- Joined
- Oct 4, 2017
Ralph's Height
- Thread starter Gilbert Grape
- Start date
DrLittleDo
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2021
Gunter is a half midget... atleast he looks like one on all picture.
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2020
If I remember right he was a little shorter than me but not by super much
(I'm at about 5'10)
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2020
Okay, so let's operate on the claim Dick Masterson says that he is 6' even and not lying, taking the infamous picture as a scale:
Camera angles may be deceiving but that seems like at like 3 inches separate from crown to crown (assuming Ralph wasn't on his tippy-toes or something).
Two things: 1) I'm willing concede that he is at a modest-to less than modest height, which would categorically also make Riley taller by these measures and 2) it doesn't really matter if he's a legal midget or not, the fact that this accusation bothers him to no end and is his hot trigger button to send him into a drunken rage to fight some other fat guy is funny enough as it is.
I couldn't give a shit if he is or isn't allowed to ride the rollercoaster at Disneyland or whatever. It's enough to spark white trash fury in him regardless.
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2020
Ralph is verifiably 2 Rogans tall.
www.urbandictionary.com
Urban Dictionary: Rogans Tall
A unit of measure to explain the height of men. Men above 8 Rogans Tall often use this UOM without shame, men under 8 Rogans Tall are offended by this term as it means they have to get their fancy pants hemmed by their mom or grandmother.
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2017
5' 9" implies he's as tall as Boogie, which is obviously bullshit. Seeing as the average house door is at least 6 feet, and Ralph conveniently has his fatass under one, a viewer can see that this claim is dubious at best, and there was at least a foot of head space.
Even if we ignore the police report, Riley's height is a way to gauge Ralph's (they're around the same height).
Attached two height and body studies I worked on yesterday just to prove I put some thought into this.
Even if we ignore the police report, Riley's height is a way to gauge Ralph's (they're around the same height).
Attached two height and body studies I worked on yesterday just to prove I put some thought into this.
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2020
Ralph could very easily settle this once and for all by getting a neutral third party to measure him on a livestream. He won't do this because he is a midget-tier faggot, and all it would do is prove how short he actually is.
We need someone with shoop skills to make some jpegs of Warski as Legolas and Ralph as Gimli.
We need someone with shoop skills to make some jpegs of Warski as Legolas and Ralph as Gimli.
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2016
His height is about three times the length
5'10'' is only true if he was lying down.
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2020
Dude just stop. I know you mean well but these photoshops don't mean shit. Try a different angle.
What's next, we're going to average the diameter of a normal grain of sand then calculate by comparison when he was passed out on the beach, drunk and grizzled, to ascertain what his height might be vis-a-vie Florida sand?
To Riley: someone mentioned it earlier and I agree, just measure yourself. You already like humiliation and negative attention so why is this a problem for you to admit you're a womanlet in a manlet's body?
At least provide us some context, Riley. And no, unless Spectre wants to pay for that raw footage, I doubt any dipshit will give you the money you want for that. Most people care less and less by the day. Be sure to record your calls with Dax, I'm sure uploading those might be fun to hear later down the line. Scumbag.
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2014
I think it's important to note that Ralph is a hunchback and his posture is akin to a orangutan or something. My hypotheses is that Ralph stands a mighty 5'6" when his back straight and his chin is up, like when an officer of the law measures you. However, Ralph shrinks to his normal 5'1" or smaller as his gunt pulls down on his chin while his fat-hump pushes his head forward.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2019
Riley claimed to be 231 pounds in a Twitter post in the other thread:
He also has a clearly visible gunt. I'm around 5'10" and maybe 220, (I don't weigh myself often because I'm not a fucking woman), and have nothing approaching what Riley has going on with his gunt. No way Riley is over 5'5" if he's 231 pounds. I'd say Ralph is 5'5", 5'6" tops based on that.
Remember that most men try to fudge their height up a bit because women find taller guys attractive. I have seen guys my height claim to be six feet tall and I am certainly not six feet tall. Dick is image obsessed and is 110% the kind of guy that fudges his height by a couple inches. I'd say it's more like Dax is 5'10" or 5'11" and Ralph is 4-5 inches shorter. Dick could be leaning a bit in the pic above to make it look like it's closer to 2-3 inches, but no way Ralph is taller than 5'6".
Tldr:
Dick -5'10"-5'11"
Ralph- 5'5"-5'6"
Riley- 5'4"-5'5"
He also has a clearly visible gunt. I'm around 5'10" and maybe 220, (I don't weigh myself often because I'm not a fucking woman), and have nothing approaching what Riley has going on with his gunt. No way Riley is over 5'5" if he's 231 pounds. I'd say Ralph is 5'5", 5'6" tops based on that.
Remember that most men try to fudge their height up a bit because women find taller guys attractive. I have seen guys my height claim to be six feet tall and I am certainly not six feet tall. Dick is image obsessed and is 110% the kind of guy that fudges his height by a couple inches. I'd say it's more like Dax is 5'10" or 5'11" and Ralph is 4-5 inches shorter. Dick could be leaning a bit in the pic above to make it look like it's closer to 2-3 inches, but no way Ralph is taller than 5'6".
Tldr:
Dick -5'10"-5'11"
Ralph- 5'5"-5'6"
Riley- 5'4"-5'5"
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2020
Fuentes is 5'7" and he towers over Ralph. My guess is Ralph is 5"3 or 5"4. It'll forever be a mystery unless some employee of a liquor store or gas station in the area with the measurements on the door can give us security footage of him in the wild.
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2020
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2019
Until I see the greasy gunted faggot with my own eyes I will have no reason not to believe he's a three foot tall hobbit.
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2017
First, rude. Second, fair.
