‘oh it’s just Americans who hate nudity’. But a dorm bathroom isn’t a gym (where the expectation is that everyone is showering/changing), it’s a regular bathroom that people use throughout the day while clothed that also has showers. But perhaps I am just a weird American.
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i think 99% of this is virtue signaling for approval from the sex-positive hivemind
'i am open minded and progressive, unlike those backwards puritan prudes!'

cause i really fucking doubt that a significant amount of redditors walk around nude in their front yard
 
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Amber the Hedgehog said:
What is done in personal space can have effect on shared spaces and other people so some social rules ably. If you are doing something that others find very uncomfortable, it's not unreasonable ask you keep it down. They aren't afterall asking you not to do it at all, just modify that others can ignore you easily. For example making listening music. If you can keep the noice confined, go nuts but if it spreads, others have right to judge you.
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Yeah there’s also issues when people’s roommates get partners who aren’t cool with the minimal clothing thing.
DumbDude42 said:
i think 99% of this is virtue signaling for approval from the sex-positive hivemind
'i am open minded and progressive, unlike those backwards puritan prudes!'

cause i really fucking doubt that a significant amount of redditors walk around nude in their front yard
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Also, I get that in parts of Europe mixed-gender nude sauna attendance is fine, but I am extremely skeptical that Europeans are (outside of bathing/swimming) as cool with nudity as AITA thinks. Also the idea that America is somehow uniquely prudish when there’s countries where women can’t show anything but their eyes.
 
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Crunchy Leaf said:
in parts of Europe mixed-gender nude sauna attendance is fine
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i dont know where this idea comes from tbh, its a very niche thing and not at all normal

its like saying that there are a few nudist beaches, therefor going nude in public is a normal thing in europe? but that's not at all how it works, those are very small and fringe things and the vast majority of people in those countries have absolutely nothing to do with it, and public nudity can and will still get you in trouble with the law outside these dedicated spaces.
 
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DumbDude42 said:
i dont know where this idea comes from tbh, its a very niche thing and not at all normal

its like saying that there are a few nudist beaches, therefor going nude in public is a normal thing in europe? but that's not at all how it works, those are very small and fringe things and the vast majority of people in those countries have absolutely nothing to do with it, and public nudity can and will still get you in trouble with the law outside these dedicated spaces.
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Is it? The sauna near my home is mixed-gender. I've seen both girls and boys walk around shirtless on the beach or in the pool. I've seen women sunbathe on public beaches with their breasts out. Public nudity outside of that is pretty frowned upon though, obviously.
 
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DumbDude42 said:
i dont know where this idea comes from tbh, its a very niche thing and not at all normal

its like saying that there are a few nudist beaches, therefor going nude in public is a normal thing in europe? but that's not at all how it works, those are very small and fringe things and the vast majority of people in those countries have absolutely nothing to do with it, and public nudity can and will still get you in trouble with the law outside these dedicated spaces.
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I always see people from Sweden saying they go to the sauna with male and female friends.
vertexwindi said:
Is it? The sauna near my home is mixed-gender. I've seen both girls and boys walk around shirtless on the beach or in the pool. I've seen women sunbathe on public beaches with their breasts out. Public nudity outside of that is pretty frowned upon though, obviously.
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well of course also Europe is a big and culturally diverse place. AITA thinks all of America is super conservative and all of Europe is super liberal because the only places they’ve been to is the podunk town in Iowa they grew up in and Amsterdam on their gap year.
 
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