Containment Random Chris Updates

[Falcon Sebben]

Don't Wings and Boogie still hate each others guts? They're both depressed narcissists with weight issues, one is just a poor man trying to be a sugar daddy, the other speaks in ebonics. Chris would be talked over until he has a melt down, he doesn't do good in group formats and I doubt he's going to take the offer

Yeah and then they took place in that creator clash boxing challenge and Wings won because Boogie barely threw a punch.

Combined weight in the ring? Almost 800 pounds making it a true heavyweight fight.

Now I've got this mental image of Chris having an absolute retard fit from sensory overload because he ignored the eviction notice for so long that the police got involved, and now SWAT is breaking down the door with a battering ram and tossing in nine-bangers. And now I can't stop laughing.

That would be funny. They'd need to release the body cam video for that though. See Chris get bodied to the floor and handcuffed, again.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I don't think it's that easy. He's moved Chris in under a landlord/tenant arrangement, and I doubt there is a rental contract. Caden wouldn't want to put the stuff about Chris's income paying the rent in writing. If he tries to evict Chris, Chris will have nowhere to go and will go into hedgehog defense mode in his apartment, not answering the door and refusing to leave. Caden could start the process of eviction, but he's not going to want to put the teflon tard in front of a judge, and he isn't going to want Chris to bring up the income Caden is making off him in court on the record.

Caden is stuck. Chris isn't going to move until he himself wants to move and he's found a better place to live. That isn't bloody likely to happen. I think Caden is going to grow old and gray before he can scrape this barnacle off his shoe. And he isn't going to be able to rent any units with walls adjoining Chris's apartment with all the loud singing of TV theme songs in a hideous falsetto... and of course, the smell.

Nah, the simple solution is Caden finds somebody to offload the property and tennant arrangements. Dirt cheap, looks like a great buy to somebody thinking this is going to be an easy property flip. Meanwhile, Caden folds up shop with Chris, tells the tard good day, and then cuts all contact. Caden likely has a burner phone and email he uses to contact Chris for the sole purpose of disposing of these means when the time comes and to prevent Chris from doing a 'What About Bob" and trying to contact him at all hours of the day.

Caden has thus dumped Chris onto some other person so it's no longer his problem.

 

[AnOminous]

Caden likely has a burner phone and email he uses to contact Chris for the sole purpose of disposing of these means when the time comes and to prevent Chris from doing a 'What About Bob" and trying to contact him at all hours of the day.

He may think that's going to happen but what will happen is some ween will dox him to Chris.

 

[pikachudidnothingwrong]

New lair arc begins.

House flipping job, you think?
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Holy crap lol... Didn't notice some of those details at first.. Who the fuck designed this place?

Definitely. You can see that the house is old and rotting. Anywhere it's exposed and not covered up by fresh drywall or cheap flooring gives it away. For example:
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The way it's built directly into the hillside would make me worry about flooding and mold problems. I would not purchase this house.

Chris revealed that he was in Big Island back in August.
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https://kiwifarms.st/threads/august-8th-review.169384/post-16621244

Also it's pretty rare to see literal shit in real estate listing photos. Maybe it made Caden think Chris would feel at home here.
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So it seems highly likely that they didn't do proper demo before doing the work. That place is ticking... Yikes.

 

[Ammyterasu]

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Chris is liking Boogies' posts so I can see him wanting to join, we'll see if his wrangler will let him..

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

I don't think it's that easy. He's moved Chris in under a landlord/tenant arrangement, and I doubt there is a rental contract. Caden wouldn't want to put the stuff about Chris's income paying the rent in writing. If he tries to evict Chris, Chris will have nowhere to go and will go into hedgehog defense mode in his apartment, not answering the door and refusing to leave. Caden could start the process of eviction, but he's not going to want to put the teflon tard in front of a judge, and he isn't going to want Chris to bring up the income Caden is making off him in court on the record.

Caden is stuck. Chris isn't going to move until he himself wants to move and he's found a better place to live. That isn't bloody likely to happen. I think Caden is going to grow old and gray before he can scrape this barnacle off his shoe. And he isn't going to be able to rent any units with walls adjoining Chris's apartment with all the loud singing of TV theme songs in a hideous falsetto... and of course, the smell.

