random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Haffhart]

"THIS GAME IS DIARHEA COMING OUT OF MY DICK!"

A German store is a proper place to practice eugenics.

 

[Meat Target]

The fat kid that plays YuGiOh at his school has just become significantly more cool just by not being fruity lefty creep like him.

 

[Hitman One]

If my biggest personal accomplishments of this decade would be "moving out of my mom's place" and chopping my genitals into a mushy meat salad I would kill myself (not in Minecraft).

 

[Meat Target]

We may be a lousy secret society, but we have a decent benefits package. Didn't you get the discounted Costco "Evil Cult" membership?

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

The Russians preserved Lenin’s corpse in Mod Podge, I’m not sure why it won’t work with Ms Green.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

We're the old internet, really. When it was wild and free. We built it and now the new settlers have decided they don't want our kind.

And, like a Comanch without his eyes we must wander between the winds forever.
View attachment 2622254

Not a funny/weird quote, but it gave me the feels.

 

[Meat Target]

Hold up my darling sauerkraut, I am a cat and am not into bestiality, I stick to my own.

 

[Feline Supremacist]

@Meat Target Its the muscle relaxants I swear

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

She needs gays. If she already has gays, she needs better gays.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

This feels like the start of a plot to a black, bootleg version of Dumb and Dumber.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

If Scooby Doo was in every porn video ever you'd get turned on by the sight of Scooby Doo.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Yeah you don't want to wake up in 30 plus years and he's calling you barbiechu and fucking you every 3 nights

Stunning and brave? More like go home & shave.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

ok nononono you can't write 'particularly decadent cake' in one sentence and then 'colon neovagina' in the next that's illegal

Today I learned: my vag is native. Imma get it a headdress.

My cis husband just loves the taste of fetid urine in a rotten trench.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

All he does is whine on twitter and piss the bed.

Vaush hands typed those posts

He'll care a lotwhen its cheaply made plastic toys that need to be unloaded

Either twitter natively supports this function or there's a service that lets you do it, but you can just vomit multiparagraph screeds and it'll get automatically parsed into appropriate character lengths without cutting up words.

There's also twitlonger which lets you post as much text as you want, but I don't know if this gets more or less visibility than just using tweets.

Misgendering anyone on the Ranch comes more naturally to me than drinking water. It's nice to see Rachel Dolezal dating people from the LGBTAQIAAP+ community

I've met three, all of them fucking bat shit and their boyfriends all got a "I told you so" when they poked the condoms. It's fucking weird too, they kept going on about how hot their pregnant stomach was and how they wanted to be fucked while giving birth. Women with a breeder kink are as bad as troons for the cumrot.

You'd think they'd get a blog or something to link to, or even a Patreon for the grift.

That feels random.txt worthy to me. Also sounds like you're an alcoholic. Get help. Your family is worried about your drinking problem. Not as worried as Kevkev's family is about him, but still.

All these fuckers are bleeding together

Did you miss the memo? East Asians are white now.

We live in a society

In 30 years pedophilia won't be considered a crime either.

The more this horror show unfolds, the more apparent the wisdom of God's laws becomes. That the people circling the toilet bowl see nothing wrong with their behavior on the way down doesn't impress me.

At least weird polygamist polyamory freaks admit it upfront.

I can't trust the car mechanic down the street either. Does that mean he deserves the bullet too?

Is your car mechanic touching children?

I, uhh, thought my girl friend was being raped by a home invader or was in the process of raping a home invader. I had to stop both of them to be sure, your honor.

Merely I'm saying if there's a reason for him to get the bullet too, then there's a reason. If not then it's an apples to oranges comparison.

Those dastardly dykes

Gutting a person for parts is also very bad and will also get you a harsh punishment. With regular cheating though the only thing hurt is feelings, and that's why it's not a crime.

This would make a banger Law and Order episode.

 

[Botched Tit Job]

"You've violated so many international laws, I don't even know how you're alive!" -Pamela Swain on the stream this morning

 

[Useful_Mistake]

"You've violated so many international laws, I don't even know how you're alive!" -Pamela Swain on the stream this morning

Wait, she started streaming? Haven't kept up with her for 3 months or so

 

[Zero Day Defense]

When I was in high school, I wanted to be a journalist. Unfortunately, due to a crippling disability- having ethics - I was unable to get a job and had to turn to a more honest profession - robbing old ladies.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Also >UT Dallas
What's with Texas universities and breeding idiots?

@Sped Xing what IS the deal with Texas universities?

 

[Sped Xing]

@Sped Xing what IS the deal with Texas universities?

Teasips and Teasips-on-the-Brazos.

 

[DumbDude42]

He does if he's Jesus Christ Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu CPU Goddess Blue Heart. But he will judge you for a lack of mother-fucking.