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At least Rimmer had a job as a "Technician, Second Class." That makes him less pathetic than Chris.

Rimmer also believed he was a general in a previous life, and was obsessed with the board game Risk. Not as delusional as Chris thinking he's a deity and the wrappings surrounding it, but still pretty sad and worthless. But Chris didn't fail the astro navigation officer's exam eleven times, either, so it's kind of a close game.

Now that we are on the subject but could you imagine Chris on Can't Smeg Wont Smeg?



I've found my people - The Boy's from the Dwarf.
 
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Rimmer also believed he was a general in a previous life, and was obsessed with the board game Risk. Not as delusional as Chris thinking he's a deity and the wrappings surrounding it, but still pretty sad and worthless. But Chris didn't fail the astro navigation officer's exam eleven times, either, so it's kind of a close game.
Still more likable and successful than Chris.

A job aboard an asteroid mining ship for many years.
Had voluntary sex with a woman who was not a blood relative without having to pay (unless you count half of the post coital pizza).
Became de facto CO of a Solar Class mining freighter millions of years after his death.
A fantastic swimmer.

What a guy!
Admiral_Rimmer2.png
 
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A job aboard an asteroid mining ship for many years.
Had voluntary sex with a woman who was not a blood relative without having to pay (unless you count half of the post coital pizza).
Became de facto CO of a Solar Class mining freighter millions of years after his death.
A fantastic swimmer.

I Counter -

Gaspatcho Soup.
Yvonn McGruder had a serious concussion and was arguably not able to consent but he did have a son out of the relationship who was who Rimmer wanted to be, also canonically had sex with mechanical sheep on Ganymede.
He was out ranked by any living human, the JMC regs state that Holograms are officially allowed to exist in an advisory capacity and they are unable to hold official rank or inherit from themselves Rimmer, also Lister passed the test to become a low grade cheff and out ranked him.
He has a Bronze swimming certificate, he can swim as well as Chris can drive.
 
I always thought it was really interesting that the old trolls, who I assume (correct me if I'm wrong) were the ones running the Tom Girls and Tom Boys association of Virginia forum in 2011, don't get any shit for it. It had already been well known Chris would do literally anything for China. They all trolled him but instead of pissing him off they just completely reinforced his beliefs about being a true and honest woman. This was just months before Bob died. Trannism and depression being comorbid are well documented. There is a strong case to be made they helped shape the awful shrill "Christine".

Edited: Basically what I'm trying to say I find it weird how little the Tom Girl forum is talked about and what impact it had on him. Nothing about Chris is organic. His entire personality is what he consumes. If he goes to a forum with a bunch of trolls pretending to be Tom Girls and they kiss his ass enough he is likely to respond well. Chris didn't wake up as a Tom girl the ideas were put into his head.
 
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Without proper rehabilitation. You can say the prison system is a money making machine.
Revolving door is a money printer, since you can't change pedophiles, nogger gangbangers and other demented scum fucks that end up in prison time and again.

Case example Funlupin the kid diddler ended up in prison again for a year after he got out after internet PIs drooped a hint that he was about endanger a child.

The sad part it was only one year behind bars both times.
Even after a first visit to the big house, you're pretty much fucked. No-one is willing to employ you, sex offenders can't live in houses or apartments within children, brain dead or senile grannies to fuck after grooming.

So it's tent cities or housing units for Chris. Granted if state of Virginia cares about literal mother/cousin fucker number 3247 autism or not.
 
Has Chris made you laugh or smile in any ways that aren’t directly related to knowing things about him? I’ve spent time catching up on the Chris Chan shit since the merge and now my YouTube recommendations have done a total 180. Google tries to sell me mail order brides and waifu pillows and all the ads for gun related things suddenly all have a pro Trump/immigrant scare slant to them. Shit makes me laugh every time I use YouTube now.
I know when I am actually logged into YouTube for throwing down rates or whatever, the content you get from having watched a lot of Chris stuff is ludicrous and you can recognize it on sight.
 
Is Chris too "honor roll" to see that despite him claiming to be an omnipotent and omniscient being (and female), he can't go anywhere or do anything and he's locked up in an obese male body in the Jail of Fail? Or does he think "Chris Chan" is just one of many identities that his awareness is trapped in or something like that?
 
Is Chris too "honor roll" to see that despite him claiming to be an omnipotent and omniscient being (and female), he can't go anywhere or do anything and he's locked up in an obese male body in the Jail of Fail? Or does he think "Chris Chan" is just one of many identities that his awareness is trapped in or something like that?

I think so, the tumblr an tictok crowd that enduldge people like Chris would call it multiple personality dissorder and call what Chris is doing when he claims soniuchu, god jesus, magichan etc or what ever he's doing "fronting" rather than just playing pretend that's fine when your a 14 year old danger hair who's feeling lonely and your trying to impress your equally dumb friends online but another thing to do when your doing that in your late 30's and have been locked up because you've stuck your duck in your own mum.
 
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I Counter -

Gaspatcho Soup.
Yvonn McGruder had a serious concussion and was arguably not able to consent but he did have a son out of the relationship who was who Rimmer wanted to be, also canonically had sex with mechanical sheep on Ganymede.
He was out ranked by any living human, the JMC regs state that Holograms are officially allowed to exist in an advisory capacity and they are unable to hold official rank or inherit from themselves Rimmer, also Lister passed the test to become a low grade cheff and out ranked him.
He has a Bronze swimming certificate, he can swim as well as Chris can drive.

