- Joined
- Oct 21, 2018
His drawings depict himself with a setsy body. He needs to take a selfie, mirrors won't help him
Containment Random Chris Updates
- Thread starter Clown Doll
- Start date
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
I'd say all Chris had to do in order to get a real woman was to wait for the age of unfuckables who orbit around him to happen since they're practically throwing themselves at him like the groupies he Always longed for, but now it's too little too late. His sex drive is zapped and he's so mentally gone even if he did still have a sex drive a Fleshlight and a picture of cryzel is all he needs.
Oh and also because Chris' ego made it so that potential sweethearts had to be full on perfect tens despite Chris even at his least ugly was a five or so at best
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2015
it’s rabbit And bear joke wear the bear wished that all the other bears in the woods were female and the rabbit wished that the bear was gay.
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2016
Oh come on, after almost 20 years, Chris can more than likely spot a red herring.
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2017
(strokes chin...)
Or, perhaps more likely, he's at least realised that he still can't. Eyebrows Quinn wasn't that long ago, and he still fell for that hook, line and sinker. Maybe it wasn't just coincidence that he set up his imaginary harem soon afterwards. Figments of your imagination can never double-cross or dump you, unless you're a really committed masochist.
Or, perhaps more likely, he's at least realised that he still can't. Eyebrows Quinn wasn't that long ago, and he still fell for that hook, line and sinker. Maybe it wasn't just coincidence that he set up his imaginary harem soon afterwards. Figments of your imagination can never double-cross or dump you, unless you're a really committed masochist.
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2018
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2017
(Chin-stroking intensifies...)
A few possibilities. Most straightforward: Chris thinks the drawing is of him and Magi-Chan. All's well with the World.
Slightly more involved: their marriage is, after all, polyamorous. Magi-Chan can fuck who he likes as long as he comes back to his loving wife, who is of course equally free to shag anyone she wants on the same terms. This is less polyamory per se and more the classic 'open marriage', with even more potential for major cucking, but when you're cucking/being cucked by an imaginary friend, then it's probably easier to handle than with a real, living being with emotions and consequences.
Outside possibility, but still feasible: Chris says 'eh, dat is not my loving hubby, dat is simply anudder Sonichu who looks very like him, among which', smugly takes this as further 'proof' that Da Merge IS Happening, and carries on with what passes for his life.
A few possibilities. Most straightforward: Chris thinks the drawing is of him and Magi-Chan. All's well with the World.
Slightly more involved: their marriage is, after all, polyamorous. Magi-Chan can fuck who he likes as long as he comes back to his loving wife, who is of course equally free to shag anyone she wants on the same terms. This is less polyamory per se and more the classic 'open marriage', with even more potential for major cucking, but when you're cucking/being cucked by an imaginary friend, then it's probably easier to handle than with a real, living being with emotions and consequences.
Outside possibility, but still feasible: Chris says 'eh, dat is not my loving hubby, dat is simply anudder Sonichu who looks very like him, among which', smugly takes this as further 'proof' that Da Merge IS Happening, and carries on with what passes for his life.
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- Joined
- Dec 7, 2015
Though I guess to be fair, Quinn layed 2 years of groundwork to get in the sweetheart position. If I recall, Chris even rebuffed her a few times when she publicly proclaimed them as dating before deciding “she” was sincere.
It is interesting though, I remember him really kinda counting on Quinn to rescue him from the gloomy post-barb future he’s heading towards. Him being less interested in a sexual relationship is understandable due to his age, health and tittyskittles, but it’s kinda disconcerting that he stopped looking for Mommy 2.0, which he actually needs.
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2017
Very true. Remember how taken he was with the whole 'feeder' idea? He doesn't even need to have sex, ever: his intended gets all of her lustful jollies met just by stuffing his gut, and he gets to eat all of the burgers, chips and chocolate that his fat arse desires. He really does just want someone, ideally good-looking, who'll coo over him, feed him, clean up after him, and buy him toys. Slightly horrifying thought, but his ideal relationship outside of the entirely delusional would probably be as one of those adult baby fetishists.
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2014
Not even Chris knows what he thinks he looks like, he just kinda wears things he associates with an attractive woman’s interests and habits and assumes it will make him look that way too.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2013
I don't even think selfies would help. He's taken plenty of those and still doesn't realize he's obese, unattractive, and obviously not female. Toon Town and magic powers aren't the only delusions Chris has.
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2015
He even did weird shit like that when he was in full hetero mode. In his fucked up melon he legitimately thought this was the height of masculine attire:
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
Bringing crystal Weston Chandler into the world aside, his sweetheart was always meant to more or less replace the aling and no longer willing to nurture him anymore Barb just with the benift of being a real, non inflatable pussy to get his bent duck wet in
They are aware that's from the cwcki Chris hates so much if only because he can't have the domain sonichu.com because of it right?
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2017
Dammit. I hate this part of the time line with Chris so very much.
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2019
It's fucked up that if it was confirmed tomorrow that Chris and Barb had an incestual relationship, that wouldn't be shocking to 99% of the user base.
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2019
Around this time last year he was self-aware enough to participate in a brony babes weight loss challenge.
I still find it hilarious that the basis of his “diet” was just replacing soda with McDonald’s sweet tea.
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2019
It reminds me of the tenacious D skit drive thru.
"I'm gonna go with a fillet of fish sandwich, since that has less calories, 'cause it's fish."
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2017
his age? Jesus Christ he is only 37. Men in their mid 50s have a more healthy body than Chris Chan. lots of Men in their 50s are more active than Chris and are still able to have sex.
it reminds me of that song from Tracy Chapman - fast car , where it goes, “He says his body’s too old for working, but his body’s too young to look like his”
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2014
If he had picked Unsweet Tea I’d have actually said “Okay well that’s an improvement”, Unsweet Iced Tea is kind of my go to drink.
However Sweet Tea especially in the Southern States is so fucking loaded with Sugar he might as well just be drinking a soda that might have some antioxidants still in it and less artificial preservatives. I’m not going to sit down and do a table to find out how sugar is in McDonalds Sweet Tea compared to like Mountain Dew or Pepsi but I imagine the difference is negligible.
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2019
I’m probably alone on this, but Chris’s face still looks childlike to me. Lack of exposure to sunlight and HRT has the side effect of making your skin look clearer, but in Chris’s case it looks unnatural and creepy.
That being said, if you compare face pics of him from 2013 to now, he looks a lot less “beat up”. You can definitely tell he was at his absolute rock bottom back then