Racist Jokes for an Old Lady - A humble request for street jokes

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Rick's Beef Wellington

Rick's Beef Wellington

Not How Oopsie Doodles Work
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 31, 2023
So my father died a couple of months back, and last week my mother told me that he used to call his mother every Sunday to tell her jokes. "The Black ones were her favorite."

I want to pick up the tradition but I've never been good at remembering street jokes. "What did the Black kid get for Christmas? My bike," is about as far as I go so it'd be a pretty short call. Seeing as I am here among experts I thought I'd throw out a request. Got any racist jokes that a nice lady in her 80s might like?
 
Jesus, you know things are bad when you google for racist jokes and get this:

Screenshot 2023-10-29 at 00.29.10.jpg

What happened to the fucking Internet. At least it's not a message saying "the anti-racist police have been dispatched to your house"... yet.
 
Rick's Beef Wellington said:
So my father died a couple of months back, and last week my mother told me that he used to call his mother every Sunday to tell her jokes. "The Black ones were her favorite."

I want to pick up the tradition but I've never been good at remembering street jokes. "What did the Black kid get for Christmas? My bike,"
Click to expand...


Are YOU the old lady or does the story INVOLVE an old lady?

 
Something Awful said:
Jesus, you know things are bad when you google for racist jokes and get this:

View attachment 5449089

What happened to the fucking Internet. At least it's not a message saying "the anti-racist police have been dispatched to your house"... yet.
Click to expand...
You have to finesse the search results a bit. I searched "black jokes" and found this site.

https://www.levelman.com/biggest-blackest-dad-jokes-youve-never-heard/#q-what’s-the-best-way-to-take-care-of-your-jordans
 
A man finds out he has a disease and needs a blood transfusion. It turns out his Jewish friend is a match so he tells the jew "if you give me some of your blood I'll give you $10000". The jew agrees and the man gets the transfusion. A while later the man needs another transfusion so he offers the jew $1000. The jew agrees and the man gets a transfusion. Eventually the man needs another transfusion so he offers the jew $100. The jew asks him "first it was $10000, then it was $1000, why are you now only offering $100?". The man replies "it must be all the Jewish blood in me"

What's the difference between a picnic table and a black man? A picnic table can support a family
 
Why did the black guy rob the liquor store? To support his family
Joke only works with the right smarmy, sarcastic tone and shit-eat grin
 
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Diversity. What do you get when three chinese, three mexicans, and three blacks sit on your lawn?

A sprinkler. If they don't get it make the noise: Chinkchinkchink-spicspicspic-niggerniggernigger.
 
Some from my late grandpa:

"Racism is like Niggers, neither should exist"

"A VW beetle feel off a cliff with two niggers as both driver and passenger, how would you call that? A waste, at least three more still could be fitted inside that car"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? It is more likely that the scout comes back from the camp"

"Wow! Muhammad got sick dance moves! One could say he's the bomb!"

"How can you put 100 African childs inside a VW Beetle? Just throw a loaf of bread inside"

"-Dad, I don't to go to the US anymore!
-Shut up and keep swimming!"

"-I used to have a black friend.
-What happened to him?
-When times got rough I had to sell him"

"How do you kill 15 flies with one swing? Punch a Somalian in the face"

"What separates the man from the beast?
The Mediterranean"

There are a lot more that I can remember but they lost meaning and punchline when translated to English. I am sure my dad may know more that could still hold some funny factor when translated.
 
What do you say to a nigger in uniform?
I'd like a Big Mac and a vanilla milkshake.

What's the difference between your bike and a nigger?
Your bike won't start singing with a chain wrapped around it.

How do you starve a nigger?
Hide his food stamps under his work boots.

How do you stop a nigger from raping a white woman?
Throw him a basketball.

Why do niggers always have red eyes after sex?
The pepper spray.

What's long, black, and stinks?
The unemployment line.

How do you fit fifty Jews into one car?
In the ashtray.

Why doesn't Mexico ever host the Olympics?
All their best runners, swimmers, and jumpers are already in America.

How many Somalians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.

A school bus with 49 nigger children went off a cliff. The tragedy? The bus had 50 seats.

What do you call a hundred niggers on the ocean floor?
A good start.

What do you call five drowning Mexicans?
Sinko.
 
Something Awful said:
Jesus, you know things are bad when you google for racist jokes and get this:

View attachment 5449089

What happened to the fucking Internet. At least it's not a message saying "the anti-racist police have been dispatched to your house"... yet.
Click to expand...
I never knew I could have been writung academic papers about Polish jokes all these years, that's actually good info. Here comes my 3rd act in life.
 
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