random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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Cool story bro.
 
I have a turkey that just hangs out in my driveway all day and I throw cat kibble and seed out for him, am I disrupting the ecosystem here in doing so? He's a loner much like myself, so would that still be upsetting the natural balance of nature if he literally has no interaction with other wildlife?


I fuckin love Turkov, he's a docile and beautiful dood.

even his gun sounds fat and greasy. what the fuck

Seeing the slobbering messiah personally descend to call someone a retard and ban them is an ethereal experience
 
You don't understand sister, you have to give me your used panties. It's the logical and environmentally friendly choice.

You will never be a real boy. You have no flesh, you have no organs, you have no blood. You are a marionette puppet twisted by magic and an old man's wish into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.

I bet Satan is really annoyed that his following is made up of lame ass dweebs.

If this wasn't typical third world shit, you'd think it was deliberately curated fetish content.

Do not fall in love with your theories, guys.

The moment he slopped that microwave lasagna onto a loaf of white bread, she realized the wrong side won WW2.

I had to see it, that means you have to see it as well.

A single anonymous message shakes them up so much. I stick to my claim that bullying works and is a very powerful and purposeful social correcting tool.

Man, it was a mistake to browse the Farms during lunch.

how the fuck this nigger misspell "and"
 
So this is gonna sound like a joke, but I warn all readers it is not.
So last year I got COVID for a second time, I was in bed coughing my brains out.
So I'm in pajamas, and have been eating nothing but soups.
I feel a fart coming out, and as I do I fall into a coughing fit.
I sprayed liquid shit right through my pj pants.
It soaked my sheets, I am coughing and gagging uncontrollably.
I fall off the bed and hit my head on the rock hard ground, the impact paired with the foul smell made me vomit.
So here I am helplessly rolling and coughing in human excrement, when I just pass out.

I wake up in the bathtub, luckily my roommate had heard the giant thud and discovered me on the ground and put me in the recovery position in the tub.

I had to throw away that mattress and anything fabric in my room, I still get called a poopiepants by him to this day.
 
It's always 'skirt go spinny', but never 'broom go sweepy'. I wonder why. 🤔

I honestly don’t think the transgender flag has ever been ironed since it’s been invented

If they get rid of hot chip, then what's next lies? Twerking? Being bisexual? Charging they phone?

We have rules about how we interact with them which are for the good of the common. Failing to respect those rules makes you at best an arrogant fuckwad, and at worst a savage who is too stupid and lacking in impulse control to live in a civilized society.

Throw in Jeets, Niggers, Pitbulls and Seagulls and you have a recipe for the best PPV Wrestling cage match since The Undertaker took on Mankind in hell in the Cell.

Elementary school kids on social media is the real crime here.

Probably something that is being passed down rapist to rapist in the rapist cell block so they can feel like they are using their rape powers for good when really they are just fucking sickos who belong where they are.

I know I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I heard someone yelling “get out of my butthole” all night.

I really wish I didn't smoke that DMT back in 2015 - I want off this clown train.

"Swedish Academic Who Wrote Masturbation Research Paper Released Into the North Sea Via Helicopter by Team of Koreans led by Elderly Mustachioed Georgian."

What even happened? Is there zero self-awareness? Has he drifted so far from reality that he actually thinks writing a book on shota won’t have the normies grabbing their pitchforks?

This is why Sweden will never be taken seriously

Buffalo buffalo booty warrior.

Gotta love how couching degeneracy in academic terms makes any subject valid, you can write on the merits of raping, killing, and eating your entire family in the name of Satan if it's written correctly.

They'll direct their pitchforks at you for your hate speech towards poor LGBT MAP folx, over half the country is Democrat and bemoan Republicans removing gay porn from elementary schools.

In fact, this faggot's book is probably less explicit than the gay propaganda libtards are littering libraries with, and the only criticism they'll have is that one of his little boys on the cover of his shota book isn't black and trans and fat, so he's actually Nazi-adjacent and needs to do better.

fire retardant? lol fire retard. i love the word retard

I would like to know more about this theoretical balloon-cat technology.

I confess that my balloon harness technology does not address this problem.

I only endorse beating people with sticks below the point that they end up with brain trauma. How are people supposed to learn from beating them with sticks if you beat them bloody retarded?
 
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