random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

Also how the fuck does Lou still think that "Cuntboy" refers to hermaphrodite women with dicks instead of the term "Dickgirl"?

 

[Pissmaster]

A fart fetishist, a cuck and a pedophile walk into a bar
the bartender asks: "doing a democrat livestream?"

 

[AStupidMonkey]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPIz8bnx7uk&t=739s

> I am a man after all, albeit a hilarious one.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

No mater how much cum you dump in a colon you will never fertilize it

 

[Pedophobe]

The only thing worse than trying to actively become an e-celeb is to try to actively become an e-celeb and fail miserably at it.

Ah, the classic blunder of being gay AND retarded.

To think, this could have all been avoided if you didn't cut your dick off.

I’ve never prayed for a neonatal kidnapping before this.

Don't worry guys, I'm sure Rackets will clear everything up by getting blackout drunk and livestreaming.

Emacs is okay I guess. Shame that it doesn't have a decent text editor though.

Does it get more fash than saying you don't want to talk about erotic shit eating?

It's like reverse Poe's law. What seems like should be an outlandish parody turns out to be genuinely delusional.

 

[JethroTullamore]

Surely there must've been a better way to honor the legacy of the Smash Mouth dude other than dressing like the caterpillar from Bug's Life and doing an impression of a Scottish man drunk Irish leprechaun with his mouth full of marbles and a pool cue up his ass arse trying to flirt with high school girls outside the pub.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

David stated that if he called me a fucking bitch fagot he would understand why I would be offended or feel threatened.

 

[Meat Target]

It's called a century you illiterate mongoloid faggot. You're so shit at your job and yet have the balls to demand more for less. Fuck you.

 

[Gentlebastard]

In San Francisco homossexuality is everywhere whether concealed or not

You just know someone is going to sexually assault that robot.

We all do miss Gaddafi dearly.

All I want is to watch chinks dying in industrial accidents, and I get to see twenty nigger dick threads every time I scan the catalog.

Nooo you can't groom them, i wanted to groom them first!

I've been doing research to try and figure out why people love Sonic so much. I'd like to give a more nuanced take than "Autism!" in the future, but these sorts of comments make it very, very difficult not to do that.

First they came for Joshua Moon and Kiwi Farms, and I didn't care because fuck those losers.
Then they came for Alex Jones and InfoWars, and I didn't care because I wanted to make the frogs gay.
Then they came for me, and when I asked for help, Josh and Alex said, "lolno."

Really fucks the Feng Shui when you have to replace the blood stained carpet and tiles.

Average Redditor
View attachment 5369846

"I wish I could go back to when I didn't know how dumb I am."

I love that Jim has only read three of Pat's tweets and completely despises him.

maybe she'll get box braids and pat will have to tell her "umm that's considered an appropriative hairstyle mom."
"fuck off boy! you don't understand this Clown Lyfe"

This is something you'd buy as a cheap last minute for someone that you don't really give a shit about, but they're friends with your friends, so you have to go to their birthday party

You did the bare minimum, pretending not to would just be rude.

Oh god the trailer is hilarious, do these people not know the entire project has fallen apart and there is no more ranch?

How would they know? The only place that would tell them, Kiwifarms, was shut down and no longer exists.

 

[Meat Target]

He wouldn't be outside of his house for 5 minutes before he was already filing suit and wishing death upon an errant girl scout that bumped into him in the crosswalk.

 

[m1ddl3m4rch]

don’t mentally elevate your earnest efforts to reconcile your personal perspective/make a valid political observation to some sort of martyrdom

 

[Aunt Carol]

You'd think someone who wants to be a woman would want to inherit their kindness, but it seems like they want to transition into this abominable combination of obnoxious HR bitches and Harvey Weinstein.

 

[Blackhole]

This website is a hive of scum and villainy with contrarian levels cranked to the max.

"women, a very, very long time ago, used to be... you know, good"

What's even the point of going on if we can't snag us a degenerate who prides himself on being a defective motion sensing handsoap dispenser filled with one of the most foul fluids imaginable?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Ask politely, nobody answers. Confidently say something completely idiotic and people will be crawling all over each other to correct you.

Take it into your ass if you're a real boytoy, faggot!

you're not going to spend your time wisely anyway

Wrong child. Phagan Russell can afford all the twinkies in the Arizona, stalker.

Everything I say here is
a) completely factually correct
b) based and awesome
and
c) if you disagree you're literally retarded and autistic.

Fuck Wolf Nanaki, all my furry friends HATE Wolf Nanaki.

What happened to Dave's autistic post saying that GVH proves that Hitler did nothing wrong? Did he delete it after he sobered up?

My own clone! Now neither of us will be virgins!

His mother loves him, and he's too autistic to recognize that that's more important than fictional dinosaurs.

 

[OttoWest]

Lolcow Dave Muscato

“My dad has not succeeded in killing me off just yet!”

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Quit talking shit about lawyers and Jews. We're totally wonderful people you fuck face.

 

[Aunt Carol]

so, shocker. i really don't like pedophiles

 

[quaawaa]

You cannot make it a trans exclusive place just to keep the men out.

 

[prolapsed_cranium]

It is better to let the crimes of a hundred lolcows go unpunished, than to reward even a single ween's bullshit with success.

 

[Ensign Faggot]

There's a paragraph where he licks a painting to check if it's genuine linseed oil, without doubt one of the fattest things I have ever read in my life.