Containment Random Chris Updates

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

Can you imagine Chris driving up in his white trash minivan to his Tooter style hovel. "Christine's palace is not a hotel for Smurfs! Change it back, NOW, NOW, NOW! There's not even an Olympic size swimming pool I can fill with Fanta and watch Magi Chan skinny dip! Null is going to pay!"

God, chris living in an apartment complex with a pool would be a nightmare. He'd treat the pool like his private bathtub, his cheap ass hair dye would color the pool and he'd insist on wearing women's swimwear around children. He'd call the superintendent about minor things because he thinks the superintendent should be his new wrangler, and magically fix things for free. He'd get a rude awakening when he stays up past 4AM cranking britney spears. Some unfortunate factory worker who gets stuck as his neighbor bangs on the wall and tells him to STFU, chris doesn't leave the apartment or change his pants for 3 days.

That's not even digging into the delusion of someone like chris introducing himself as Sonichu to neighbors and trying to sell them amiibos.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

View attachment 1846206View attachment 1846208
Maybe they should have drawn Simonchu with a bulge. that would have gotten chris's attention

”da beats”.

It sounds better than ”da freedom fries”, I'll give him that.

God, chris living in an apartment complex with a pool would be a nightmare. He'd treat the pool like his private bathtub, his cheap ass hair dye would color the pool and he'd insist on wearing women's swimwear around children. He'd call the superintendent about minor things because he thinks the superintendent should be his new wrangler, and magically fix things for free. He'd get a rude awakening when he stays up past 4AM cranking britney spears. Some unfortunate factory worker who gets stuck as his neighbor bangs on the wall and tells him to STFU, chris doesn't leave the apartment or change his pants for 3 days.

That's not even digging into the delusion of someone like chris introducing himself as Sonichu to neighbors and trying to sell them amiibos.

On the other hand it might mean he gets the help he needs.

 

[B1 Commander]

God, chris living in an apartment complex with a pool would be a nightmare. He'd treat the pool like his private bathtub, his cheap ass hair dye would color the pool and he'd insist on wearing women's swimwear around children. He'd call the superintendent about minor things because he thinks the superintendent should be his new wrangler, and magically fix things for free. He'd get a rude awakening when he stays up past 4AM cranking britney spears. Some unfortunate factory worker who gets stuck as his neighbor bangs on the wall and tells him to STFU, chris doesn't leave the apartment or change his pants for 3 days.

That's not even digging into the delusion of someone like chris introducing himself as Sonichu to neighbors and trying to sell them amiibos.

I can't see that happening, like ever

”da beats”.

It sounds better than ”da freedom fries”, I'll give him that.

On the other hand it might mean he gets the help he needs.

juju on that beat pls

 

[shadhardblogger19]

I really don’t think Chris cares about anything like that unless it directly benefits him, if he did care he’d probably go down the ADF route of claiming he’s not white and double down on his Native American heritage or something like that.

Cherokee CPU Goddesses Matter!

Chris has been taking time off since he graduated college.

It has been 14 and a half years... He needs to get work reeducation online, but that is not likely.

He took an ancestry test and he's more of a jewish than native american.

"JEW!" -Classic Chris (while leaving Game Place back in around '09)

Where is the autism Chris!?

It is still permanently there in his mind! I handled the disability on a mild to moderate level and I could do a better job living a good life than Chris.

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

God, chris living in an apartment complex with a pool would be a nightmare. He'd treat the pool like his private bathtub, his cheap ass hair dye would color the pool

That's not the only thing that would color the pool.

 

[shadhardblogger19]

That's not the only thing that would color the pool.

Too much chlorine bleach?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

God, chris living in an apartment complex with a pool would be a nightmare. He'd treat the pool like his private bathtub, his cheap ass hair dye would color the pool and he'd insist on wearing women's swimwear around children. He'd call the superintendent about minor things because he thinks the superintendent should be his new wrangler, and magically fix things for free. He'd get a rude awakening when he stays up past 4AM cranking britney spears. Some unfortunate factory worker who gets stuck as his neighbor bangs on the wall and tells him to STFU, chris doesn't leave the apartment or change his pants for 3 days.

That's not even digging into the delusion of someone like chris introducing himself as Sonichu to neighbors and trying to sell them amiibos.

Wife: Honey, our new neighbor's last name is Sonichu. Do you think it's Polish?
Husband: Sounds like a Jap for some reason.
Wife: Well, his back hair is clogging uo the pool drain!

 

[B1 Commander]

Too much chlorine bleach?

hmmn, yeah anyways

 

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

Too much chlorine bleach?

there isn't enough chlorine to keep a pool that's had chris in it clean.

