random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Throwing crocheted phalluses at women is about the only way a TIF can use male genitals to assault someone

Well my Amazon suggestions will be Islamic for a while now. Why did I click the links? I think in a previous life I was a cat and my curiosity killed me.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Burn the coal, pay the toll... wait a minute
Misbehaved with a thot, a grave he bought?

Fuck the cluster B, go to the afterlife and see?

We really need to see the full side of things, especially her. All sides.

Plow the snow be brought low, dude should've hit it and quit it.

Break the ice, pay the price?

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Indeed. I've had girls ask me to put it in the butt, but I've always refused.

A thumb, sure. Tongue, most certainly. But the penis?

That is not how babies are made.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

"NOOR BL BASED AF NO CAP TRUMP2024 WE OUT"
flies out window

Based Kathy takes your woke gofundme bucks, demands you dilate every day. And you better not complain or else she'll set the troon busters on you. And your fellow troons will cover for her while you get labelled a terf agent.

I'd prefer interactions flavored with a bit less autism, if I could.

Both "everybody is evil" and "everybody is good" are what happens if you do not use your brain to parce the world, so anything overly edgy is ABSOLUTELY the same as Disney shlock that dumbs you down.

Thankfully never saw one of those in my year in Iraq. Though I did get to hear someone commit suicide, does that count?

Isn't lolcow just Beauty Parlor rejections on an imageboard platform? Who the fuck cares what they have to say?

 

[Just A Butt]

Carbonation grimace still means Henstepl's disease!

 

[Table Country]

They think we're so bad because we can only cum to baby monkeys in pain. Well, the Karen Farms is full of Trump supporters. Who's the real monster here?

 

[Basement Dwelling Dork]

And I'll never make that mistake again, not with you or anybody like you. I'll continue to make lolicon and beat it to Dora the Explorer. And I'll do it because it's what I like.

Words from the Chronically Bitchless artist.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

AAAHHHH BEEJAMS!

 

[Open Window Maniac]

What the fuck is going on over there where art students are allowed to make top tier shitposting on how they fight giant conglomerates who have homobeams? Meanwhile my Chris Chan Pieta piece has gotten me banned from 50 different art shows, 24 nearby churches, and 1 post office. Fucking bullshit.

 

[NoReturn]

tiny red bird construction workers wearing little yellow helmets

 

[Skitarii]

The fedora-to-trancel-to-terrorist pipeline

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Since He is mayor of CWCville, they may be going for a diplomatic immunity defense.

 

[No0neKnows]

He's the unholy fusion between International Jew and GloboHomo-which are the two most powerful groups in the media landscape.

 

[SevenEightNine]

@Sirfaggot (in chat)
It'd be pretty weird to get romantic with someone as they passive aggressively talk about how much bigger their inflatable penis is going to be.
"oh, wow, you're such a beautiful wom-"
"your dick won't hold a candle to my bouncy castle cock, just you wait"

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I agree. Let's go back to watching brown people murder each other and dumb fuck chinese people getting electrocuted and slamming those shitty little mopeds into trucks and getting squashed.

What does Sharia Law and Islam say about scalping retro games? This is important.

I would force my way into that seat and loudly rip ass the whole time. Who do you think everybody will blame?

 

[AltisticRight]

By any metric I am more notable than 80% of the ppl on Wikipedia

Or how Ralph said it:

U DAMN AY LAWG MOTHA FUCKER KILL YORE SELF IMMA MOAR NOTABLE THAN ANY MUTHA FUCKERS ON WIKEE PEEDIA BY ANEEE METRIK FROM THE TOPP ON DOWN!!!!1

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Even I, the hardened Heiler of 1488 Sig Heils don't dare to thread in the zoosadist threads

 

[Kill a Troon for Pikamee]

He learned about the Hershey highway in nigger U.

These troons pass like a flaming kidney stone.

barbs dusty ass maggot infested axe wound of a vagina

Unfortunately it’s not actually illegal to be Chris.

faggots fucked their dogs

 

[Blackhole]

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH BEEEJAMS!!!!

Guys I'm trying to focus on work, can this administration stop catastrophically fucking up for more than 2 hours? Please and thank you.

Any woman in history who ever did anything other than gestate and wear pretty dresses was secretly a man, honey. This isn’t misogyny at all and is actually the right side of history and true progress.

I'm not saying all anime people are in to little kids but it seems 95% of the most vocal ones are and have little girls as their pfp.

TURN ON THE TV!

THE FBI IS DOING A RAID IN YOUR WIFE!

#notallnewfags
but probably most

 

[Table Country]

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. Great skitzo Wormy is in a thread tonight. Go and read it. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'But doctor…I am Wormy.'

Use their preferred pronouns.
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Personally I prefer the "trans people are possessed by demons so hearing their real name hurts them" argument. And hear me out okay? I'm not crazy.