random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Maricón de Mierda]

I don't know anything about how big the federal government is, but have you ever tried masturbating with that shitty fucking soap they have in those liquid dispensers at public bathrooms?

You faggots worship cows so much you might as well be Hindu, no wonder there's so much shit on this website.

there's a difference between making shitposts and making shit posts.

I see a man of culture has joined the Donkey Kong forum.

Whelp, I chalk this as another victory for phrenology.

A fetish is a distortion of that process where the reward process of the means to reproduce and regulate beauty is hijacked by sonic pussy and baby horse necrophiles and stuff. Very, very ontological stuff.

Some random autist dunking on Ken Penders from his thread:

I grew up with an undiagnosed neurological disorder and a Sega, you can't match my knowledge

 

[CatParty]

you could label my marginalization "heightism," but there's a better term for the force animating my experience: white supremacy

 

[Meat Target]

No, it is against the law to have sex with the retarded.

It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You can't have a century of Chinese history without a significant event of cannibalism.

be honest catparty, you have some kind of bot set up that constantly searches on news aggregation sites to collect the most retarded articles every day and reposts them here, right?
there's no way you find all this shit yourself

Just have sex, incel

This woman is just coping hard for the fact that gay men don't want to fuck her cunt and she doesn't like being fucked in the ass. So she's decided she's a top.

Forty three paragraphs about how amazing your rubber penis is but not a single mention of employment.

 

[Sundae]

From one of the DM chains, so I can't link it directly:

Those poor retards.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

First African slaves in America = someone is going to invent the word nigger, taking the world by storm

Gayniggers aren't always from outer space

 

[LurkTrawl]

If you’re going to take three hours about it, at least give us all something to watch and livestream crucifixions.

 

[tehpope]

Woodstock 99 and Gamergate, the 2 most important events in the last 5000 years.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

BREAKING NEWS: WHY I SHOULD BE ENTITLED TO SEX FROM HOT BITCHES DESPITE BEING A RETARD!

Most near-dwarfs I've met are very short women. These very short women usually date average sized men, although sometimes you'll see a cute very short couple that have found each other.

 

[I am vomit]

Jesus Christ if you are ever at the point where you're contemplating sexual compatibility with your mother just pay a fucking hooker holy shit.

Most house pets clean their own anus.

ok i'm going to sleep when i wake up you better find out he's into scat feet and vore as well

God, the men you put on this earth to hunt and provide are writing Donkey Kong incest fanfiction.

And yet for as long and as detailed as his pissing fetish is, judging by the censored picture, he still hasn't figured out where the piss hole on women is.

NEWFAG LIVES MATTER
HANDS UP DON'T BAN
ALL JANNIES ARE BASTARDS

I love my dead gay forums.

 

[Stabmaster Arson]

My mom and I used to love going to Popeyes but everytime we went it's always filled with black people fighting. The last time we went, the manager was fighting with the mother of one of the employees and the janitor called security. The customers were always of various races, but the troublemakers were always blacks. I really dont understand what the fuck is wrong with black people. We go to KFC now.

 

[Blackhole]

Lolcows aren't built like they used to be. They're built far, far fatter. Which means milking them properly is more important than ever.

Can we please stop spreading the rumor that PATRICK S. TOMLINSON KIDNAPS AND RAPES BLACK BABIES THEN MURDERS THEM AND THROWS THEIR CORPSES INTO A MEAT GRINDER TO PROCESS INTO PEPPERONI? It's such a sick and disgusting thing to go around saying that PATRICK S. TOMLINSON KIDNAPS AND RAPES BLACK BABIES THEN MURDERS THEM AND THROWS THEIR CORPSES INTO A MEAT GRINDER TO PROCESS INTO PEPPERONI. The allegations that PATRICK S. TOMLINSON KIDNAPS AND RAPES BLACK BABIES THEN MURDERS THEM AND THROWS THEIR CORPSES INTO A MEAT GRINDER TO PROCESS INTO PEPPERONI have never been proven and are therefore libelous. Anyone going around saying that PATRICK S. TOMLINSON KIDNAPS AND RAPES BLACK BABIES THEN MURDERS THEM AND THROWS THEIR CORPSES INTO A MEAT GRINDER TO PROCESS INTO PEPPERONI is lying and could be sued by Patrick S. Tomlinson for libel. So please stop saying that PATRICK S. TOMLINSON KIDNAPS AND RAPES BLACK BABIES THEN MURDERS THEM AND THROWS THEIR CORPSES INTO A MEAT GRINDER TO PROCESS INTO PEPPERONI.