I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
Let's take that photo you shared. This one:
Using the environment and the floor boards, I was able to find a consistent vanishing point and a 1 point perspective composition. This is not enough to determine the height of anyone, or even where the ground plane is. Therefore, I'll have to commit to one person, and use their leg and foot position to figure that out.
I'll be using Dick Masterson. Dick, unlike Ralph ,or I assume the other two in that picture, has been outside with other people so I can make a good, accurate, comparison. Dick says on Reddit that he's 6', and this can be corroborated with this picture of Dick and Mike Cernovich, who's reported as 6'.
That out of the way, still no feet or full leg shots. That's fine. There are many ways to go about this, but I decided to use another person who: 1. Has been pictured with Dick and 2. has many full body shots since he was in a lawsuit before.
Count Dankula
Im using this photo because it's fairly level with a one point perspective angle, close to the perspective of the photo @TriggerMeElmo presented. Issue is Dankula's height isn't well known. That's fine as well.
Here's a photo of Dankula with Dick that I chose; 1. because it's one of those arms around the shoulders shots and 2. it's a level photo with little to no depth change.
Using the outline of full body Dankula and forming that outline to match that of the photo to the right ( obviously without stretching it out vertically), we're able to ground Dankula in a way that's parallel to Dick's shoulders. That's enough to go back to the original photo.
After isolating just Dick and Dank, then matching Dick's shoulders with the original Dick (head position isn't as important in this case, but, yes, it's weirdly wide for a head), we're able to ground Dankula in @TriggerMeElmo 's photo, meaning that now we have a ground plane to work with.
You might be asking: "Owls you retard, Dick's legs will be too short and stubby. This is clearly a shit way to determine Dick's position to the ground."
Truth is, Dick's legs are short and stubby; his 6' height is all torso. Evidenced by this photo
There's also a video of him playing mini golf on Instagram that proves his Short leg energy
What's excellent about this photo is that his right leg is very straight, making height analysis really convenient. Let's outline that lovely leg.
We go back, size the leg to match the original's thigh and angle, and we have dick's right leg in a 1 point perspective perspective plane.
Then taking a PNG of a ruler (rulers are 12 inches), you can stack six of them, scale it down, and smack that stack next to Dick and his leg. Rulers are great, because you cant fudge a ruler's measurements.
Obviously, Dick is leaning down slightly with his right shoulder skewed to accommodate for his short goblin friend, Ralph, and his other short friend, but that ruler pile should be 6 feet in that picture in perspective.
Great thing about one point perspective is you can accurately scale objects easily and move them around so you can get heights of things from different depths.
This would be enough for any dedicated enough Gunt fan to find his gross stick legs, transpose them into perspective in this photo, then determine his height accurately enough using the rulers. But since @TriggerMeElmo seems fixated on whether Ethan Gunt Ralph is on his tippy toes, we'd have to do a bit more work.
Unfortunately, I do not know who that person in the right is, so I can't find pictures of him and his legs (or a full body shot.) This would be great information to have, since he seems grounded really well.
However, for the sake of some closure, I can make a good guess using what I learned watching Ethan fight Riley yesterday. You might think I'd do the due diligence of find full body shots of Ethan outside of that grainy fight, but I'm physically repulsed by him.
Here's my approximation of Gunt's legs. This particular angle is great since it shows his gross stick legs, and they haven't thickened up with his gunt. His exact hip position is shown too, meaning I can figure out where to put them no matter what angle.
Understanding the proportions of his leg now, we can draw them in perspective knowing where they're attached to on his gunt hips. Knowing that I can't physically lower the legs without them literally dislocating, I can confirm to @TriggerMeElmo that, yes. He was on his tippy toes taking that photo.
Using the ruler, we can basically take its height, move right next to Ethan, and determine his height.
Despite the tippy toe increase, I can conclude that Ethan Ralph is still 5 foot 5 inches.
However, knowing that tippy toe increase is approximately half your foot length, then measuring that out (which by my approximation is 3 inches):
So in conclusion: Ralph is 5' 2", probably wears pumps, and is a liar.
Edit: Fun fact: Dankula is 5' 4"
Get fucked @TriggerMeElmo
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my dmv just asked me what height i was so i wouldnt really take that as proof whatsoever without at least a video of him showing it to prove it isnt photoshopepd AND video of himself being measured by them
is ralph ever going to learn huffing and puffing and being a white nigger and demanding csi evidence for even small height claims of a petty nature is just going to backfire and create cultures dedicated to fucking with him?
- Joined
- May 7, 2020
I'm going to assume Franchesca Ramsey is wearing heels here, but based off of where their shoulders lie, she probably would have an inch or two on Warski without them. I'll pin him as 5'8 ish, and he has a few inches on Ralph, who I figure in boots is 5'6 and about 5'5 barefoot.
Really you niggas just need to use your eyes. When Ralph is on the street with a random assortment of people, you almost never see somebody shorter than him, but he's tall enough to (hypothetically) function in society.
Edit: Started composing this before owls post and got btfo'd.
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- Joined
- Dec 8, 2020
Holy fuck. This is top-tier autism, my friend. I am awe-struck. Well done.
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2019
@PlasticOwls,
you magnificent autist you.
It would make sense that he's standing on his tip toes bc he would have to in order to maintain the neo-bro hug he gives everyone. I wonder if everyone just constantly CARRIES THAT GUNT in these photos when they feel the manlet lever himself up on their shoulders.
you magnificent autist you.
It would make sense that he's standing on his tip toes bc he would have to in order to maintain the neo-bro hug he gives everyone. I wonder if everyone just constantly CARRIES THAT GUNT in these photos when they feel the manlet lever himself up on their shoulders.
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2014
S-so this the power of Kiwi Farms?!