random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[NyQuilninja]

i cut off my pendulous, flappy pussy meat and then made a roast beef sandwich

I might be remembering wrong, but I thought it was the other way around.
The X-32 was the better vertical lifter, but would have suffered from agility issues thanks to that massive "mouth" of a frontal intake, and less wing loading capacity compared to those stub wings.

Basically the X-32 would have just been Harrier 2.0, while the F-35 was trying to simultaneous be the Harrier, F-22 and F-16 all at once.

I wish I could make this screen-width, rainbow, flashing/blinking text.

ANTHONY FAUCI LIED UNDER OATH. THERE ARE NO DEPTHS TO WHICH HE WILL NOT PLUNGE TO LIE TO YOU.

Looks legit. Norm fingered my asshole once and I smiled the same way.

IIRC, LaVeyan Satanism is just Ayn Rand in a goat mask.

Listen, fat. Nice tiddies.

I expected to see mournful tits, not a bolted-on uniboob.

Horton Hears a Simp

Why are they all monkeys instead of beautiful white female humans?
Was the theme bestiality?

It it involves my ass, I'm going to pass.

How do you say (or type/spell) "You get what you fucking deserve!" in Hangook?

Soros and the cia should be sent to a black site and executed

The tolerant and loving progressive left seem to engage in a very high amount of elderly murder.

 

[Meat Target]

On a scale of one to god damn, how hard did your dick get when Hilldawg said she always has hot sauce in her purse?

 

[DerKryptid]

Marsha Fitzgerald
Business Manager
Nikocado Avocado, LLC

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Godzilla must have a huge cock. Imagine shoving that in the anus of Trent

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I'm not a court of law and can come to whatever knee-jerk conclusion I want.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I'm beginning to fucking hate myself because of how much effort I feel like I need to put into to say "Jesus fucking christ, just stop"

My wife has cancer but I cried more when the dog deepthroated our favorite fake dick.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

 

[Lemmingwise]

If this is made into random.txt I will die a happy Kiwi.

 

[Hitman One]

Whoever markets an all-tranny boxing match/UFC would make literal elephant racks overnight. We can call it Tuesday Night Sissy Fight.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Dirty hands of magma typed this post

 

[Monolith]

That person is definitely a tranny, but I think what you circled isn't their balls, but the tub drain.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

where there's lube and mania, there's a way.

This has turned into a fucked up Peter Pan LARP, but the Lost Boys and Wendy/Tinkerbell are 'gender bent'. "I Won't Grow Up" is their theme song.

 

[Kabuki Actor]

Also who names their kitten "Foucault?" It should be considered animal abuse to name pets after 20th century continental French philosophers.

His whole story revolves around getting the fuck away from the sun.

He's probably a fat fuck, so it'd be more like a word pizza.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

"rape is a great guy"

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

>assuming plants gender

wow ok TERF

I still have barely any clue who this woman is besides a professional nigger but god damn she is a fuck ugly alien.

The day I learned about Yakub was one of the funniest days of my life, made only funnier when I learned that there are people who actually believe this stupid shit.

Maybe they're trying for a paralympics tie in, what with all the speds on camera

As for nose rings, couldn't give a shit. They're edgy but hardly offensive, pretty much the way of saying "yeah I'm kind of badass on tumblr" without getting something really stupid like ear gauges or a videogame tattoo.

Who hasn't almost been killed by an older brother? Not my younger siblings, that's for sure. We definitively found out my youngest brother is allergic to bee stings after I smashed a jar of bees next to his head.

Why do all these trannies look like the life got sucked out of their eyes?

 

[Positron]

Confession of a dogfucker:

I was left with this pretty typical looking, but nearly priapistic choad that drove me nuts from the time i was about ten, demanding blood and a warm wet orifice to be pumped in and out of.

 

[SCSI]

If macaroni and cheese came out of my natural physiology I'd eat it every day. But since I have to go all the way downstairs to the supermarket to get it it's usually only like six days a week.

 

[DerKryptid]

In arabic and syriac being referenced to as a kurd is considered being called a retard.

Kurds are the gypsies of Turks, it's that bad.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

The worst part about it is the straight man-child pandering. What kid is going to play with a Queer Eye set Lego 'toy'?

This Ryu guy sure is ok with being a pedophile but you call him gay? Watch out he's gonna throw a whole Wikipedia at you.

 

[Meat Target]

How are you going to cleanse the world of Al-Incel when you can't even clean your own teeth?