Containment Random Chris Updates

[Pickle Inspector]

Chris is in such a unique position that he could be rolling in the dough if only he was smart enough and not too lazy to m.ilk his e-fame.

I’m sure as shit would be enticed to throw a few dollars his way if it was for early access to captain’s logs or seeing more original Sonichu (that’s the ultimate oxymoron) (as in not-a-half-ass-copy-of-a-fan-work). I’d actually pay to read a journal comic by Chris that’s just him living his life and dealing with his problems through his warped filter. You know, more sub episodes. As long as he could update at a consistent rate. Hell, a page a week should be easy for him.

But alas, Chris is dumb and lazy and fat and probably smells like moldy jolly ranchers.

That’s really been the only worthwhile aspect about the Sonichu comics, although the old ‘Captain’s log’ video diary style format was far more entertaining than his comics.

 

[Fapcop]

Chris is in such a unique position that he could be rolling in the dough if only he was smart enough and not too lazy to m.ilk his e-fame.

I’m sure as shit would be enticed to throw a few dollars his way if it was for early access to captain’s logs or seeing more original Sonichu (that’s the ultimate oxymoron) (as in not-a-half-ass-copy-of-a-fan-work). I’d actually pay to read a journal comic by Chris that’s just him living his life and dealing with his problems through his warped filter. You know, more sub episodes. As long as he could update at a consistent rate. Hell, a page a week should be easy for him.

But alas, Chris is dumb and lazy and fat and probably smells like moldy jolly ranchers.

I probably wouldn’t mind throwing some money after that either.

You know what I’d definitely pay 10$ to Chris for?

Custom audio/video greetings/insults!

Your friend just got a promotion? Send him a congratulatory Chris-Chan message, with Chris praising your friends accomplishments and skills in his own turbo-autistic way.

(“Congratulations on the success and upwards movement your elbow greased accounting skills have won! But I digress...”)

Have a good friend you want to take the piss on? Send him a video of Chris insulting him in all of his autistic, picklesuited glory!

If Chris had just an ounce of drive and weren’t such a lazy slob, he could have easily milked his e-fame and even grown it a bit, and bring in a nice four figure income a month.

But I digress.

 

[BScCollateral]

Custom audio/video greetings/insults!

Douglas Rain never recorded custom computer sounds, and I don't know why.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

I probably wouldn’t mind throwing some money after that either.

You know what I’d definitely pay 10$ to Chris for?

Custom audio/video greetings/insults!

Your friend just got a promotion? Send him a congratulatory Chris-Chan message, with Chris praising your friends accomplishments and skills in his own turbo-autistic way.

(“Congratulations on the success and upwards movement your elbow greased accounting skills have won! But I digress...”)

Have a good friend you want to take the piss on? Send him a video of Chris insulting him in all of his autistic, picklesuited glory!

If Chris had just an ounce of drive and weren’t such a lazy slob, he could have easily milked his e-fame and even grown it a bit, and bring in a nice four figure income a month.

But I digress.

It’s probably also his autism, he thinks his fans want things like custom amiibos because he’s into them despite them expensive and time consuming to make.

Your idea is good though, he could always sign up to something like - https://www.cameo.com/

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Chris likes Sockness's tweets on his role-playing.

 

[King Kiwi]

lol, this guy unsubbed today after having pledged $20:

View attachment 860997

I'm sorry these guys can't get the things that they signed up for, but what do they really expect? Honestly? Who are we dealing with? Who do they think they're dealing with? It's like they expect Chris to actually uphold these Patron offers. Weird.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

View attachment 861852

One of Chris's followers guessed it's a Pokegear, and Chris liked the comment.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Part of his Bronycon cosplay I wonder?

 

[Fapcop]

One of Chris's followers guessed it's a Pokegear, and Chris liked the comment.

Fuck, even for Chris’s standards, that’s really shitty. His usual output is on par with a 12 year old, this is more like something an 8 year old slapped together.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Chris is dressing as a Brony Pokémon Trainer with a Suicune as a Pony theme and this is Crystal's pony oc.

And Sockness is dressing as a care bear slash Paw Paw bear mixed with Beel and Sonichu.

Calling it now.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

I made that for everyone who likes my art, not just Chris...

It's Chris's art. It was his the second he saw it. Who you want it to be for is of no consequence to him.

 

[Aldora]

One of Chris's followers guessed it's a Pokegear, and Chris liked the comment.

He is going as Kris from the Pokémon Crystal game, the first female avatar in the game, and the game that has Suicune as its cover Pokémon,

 

[Rupin]

He is going as Kris from the Pokémon Crystal game, the first female avatar in the game, and the game that has Suicune as its cover Pokémon,

View attachment 861916

And her hair is seaweed color. How convenient.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

He is going as Kris from the Pokémon Crystal game, the first female avatar in the game, and the game that has Suicune as its cover Pokémon,

View attachment 861916

Lets hope he doesn't bother with the skintight shorts.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

View attachment 861852

All that work just so Chris can shove that ugly thing up his butt.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

Lets hope he doesn't bother with the skintight shorts.

Yeah, I'd also prefer it if Chris didn't wear shorts

 

[thismanlies]

One of Chris's followers guessed it's a Pokegear, and Chris liked the comment.

Imagine going to a convention, just minding your own business and spending money on whatever the fuck catches your eye when you get the whiff of something foul. It's stronger than any of the average neets you pass by so you turn around to see where it's coming from.

Then you see it.

You see an obese troon with seaweed green hair walking through the hallway. He's wearing a stained white jacket, a shirt that's so tight it makes him look like a red sausage, a yellow pair of shorts you pray to the GodBear doesn't rip at the seams. and bracelets that are made out of Crayola Fuckin Model Magic and acrylic paint. Trailing him is an equally obese man dressed as Professor Oak who inexplicably has his nose buried in a painted yellow sneaker. And trailing him are a couple of sad fucks screaming "Why won't you talk to us? We'll give you a Nintendo Switch if you do!"

Anyway that's just how I see Chris going to a convention.

 

[Fapcop]

Yeah, I'd also prefer it if Chris didn't wear shorts

Why? Chris’s legs are the only part of his body that isn’t fat and full of fail.

If he was a real woman, and 100 lb lighter, most people would nod approvingly and think “Nice legs!” to themselves.

But he isn’t of course, so the result is that he looks like a huge fat sausage that miraculously gained locomotion through two sticks inserted in its bottom.

But I digress.

 

[Time of Space]

If he was a real woman, and 100 lb lighter, most people would nod approvingly and think “Nice legs!” to themselves.

Idk dude, I don't really like my women with stick legs that make them look like they barely escaped Auschwitz

 

[Fapcop]

Idk dude, I don't really like my women with stick legs that make them look like they barely escaped Auschwitz

And a torso that makes them look like they ate an oven on their way out?

Shit, I remember my first thought when I saw Chris in his gala outfit, complete with little twig-legs sticking out of his tiny shoes.

“How can those twigs hold that much weight, and isn’t he concerned that a gust of wind could topple him over?!”