Randall Plays It: Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri

[Randall Fragg]

So, I've been playing around with the old game Alpha Centauri, which is essentially Civilization 2 in space. It's pretty fun, and I've been enjoying playing around with it.
In fact, I'm thinking of doing a Lets Play of it, featuring a lolcow based faction.
The options are:
Mayor Christian Weston Chandler, of CWCville.
Commander Jace Conners, of Deagle Nation
High Selijanmaje Tyce Andrews, of Da Skullz
Chairwomyn Ahuvyia Harel, of Australiatina
High Technician Eliezor Yudkowsky, of Less Wrong
Admin Nool, of The Kiwis
DarkSydePhil, of The Kingdom of Hate
Marijan Siklic, of The Red Pill Collective

"But wait, those aren't factions in the game" some of you may say. Well, at the beginning of the game you can "customize" one of the existing factions, so I'm figuring that I'll just pick whatever faction most closely resembles the selected cow, and reskin them.
Updates will be done in increments of 10 turns or so, maybe more if nothing interesting is happening.

 

[exball]

Finish the fight for Stryker.

 

[Sanshain]

SMACK is the best Civilization game ever made, in my opinion. The later games never caught my interest (I just cannot abide the really bizarre 'gamey' anachronisms present in things like faction leader choices, etc), but I still struggle with yearly relapses into my old SMACK addiction. Personally, I'd find a DSP faction hilarious. Bugged Mindworm Mechanics and all that.

Edit: Which factions do you think match up with which lolcow, by the way? Oh, and have you got Alien Crossfire installed?

 

[Skeletor]

AC is probably my favorite 4x game ever after Civ2. Love the dark sci-fi elements, love having so many differnet ways to conqueor the world; nothing better than beating everyone by monopolizing the economy.

 

[Randall Fragg]

SMACK is the best Civilization game ever made, in my opinion. The later games never caught my interest (I just cannot abide the really bizarre 'gamey' anachronisms present in things like faction leader choices, etc), but I still struggle with yearly relapses into my old SMACK addiction. Personally, I'd find a DSP faction hilarious. Bugged Mindworm Mechanics and all that.

Edit: Which factions do you think match up with which lolcow, by the way? Oh, and have you got Alien Crossfire installed?

I do have Alien Crossfire installed. As for the factions...
I see Chris as either The Cult of Planet (religious theocracy around a childish leader) or Morgan Industries (Chris wants to franchise his Sonichus and be legt alone).
Jace as either the Spartans for the "fuck yeah military" aspect, the Natalius Pirates (for the anarchist military aspect) or the Free Drones (hates nerds, anarchist "good guy" faction).
Tyce as the Pirates is a given.
Ahuviya as The Hive makes sense.
Less Wrong is a perfect fit for The University, being that they're both euphoric atheists. However, I could also see them as the Cybornetics, given their goal to cause the singularity.
Nool as either The Peacekeepers (relatively sane people stuck with a bunch of crazies) or University/Cybernetics (University starts with a computer network, both are tech-savy reasercher types.)
DSP could also be Morgan (both are business men attempting to run an industrial empire. It's just that DSP is really bad at it)
Redpills are a perfect fit for The Believers.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Year: 2100.
Location: Alpha Centauri System
Danger Level: Code Doritos Jacked Black
40 years ago , we left Earth in the Unity. Things were bad. Despite my warnings, the ISIS wars of the 2010s and 2020s devastated the world. The Social Justice Warriors unleashed their tranny-copters upon New York, killing millions and causing the Once Great Nation of the USA to fall into tyranny, gayness, and Islamic content. Earth was ravaged by the roaming bands of islams, trannies, and undead skeletons unleashed by the mysterious figure known as The Tycenado.
By 2040, we realized that civilization was doomed, and my take all life on Earth down with it.
We had one last chance, one last hope. The Unity. Built by an international coalition, the Unity would carry the best and brightest to the Alpha Centauri system, to escape the horrors of Earth. Deagle Nation, which had served honorably in the Siege of Boston, was chosen to be the ship's security detail.
We launched on July 25th, 2060, fleeing an gay and unrealistic world.
Things got worse.
The ship was sabotaged by an islamic micro meteor, which destroyed the 8th colony pod, and left us hurling through the Alpha Centauri system. Captain Garland was assassinated by an Islamic sleeper agent, and the crew broke down into fighting factions. The Deagle Nation survived by capturing a pod and fleeing to the surface of the object we've named Planet. We're aiming at a region next to Ocean, on the Continent of Land.
Turn 0:
Well, shit, we’ve landed on Planet and it’s seriously lacking in dankness. The atmosphere is unbreathable, the ground is covered in fungus (and not the magic kind), and we’re living in a duct taped together tactical colony module I’ve termed “New North Brookfield”. Our scout rover has been sent out in investigate debris from the Unity that landed nearby.

Spoiler

Well, this just improved my day. Alright, we now have a badass anime battle-monster thing. That’s fucking awesome.

Spoiler

The nerds in the labs have drawn up a bunch of proposals for research. They recommended researching "Centauri Ecology", so we could "understand the way Planet's environment works" or some hippie shit like that.
I said “fuck that, we’re making some badass laser guns”. And that’s why I’m in charge.