random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[DickMain]

HOLY SHIT. So much has happened simce i got threadbanned for "talking about my masturbatory habits." Yeah whatever just say ur intimidated by my HUGE FUCKING COCK. Seriously I thought this was Kiwi Farms not Airstrip One.

 

[Tablet County]

@DickMain you motherfucker you stole one of my quotes!

"Mowie Wowie Meow" is a statement that should get you the death penalty.

Jamie Oliver will fucking burn in hell for what he did to our pasta pots the cunt.

This nigga has banned: Abbad0nsGate, Abuhd0nsGate, Ahhhbad0nsGate.

I might have to switch to another book title at this rate.

Oh great, my mangos in Tahiti are under attack.

 

[Random Internet Person]

How the fuck did this thread turn into arguing about the Star Wars Prequels?

 

[Chromeo]

giving up booze is easy. but i will cut you if you touch my corn syrup

 

[The Secret Sauce]

The only reasonable kink on here is pregnancy

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Perhaps using black ancestral trauma was the pah-wraiths way of calling the emissary a nigger.

 

[Rudolf's Friend]

I've never been more incensed and angry watching a season finale and never wanted to watch the show less. See you all when Season 6 starts.

 

[Flesh Ribbons]

There's one not even particularly long paragraph with five BREASTS in it. It's a veritable breastival.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

Okay, and? Like is this supposed to be some "gotcha" cause it doesnt work.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

It's my birthday today and I can't even get one dead jew.
please like and share if you agree

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

Iran is proof that countries can be lolcows.

 

[BlastMonk]

"I'm not poor, I'm not unhappy, my wife isn't fat, she didn't leave me, I'm eating healthy, I do work out and have muscles now, ok? Should we continue with reality?"

 

[Doxmatix]

A polish retard is a Polack, a pollack is a fish.

If you aren't watching this Pokémon Champions stream and are thinking of tuning in: don't. You're worth more than that. You deserve much better and you should respect yourself more. You have people that care about you more than you know.

 

[Aunt Carol]

This dude could be the president addressing the nation and still find a way to mention wiping.

I'll accept Garfield & the light of Allah if it means I can lounge around all day on a luxury Dubai rooftop pool while entertaining a gay autist's delusions of grandeur.

my pee is full of nutrients and is free...

As I say I piss on the grass or the bushes all the time.

Sir, this is the garden thread, not the piss drinking thread.

 

[Crex Crex]

View attachment 8855776

 

[Shakira Flabbergasted]

hey there’s nothing wrong with a micropenis

 

[DickMain]

Oh no everyone is calling me retarded for being retarded and now I'm losing all of my Internet points

Amazing how weeks worth of positive comment scores can be erased in a single day by calling out sub 85 IQ retards.

 

[Dr. Butt]

You don't need to pretend to be straight to get money and cocks

 

[SneedEyeMitch the 2nd]

I wish Hitler was my postman.

 

[Aunt Carol]

This includes using a vampire as a human toilet.