Containment Random Chris Updates

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This is a good thing as I don't think there are any more sagas Chris could have that haven't been done already. Every unfunny thing Chris has done up to this point was the result of trolls slowly gaining his trust then manipulating him into doing something retarded. At this point Chris needs Praetor not only for housing but more importantly to monopolize him and ensure malicious idea guys/bella types don't get to him.

As much as Praetor is milking him for money, I don't know how well a guy sucking dildos and proclaiming he is Jesus would last on his own. All I know for a fact is the last time Chris was at risk of not having a home he became Stephanie Bustcakes and tried to prostitute himself for money. I have no doubt that if Chris is left alone to make his own decisions we will end up with the whore saga and all the cwcki editors will be scouring reddit threads to add to a large archive of grainy pov phone recordings of chris sucking dicks and getting fucked in the ass.

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Did Chris really do this on a stream?
 
All this, plus this house was built in…1920, according to the listing. Not good.

There’s factories/paper mills/whatever right across the street (Caden’s newly purchased wreck is at bottom right of this pic, circled)
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Another view of the neighborhood. There’s a line of factories and smokestacks all along the river, right across the street (again, the house is circled.)
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NOT a nice neighborhood. Would not buy.


imagine if those mills are abandoned in 5-10 years
and Chris through delusions of CWCville becomes a serial killer who genuinely believes he brings salvation to ppl he killed by sending their souls to CWCville.
and he used those mills to store the corpses.
 
I think he'll get a pizza delivery or something during a live stream for sure. People like to see live reaction. I feel bad for any food service workers for the coming months though.

But if he does get a surprise, I wonder how he will react. Usually he chimps out but lately he's been very calm and taking the weening very well even for his standards. I feel like a lot of people want him and Caden to suffer, real bad.

But if I may be honest, I can't wait Caden realizes that hanging out with or helping Chris is a bad mistake like everyone prior admits. It's one of the most predicted outcome of Christory, if you get close and stick around, you'll always end up regretting it.
 
What does the "Joined October 2023" mean?
Is that when chris got the app? If so, and considering you get ~15xp per lession, how the fuck did he acquire 22k finnish points in less than two months? Is it humanly possible to do like 1400 lessons in that time?
Can you buy microtransactions to boost your XP, or do you get some streak multipliers?

Also, amethyst is chris' birthstone. I wonder if he'll stop at this league because of it.
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What does the "Joined October 2023" mean?
Is that when chris got the app? If so, and considering you get ~15xp per lession, how the fuck did he acquire 22k finnish points in less than two months? Is it humanly possible to do like 1400 lessons in that time?
Can you buy microtransactions to boost your XP, or do you get some streak multipliers?

Also, amethyst is chris' birthstone. I wonder if he'll stop at this league because of it.
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I think there are exp boosts. It's been a while since I used the app so I don't know what exp does if anything at all.

Each lesson takes about 5 minutes at most. They are meant to be very quick and simple, an easy concept to pick up (but learning a language requires application of it in reality or that info is quickly lost)

Flutter kinda looks a bit Finnish. Why is it impossible for Finnish people to just be normal?
 
Can't wait for the Homeless Arc after Caden finally gets tired of putting up with him.

Does this confirm that Chris is legally not allowed to go back to 14 Branchland Court?
 
God, I hope Christ Chan is being abused, so we can see him on one of those true crime shows. Or maybe, he'll do the abusing. Either way, I hope somehow he ends up homeless. I also hope people think both he and Caden are a gay couple.
I hope Chris is kept in a cell in Caden's basement and raped by a BIG BLACK BULL daily AUGH YEAH
 
There is no chance on god's green earth that Christian Weston Chandler applies himself to be able to reach any sort of fluency in any language, even the one he has spoken since birth. If he gets a high ranking in that duolingo app, it means that app is pure garbage that does not help you speak a language
Duolingo sucks, at least for Japanese

It's the equivalent of doing flashgames based of a travelers Japanese book that give you a number of phrases to memorize. It punishes you when you lose too many lives forcing you to wait or pay for microtransactions which is made worse because their content is procedurally generated, meaning you can pick the right grammatical English translation for a sentence but still get the question wrong because it didn't match the data they generated the question from.

It's great for autism but shit for learning languages.
 
I bet chris chan quit hebrew because he didn't know the new alphabet and having to learn a new writing system with new rules, which is also from right-to-left overwhelmed his tard brain and made it bluescreen and so he quit

But holy fuck, 22000 duolingo points in a month? The true power of autistic fixation :lit: Until the cow himself speaks, I'm gonna bet that his efforts were motivated by china
 
I'll never understand. Caden is a good hustler, I have to give that to him. But why hustle Chris? Especially when you're so bad at producing good content? Is there some Wolf of Ruckersville Street shit going on here that I'm not understanding? Why wouldn't you go and find something else to grift off of as opposed to fucking with some of the most autistic motherfuckers on God's green Earth, many of whom are the same people who doxed Shia LaBeouf's stream of an opaque window based off weather patterns and bus hours?

It's like having the option between dealing drugs to the any normal cartel but picking Los Zetas because you think they're cool.
 
My question for the last few months has always been how sustainable this is. I legitimately don't know. I assume that the Etsy sales peaked in the first couple weeks of his return. Once every retard who wants one has a bag of rocks or 3D printed figure, are they really going to keep buying? How many drawings can he realistically sell?

The problem with monetizing Chris through YouTube is that it's likely going to have to be done strictly through donations. No legitimate company is going to sponsor his content, and I have doubts that he'll be able to land a channel subscription option. Maybe he could on Twitch, but YouTube?

So, again I ask, how lucrative are these livestreams from a financial standpoint? Like, who is donating money? I know that it's not anyone here. I assume that longtime Christorians aren't propping this shit up. Is it zoomers and kids who found him through the Geno doc? And if so, why? Is it a novelty that will wear off in time or are they genuinely entertained by these incomprehensible schizophrenic diatribes? Is he still going to be able to pull in 1,000 viewers and big money super chats a year from now? Five years? I legitimately don't know.

And if the answer is no, then what good is Chris to Caden? Is he really just going to let him freeload indefinitely if he stops being profitable? Then what?
 
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