Never said it was an illustrious career, just a long one. At least he wasn't fired for ordering hot Gazpacho Soup like Chris was fired for his Donald Duck impression.
Point taken. Also I bet he never yelled Julay whilst giving the robot sheep one.
Lister passing the cook exam was just him and Holly taking the piss. Still you make a valid point regarding JMC regs.
Don't forget he also received the Silver Swimming Certificate.

Yes 2nd Technician Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSc, SSc was an insufferable, officious, pathetic Smeghead whose greatest achievement in life was dying. But compared to Chris he's smeging Ace Rimmer.

Oh, and let it be known Lister is the GOAT.
 
Never said it was an illustrious career, just a long one. At least he wasn't fired for ordering hot Gazpacho Soup like Chris was fired for his Donald Duck impression.
Point taken. Also I bet he never yelled Julay whilst giving the robot sheep one.
Lister passing the cook exam was just him and Holly taking the piss. Still you make a valid point regarding JMC regs.
Don't forget he also received the Silver Swimming Certificate.

Yes 2nd Technician Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSc, SSc was an insufferable, officious, pathetic Smeghead whose greatest achievement in life was dying. But compared to Chris he's smeging Ace Rimmer.

Oh, and let it be known Lister is the GOAT.

He was demoted from 1st technician after Hollister once got served Vimpto and Bovril.
He didn't yell Julay, but he did make a fuss and demand a refund when the robotic sheep ate his wig and part of his fake moustache.
Nope he really Did pass the Chefs exam, Lister felt bad that me made Rimmer feel bad and asked holly to say he lied but he still has breathing rank and real rank over rimmer on any and all JMC ships including derelicts.
He really didn't, he got his Silver because him mum got all Aplhabetty Sphagetty with the swimming instructor.

Rimmers problem was he was trying to live upto false expectations, his Dad was the Gardener of the Rimmer estate on Io, and his brothers where all fatherd by Uncle Frank who was the epitome of masculineness, his "dad" was a subpar egomaniac who was a bad school master at best, who Rimmer misguidedly worshipped and couldn't, but by Dungo's standards he's a high flyer and he learned to take pride in that.

And yea, Lister is the OurRobOrRoss, even though the whole life of the universe a scouser will be the last and best living example of humanity :p
 
Stupid question: has Chris ever spent any time in jail before the literal motherfucking saga? I know he has mugshots, but like... did he ever get detained without bail in anything other than a holding cell?
 
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Is Chris too "honor roll" to see that despite him claiming to be an omnipotent and omniscient being (and female), he can't go anywhere or do anything and he's locked up in an obese male body in the Jail of Fail? Or does he think "Chris Chan" is just one of many identities that his awareness is trapped in or something like that?
He concocted a scenario in which he’s an innocent person who was betrayed, rendering his situation romantic and him a victim/hero like The Count of Monte Cristo or Jesus. He can daydream about this all day, feeling smug and righteous.
 
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He concocted a scenario in which he’s an innocent person who was betrayed, rendering his situation romantic and him a victim/hero like The Count of Monte Cristo or Jesus. He can daydream about this all day, feeling smug and righteous.
Somewhere in his fantasies, he sees people outside of court protesting and believing Chris is innocent.
Years later, if Chris is still alive, if incest becomes legal, he'll take credit for being open about the incest.
 
Stupid question: has Chris ever spent any time in jail before the literal motherfucking saga?
The longest Chris was in jail before was a weekend in jail after the "DON'T CALL ANYBODY" incident.

(although that could've been in a holding cell)

He can daydream about this all day, feeling smug and righteous.
If Chris did not have such a fat ego, he may have seen that he really screwed up by incesting Barb.
 
Lister is a lazy jackoff but you can imagine having a beer with him without wanting to punch him in the face.
I would totally go on a pub crawl with him, that is assuming I have enough DollarPounds saved up for a return flight from Mimas afterwards. I know how hard Cloister of Smeg can party.
 
I always thought it was really interesting that the old trolls, who I assume (correct me if I'm wrong) were the ones running the Tom Girls and Tom Boys association of Virginia forum in 2011, don't get any shit for it. It had already been well known Chris would do literally anything for China. They all trolled him but instead of pissing him off they just completely reinforced his beliefs about being a true and honest woman. This was just months before Bob died. Trannism and depression being comorbid are well documented. There is a strong case to be made they helped shape the awful shrill "Christine".

Edited: Basically what I'm trying to say I find it weird how little the Tom Girl forum is talked about and what impact it had on him. Nothing about Chris is organic. His entire personality is what he consumes. If he goes to a forum with a bunch of trolls pretending to be Tom Girls and they kiss his ass enough he is likely to respond well. Chris didn't wake up as a Tom girl the ideas were put into his head.
It's been established that a lot of what the old trolls were doing were pretty much the exact same thing as what new trolls are doing, and the only reason why they don't get flak for it is because (1) the old trolls have left the game for too long so anything you throw at them would be meaningless (2) they were smart enough to not dox themselves so we don't even know who they are.
 
It's been established that a lot of what the old trolls were doing were pretty much the exact same thing as what new trolls are doing, and the only reason why they don't get flak for it is because (1) the old trolls have left the game for too long so anything you throw at them would be meaningless (2) they were smart enough to not dox themselves so we don't even know who they are.
I'd say a notable difference between old trolls and new trolls is most old trolls seemed to do what they did to get new content while a lot of new trolls seem to want to profit from Chris financially.
 
Is there anything we can do for Barbara? Send her a holiday card or something maybe with some money or a gift card? I don't give a rat's ass about Chris, he doesn't sound like he's having a hard time of it.

But this is the first Thanksgiving/Christmas she's going to have without him.
I'm not saying anything major but just to let her know she's not forgotten.
 
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