Fatrick had a mental break down. Call that a Patty Melt

The only way it'd be worse is if she was banging some illegal immigrants, personally killed Madeline McCann and somehow caused house prices to go down.

Not a fatwa by any medical standard, little zygote infidel child

Alright fellas, love you guys and all, but can we please try to avoid using sources like "welovetrump.com" it's a little fucking goofy even for here.

Incorrect, child of Sophia , this is not an aeon prison, that is your delewsion

Page 1000? There never WAS a page 1000. What page 1000? This says 1001. You are having delusions little child. Because that is all you HAVE. Your time is ticking, stalker.

I am now fucking begging Patrick Shaun Tomlinson to stop being so fat. Because he is so very, very fat.

Laughter is the best medicine.

Hilarity awaits.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I've played enough Donkey Kong to know any problem with monkeys can be solved with a sledgehammer.

Fuck your conspiracy shit.

Africa sucks

Anyone sperging about bioweapons needs to go read the polyamory thread and look at the posts on the continent-spanning gay polycule. One in the middle was keeping a spread sheet or some such of all their sexual partners and people were even joking at the time about how easy he was making it for health officials to trace the future patient zero.

Boy do I really fucking miss my Optimistic rating right now.

if there was a disease you could get from renting a u-haul it would devastate the lesbian community.

That sounds interesting but the polyamory thread is longer than the Korean War.

I'm starting to wonder what animals don't have their own pox at this point.

It made sense to lockdown the world, demolish the economy, and deprive small children of necessary social contact to stop the spread of Bat Flu, but asking gays to stop having orgies is simply a bridge too far.

I had a theory that the world would lock down again a month after Sonic the Hedgehog 2 released to American cinemas, owing to what happened when Sonic the Hedgehog came to American cinemas in February 2020.

Looks like my suspicion was not farfetched as people once thought. History repeats, whether you know it or not.

So my take away from this is we must stop Sonic the Hedgehog 3 from coming to be... the world can't handle it.

Rape nigger kids, get weird STDs

If you see a pride parade headed towards you, cork your anus and start running as fast as you can!

Costco is a hotbed of braindead NPCs

Good thing I've always adhered to a strict "no gay orgies" policy.

If it only kills fags, it is not a big problem.

Why was there a need for Netflix to do the same "white men bad" documentary when the HBO Max attempt was more than enough cringe?

I guess Netflix is the streaming services for poors since HBO already did this and did it better.

You know what happened when someone tried to inject politics into the original Woodstock? Pete Townsend smashed them on the head with a guitar. "Fuck off. Fuck off my fucking stage."

Woodstock 99 was a good rape festival but a bad music one.

How did black people lose their ability to rock? Did the media jews suck it out of them when they started convincing them to be rappers instead?

Didn't read, nigger.

There's nothing more metal than starting a fistfight with the audience and stealing a taxi cab to get away while being shot at by angry Italians.

Well let's stop fighting and remember that bugmen are only book smart. And the books aren't very good.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Humans. Can't. Digest. Chitin.

They’re so cavalier with their endocrine systems.

The food is okay and the workers are nice, but I feel like an outsider among my fellow diners due to my non usage of crack.

 

[Ghostse]

"When I get myself into a fight… I deliberately punch myself square in the balls to confuse and disorient the enemy."

 

[Blatant hypocrite]

First time I've ever seen a reasonable centrist position preceded by, "If anyone here has read Mein Kampf..."

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Squirrel are too dumb to have kinks.

If I have to wear a mask at work because the fags can't be bothered to wear a condom during orgies with strangers, I'm going to be pissed.

hold on, I'm gonna crosspost this to the Virgin vs. Chad thread.

 

[Autistic Joe]

The clown fetish and honking clown tits posts killed me.

"Can we talk about the elephant in the room?"

Bruh, it's you you fat fuck. You're the elephant.

 

[Skitarii]

WHen i try to picture ukraine as a person, i always see idubbz, so yeah, ukraine is a huge cuck.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

One troon over the line sweet Jesus
One troon over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One troon over the line