random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[30+GameOvers]

Well, lets not count our tards before they shit themselves

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

All this time wasted gooning and he could have learned how to knit or something instead.

Jesus Christ, it's like Satan woke up one day, looked at the illuminati, and decided they were pussies living life on easy street so now it was time to grab some REAL foot soldiers

She talks entirely in her sinus cavity, because not even her voice wants to be in her mouth.

I don't hate the game, but the player is really bad at it.

Suicide is never the answer but if you're gonna do it, a sims death popup doesn't hurt.

 

[Lapsus of the bepsus]

@LurkingLemur (rest in piss)

If someone GIVES you their name, that's not getting doxed. You're just an idiot.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Like anyone gives a shit about you watching a whippoorwill and whispering to yourself.

 

[Gentlebastard]

If we acquire Greenland, I’m going to move there, buy a store space, and sell cowboy hats and guns to those pasty ass niggas.

Ah yes, another case of "joined yesterday"

It's more damning than anything that no one bothered to even link to the video; it's that worthless of a idea.

9:54 He eats raw, unsalted butter with a fork. 9/10.

Some days I fear my brain may degrade from bearing witness to such insanity and inanity, but I suppose that if my mind becomes little more than sludge then at least ignorance is bliss.

If she actually put the effort into being factually correct for a change, I would not mind at all someone who utterly loathes us pointing out that we're actually on the right side here.

 

[Laburnum]

He is no father. He has no daughter.

Also, he is fat.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I hope he’s in heaven wearing his stupid hat.

It looks like a cross between a RuneScape character and the pope.

FUCK UNTIL PUKE
F
U
C
K UNTIL
P
U
K
E

Like, yeah, I sometimes look in the mirror and go "Goddamn, I'm handsome." Because I have self esteem.

Cowabunga I guess.

This guy somehow found a way to make dunking on Kojima gay.

 

[Pedophobe]

What mystical force is compelling him to argue with strangers online against his will?

You don't know how retarded people on the Internet can be.

It is incredible how retarded these people are.

This is like watching mentally ill people acting way more retarded than usual, and this is coming from an autistic person

Kiwifarms needs border security.

 

[Megaton Punch]

bro wtf is this. Every day I log onto this site someone has invented a new way to be schizophrenic

 

[Aunt Carol]

Boys, remember if she says NO I CAN'T DO SEX YOU MUST IMPREGNATE ME ARTIFICIALLY, it really means, MEET ME AT THE HYPNO ORGY.

I refuse to believe attractive people go to hypno orgies.

I'm no expert, Tiffany, but those all look like pretty normal symptoms of being fat and dirty?

 

[a kiwifarms user]

The amount of tophats given and deserved in this thread could replace the entire textile industry tommorow.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

But yeah apparently there's some Amazon dime novel millionaire who made her riches entirely by writing dinosaur erotica

When it is time to collect their samples I have to accompany the athlete as they are filling the sample jar and I have to have a clear vision of their junk and the jar, obviously both the officer and athlete have to be the same gender and in the case of troons I have no fucking clue as I did this before they got into sports.

 

[CaddestSlown]

This kind of attitude is why the government is talking about unhoused persons, the economically disadvantaged, and every other stupid euphemism that's been invented over the last century. Your birthing person would be ashamed of you.

 

[Cnidarian]

Nothing is impossible, the world itself says "I'm possible"!

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Just a normal day of gun-fucking your pornstar girlfriend while your parents are downstairs watching Jeopardy.

 

[neger psykolog]

Sonichu bongs and Rosechu strapons and butt plugs, I can see them doing this eventually.

If sales drop, anyways.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

But I think the surgeon I paid to invert my penis is happier to have been paid thousands than lesbians are sad my 5-oclocked shadow ass can come into women's spaces and try to guilt trip them into dating me. The total happiness in the world increased. So, whatever.

There is also a quirky smol bean nigger girl who is also such a quirky sprerg. Her journey to bulldykery has not yet begun. because Handstab is a racist.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Holes in the story, or holes in his brain? You decide.

Is....is this fat, rotund, obese, fat, corpulent, portly, fat, chubby, overweight, and....fucking fat motherfucker serious?!

Ask him to boil some water you'll get a 12 step process to get water more contaminated than Flint, Michigan's water supply.

no one can seem to get this obvious fact through his buttery skull

THE WHITE DEVIL WANTS YOU TO CONSUME ALL THINGS CORN! CORN BREAD, CORN ON THE COB, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CORN NUTS, EVEN THE BLACK FACE HONKEY ASS ROCK BAND KORN!

My god. How bad do you have to fuck up to have two troons as offspring?! Once is coincidence or maybe bad karma. Twice, and the universe is sending you a message about your parenting.

You created your own issues by your own stupidity and that is now your problem, not ours.

 

[JustSomeDong]

We can't all be as talented as midgets.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

I'm currently reading through that Bionicle Revolution script while listening to those guys on the livestream narrate it. But that's a god-awful way to spend Christmas