 

[B1 Commander]

chris retweeted this to win more toys and video games.
more shit for his own hoard

a goddess doesn't need toys

 

[The Dude]

a goddess doesn't need toys

Tell that to Chris and all the tax payers whose tax dollars were wasted by Chris.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Chris won't get an apartment. He'll probably have a meltdown after his mother's death and be forced by the state into a Halfway House where he'll have to share a dorm room with another aspietard. Either that or he'll have to pile everything he has into a minivan ala Terry A Davis and drive around the country, living on schizobucks. Either way, there's absolutely no chance that he'll be able to hold onto his horde in its entirety. He'll try to keep as much as he can, but the vast majority will have to be sold before Chris moves, either online or in a yard sale. It's gonna be surreal watching Chris in his bag-lady dress, sitting in front of his house and selling his junk to the general public; haggling and insisting that every filth-covered toy he has is worth ten times the value he originally paid for it and trying to convince passers-by that he's an honest to God real celebrity.

 

[Analog Devolved]

Chris won't get an apartment. He'll probably have a meltdown after his mother's death and be forced by the state into a Halfway House where he'll have to share a dorm room with another aspietard. Either that or he'll have to pile everything he has into a minivan ala Terry A Davis and drive around the country, living on schizobucks. Either way, there's absolutely no chance that he'll be able to hold onto his horde in its entirety. He'll try to keep as much as he can, but the vast majority will have to be sold before Chris moves, either online or in a yard sale. It's gonna be surreal watching Chris in his bag-lady dress, sitting in front of his house and selling his junk to the general public; haggling and insisting that every filth-covered toy he has is worth ten times the value he originally paid for it and trying to convince passers-by that he's an honest to God real celebrity.

I used to volunteer for a charity that helped destitute poor people move when they would get evicted.
I've seen a lot of people like Barb/Chris. There isn't going to be a yard sale or any haggling. Hoarders want to keep all their bullshit no matter how worthless it is.
A trash bag filled with plastic takeout trays and cups? Gotta keep it.
Chris doesn't have a social worker to contact these kinds of charities for him and even if he did the state isn't going to force him to live anywhere. He's a grown man that doesn't admit he has a problem and since there are no children involved they won't really care.

I can tell you from experience Chris's heap of useless trash probably smells like unwashed clothes, mold, fire smoke and dogs. Its going to make any charity worker gag and not want to help him. He will probably rent a storage locker for a while and keep it all there while he lives with his dogs and most precious sonichu shit in the van.
He will forget to pay the locker fee like he fucks up every other paid obligation and some retarded speculator will win the bid at an auction and be responsible for throwing it all away.
Section 8 tardhouses don't have pools so no worries. He may even score a single bedroom individual unit home or a trailer if he plays his cards right or gets ween help. His rent will be significantly lower than what Barb charges him so he will quickly build his own hoard of toys.

isn't Chris married to Mewtwo

He's married to Magi-Chan, Cryzel Rosechu, Sylvana and Mewtwo.

 

[Optimus Prime]

a goddess doesn't need toys

Except this self-proclaimed "goddess" is supposedly the spirit representation or whatever (I know nothing about Neptunia shit) of an outdated video game console, which itself is nothing more than a glorified early digital era toy.

 

[A Grey Cat]

chris retweeted this to win more toys and video games.
more shit for his own hoard

I can see him practicing his acceptance speech tweet now

"All I had to do was retweet Scot pilgrim a carto...I mean vyda game. I just had to retweet and like what they like and I just won, I just won....I just won."

 

[Pickle Inspector]

It has been 14 and a half years... He needs to get work reeducation online, but that is not likely.

Once the virus is sorted out (However long that takes) maybe it'd help Chris to do some kind of community college course if only to get him out of the house and talk to real people, like an art course or something?

 

[muh_moobs]

Once the virus is sorted out (However long that takes)

It's not going anywhere.

 

[B1 Commander]

Except this self-proclaimed "goddess" is supposedly the spirit representation or whatever (I know nothing about Neptunia shit) of an outdated video game console, which itself is nothing more than a glorified early digital era toy.

I forgot that Chris revolves around neptunia

 

[Snuckening]

Once the virus is sorted out (However long that takes) maybe it'd help Chris to do some kind of community college course if only to get him out of the house and talk to real people, like an art course or something?

It would help him, but he'd never do it. Even if some freak incident landed Chris with an offer of teaching community college, in a subject of his choosing, at twice the salary of any other professor, by the end of the first week Chris would decide it was beneath him to bother turning up, and go back to playing legos, bickering with weens on twitter, and shitting his pants all day.

Chris thinks he deserves diplomas and qualifications and cash and adulation, just for being the amazing, wise, super-kawaii CPU goddess he is.

 

[B1 Commander]

if Chris has all these powers, how come he doesn't have the power to change