Begs the question how difficult it would be for Caden to take out a life insurance policy on Chris. You know, ol' Chris Chan who burned his house down once before...

 

[McSneaks]

Begs the question how difficult it would be for Caden to take out a life insurance policy on Chris. You know, ol' Chris Chan who burned his house down once before...

Hard? You can't randomly take life insurance out on another adult. Not to mention paying the premium on a sickly obese retard. And the fact they'll spend tens of thousands of dollars investigating every claim...

 

[JT Marlin]

Hard? You can't randomly take life insurance out on another adult. Not to mention paying the premium on a sickly obese retard. And the fact they'll spend tens of thousands of dollars investigating every claim...

Two women were convicted of murdering multiple homeless men they had taken life insurance policies on.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Widow_Murders

 

[BMO_]

From CWCki
Chris's car's license plate is covered

 

[Optimus Prime]

He may think that's going to happen but what will happen is some ween will dox him to Chris.

Oh, I wouldn't doubt that happening for a second.

From CWCki
Chris's car's license plate is covered
View attachment 5527318

Shoulda just done this from the outset but it's too little, too late now.

Plus, I can only figure it'll be a matter of time before Chris starts putting a bunch of pro-LBGTQ sticker shit on the back of it, making the car even more recognizable.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Funny thing about big island it was apparently where Virginia sent all its little retards and special needs kids to live away from the gen pop of Lynchburg. It's a literal island that took years to have proper bridges built over it full of the poor parents of special ed kids who had to take ferries off the island then busses just to get to school.


It's got proper bridges and waterways now and it's trying to turn its image around and advertises it has cheap air b & b for travelers on their way to Richmond or virfina Beach, but yeah it's still serving ita purpose and housing the biggest retard to ever haunt the state of Virginia.

 

[WelperHelper99]

Shoulda just done this from the outset but it's too little, too late now.

Plus, I can only figure it'll be a matter of time before Chris starts putting a bunch of pro-LBGTQ sticker shit on the back of it, making the car even more recognizable.

I expect many lulz from the sheer quantity of stickers he's gonna put on that chevy

 

[TVB]

From CWCki
Chris's car's license plate is covered
View attachment 5527318

And he couldn't even sell it

 

[BMO_]

Geno is now selling medallions.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

I'm quiet here right now, but that's because I ain't studying Chris Chan right now. Until one for Caden opens, which is being worked on, I'll be out of this thread.
But yeah, expect big news on Caden specifically.

 

[King Kiwi]

Geno is now selling medallions.

I'd wear a traffic cone on my head before I'd wear one of those fucking pieces of shit.

I thought Geno was an all right guy.

 

[TVB]

I thought Geno was an all right guy.

And a great musician

Geno is now selling medallions.

I'd wear it at a business meeting

 

[ASeabear8952]

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That would be an absolute disaster. Imagine all the cringey weens in the chat.

 

[TV's Adam West]

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I'd like to believe Jesus has more important things to do than go on a shitty podcast.

 

[Cannibal Fuckface]

I think Caden is about to find himself in an incredibly autistic catch 22. Right now he's making pretty good money from selling merch, ad revunue, and livestream donations. He also seems to have Chris fairly stable and pumping out content on a regular basis. Almost all of this engagement, however, is driven by Chris's messianic return to the internet. And I think we can all agree the novelty has worn off, this shit is boring. You can already see the declining viewership on the CwcvilleGuardian YouTube channel.

What really gets people interested in Chris is his unhinged behavior. The good old attraction sign, all the videos of him screaming about the damn dirty trolls, the gamestop mace incident and of course the motherfucking. If Caden wants to keep people interested and buying shit off the Etsy page, he's going to need to spergouts every once and a while.

But tardrage and stress go hand in hand for Chris. If Caden arranges for flutter to be tragecly be stolen by some pickle suited gentleman Chris might be pissed enough to upload a curse ye ha me ha, but he certainly won't be feeling up to pumping out more medallions, or narrating that stupid nativity play.

Caden has a very delicate line to walk, and I think it's safe to say this is going to blow up in his face sooner or later.