r/polyamory

I mean what did they think was going to happen? Also, took a glance at the new posts... lol.

bi guy.PNGbi guy 2.PNGnew.PNG
 
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Mein Garten said:
I mean what did they think was going to happen? Also, took a glance at the new posts... lol.

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He should have stopped at "boundaries .... I might be down for a one-night stand three way situation."

His idea of "boundaries" include letting a third party into their bed, screwing around, then cutting him or her out. Who the hell would want to be the tomato, in the middle of a long-standing meat sandwich? And just for an evening?

Let me guess .... he doesn't grasp why his girlfriend fails to see him as a steady rock, and sexuality as private and exclusive, between them.

His girlfriend tells him that she wants to experiment with lesbian relationships, yet clearly wants his support and the safety of a heterosexual relationship.

Let me guess ... The concepts of "self-respect" and "imposing limits" are workarounds.

All I can say, is that you get what you bargain for.
 
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Holden Caulfield said:
Polyamory only works in polygamist sex cults, or 1970s comedy troupes/arts collectives where everyone is on coke and fucking one another.
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Both of those things still generate a fuck ton of drama. I used to know somebody who escaped one of the Mormon-adjacent polygamist cults as a teenager and apparently it was constant game of thrones-tier backstabbing and shit talking between the wives in his family as they vied for his dad's affection and approval.
 
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MakeItRain said:
Both of those things still generate a fuck ton of drama. I used to know somebody who escaped one of the Mormon-adjacent polygamist cults as a teenager and apparently it was constant game of thrones-tier backstabbing and shit talking between the wives in his family as they vied for his dad's affection and approval.
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Back in the nineties there was a movie about this in China, called Raise the Red Lantern. The man had I think three or four wives. He routinely beat the shit out of them. And they were always stabbing each other in the back as they tried to get in his favor.
 
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I think that the number one reason it's easier to have an open relationship with hookups than a commited polyamorous relationship with multiple people is that in the open relationship, you have little to no attachment to the hookups. It's casual enough your emotional energy is still focused on one person. But in polyamory, you have to divide your emotional energy to multiple people, and inevtably this won't be equal, as people will pick favorites and this will cause strife.
 
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queerape said:
I think that the number one reason it's easier to have an open relationship with hookups than a commited polyamorous relationship with multiple people is that in the open relationship, you have little to no attachment to the hookups. It's casual enough your emotional energy is still focused on one person. But in polyamory, you have to divide your emotional energy to multiple people, and inevtably this won't be equal, as people will pick favorites and this will cause strife.
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Can somebody please shed light, on why a couple would even desire a hookup, in any way shape or form? If your emotional energy is focused on only one person, why is somebody else in your bed?

The advantage of having a monogamous relationship, is that you have a sex partner at your beck and call. How much sex, can a person take? If you want somebody else between your legs, why are you wasting your time with your (apparently) insignificant other? S/he is obviously lacking something, that a third party has to offer. Why waste your time with any of it?

Find the right person, behave properly from the get-go, so that Mr. or Ms. Right does not see you as a would-be cheater.

Or be a whore and take in a multiman soup.

As for men, be prepared for a lot of hurt feelings and drama.
 
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Non-Expert! said:
Can somebody please shed light, on why a couple would even desire a hookup, in any way shape or form? If your emotional energy is focused on only one person, why is somebody else in your bed?

The advantage of having a monogamous relationship, is that you have a sex partner at your beck and call. How much sex, can a person take? If you want somebody else between your legs, why are you wasting your time with your (apparently) insignificant other? S/he is obviously lacking something, that a third party has to offer. Why waste your time with any of it?

Find the right person, behave properly from the get-go, so that Mr. or Ms. Right does not see you as a would-be cheater.

Or be a whore and take in a multiman soup.

As for men, be prepared for a lot of hurt feelings and drama.
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The hypothesis I would offer is some people are more able to divorce sex from emotional intimacy. They are more able to see sex as a physical, impersonal need compared to more personalized emotional needs. The vast majority of people see sex as emotional too, but some people see it as a physical need only. There are cases where one partner is asexual too, and allows the other one to have sex outside the relationship as they can meet romantic and emotional needs but not sexual.
 
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queerape said:
The hypothesis I would offer is some people are more able to divorce sex from emotional intimacy. They are more able to see sex as a physical, impersonal need compared to more personalized emotional needs. The vast majority of people see sex as emotional too, but some people see it as a physical need only. There are cases where one partner is asexual too, and allows the other one to have sex outside the relationship as they can meet romantic and emotional needs but not sexual.
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But even in such a case, if you have a sex partner on hand, why are you looking for another one? If you want a sexual release with no connection, beat off ... All of this is needlessly complicated. The other thing, is that the "hookup" also has feelings. And the chemistry brought you together is necessarily emotional.

People will figure it out, I hope.
 
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behavioral swamp thang said:
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I love this idea of being unable to revert to a closed relationship. They always say "let's TRY being open", yet when one party wants to close it again, the other doesn't want to. Clearly they are addicted to the attention they get, but also cling onto being a decent human being by wanting the first lover around.

It's not the fact she's fucking 15 times a month that bothers him, it's the fact she's now swung from being in his favor to her own, and actively talk to him as if he's wrong for feeling insecure after she went "Are you sure? Really? 100%? Super sure? OKAYBYEGONNAFUCKCHAD". What a despicable woman. If it's meant to be all sex no love with the others, why is she hesitant to close it in again?

"I'm ugly" proceeds to get as much dick as she wants. Testament to how all the female parts in these scenarios play out. The few times the men get more sex, Projared for example, the women lose their shit.
 
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queerape said:
The hypothesis I would offer is some people are more able to divorce sex from emotional intimacy. They are more able to see sex as a physical, impersonal need compared to more personalized emotional needs. The vast majority of people see sex as emotional too, but some people see it as a physical need only. There are cases where one partner is asexual too, and allows the other one to have sex outside the relationship as they can meet romantic and emotional needs but not sexual.
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Why do people who are asexual date people who aren’t? This comes up on r/polyamory all the time and I don’t get it.
 
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queerape said:
The hypothesis I would offer is some people are more able to divorce sex from emotional intimacy. They are more able to see sex as a physical, impersonal need compared to more personalized emotional needs. The vast majority of people see sex as emotional too, but some people see it as a physical need only. There are cases where one partner is asexual too, and allows the other one to have sex outside the relationship as they can meet romantic and emotional needs but not sexual.
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So, you're saying they're emotionally rețarded?
 
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Crunchy Leaf said:
Why do people who are asexual date people who aren’t? This comes up on r/polyamory all the time and I don’t get it.
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A large number of people who claim to be asexual likely got into the relationship, then fell out of love with the person but wants to keep all of the benefits from having someone who can pay at least half (probably more) of all their stuff, so they claim to be asexual so they can keep using them without having to put out for someone they don't want to sleep with anymore.
 
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