random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Speedrunner]

No stalker child, if it makes my multibillion dollar company look bad, then you're just doing it for social media clout. Enjoy the lawsuit!

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

due to some misconceptions, I'd like to let people know im not autistic. Thanks

 

[Dr. Butt]

the results are basically pages of "YO CHECK OUT THIS SPIDER'S MASSIVE PENIS" headlines

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Remember that one time you broke your audio set up and became a gnome? Could have used your magical computer knowledge to figure out how you did it and sold that technology to Nazi femboys.

 

[Clotso Coof]

15 heartbreaking political temper-tantrums that closed barely-functional vanity businesses for petty reasons that'll make you say "men in dresses are women!"

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Does this look like a guy who insists on alternating third person pronouns?

 

[Chinese Democrat]

I Saw a tranny today in a river fully transformed tho,that bitch had an ass!

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

2040s Kiwi Farmer: Sextuple posting is not allowed. Only quintuple post, please.

its like watching a roomba malfunction and smack into a wall over and over.

 

[Spectate]

I know people may dumb react and disagree but I don't care I had sex today.

 

[Dr. Butt]

the RCMP (Retarded Cocksucker Moron Police)

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Is squirting out your kid in a pool some sort of esoteric Australian thing? "Nah it's common sense cunt, the dingoes can't get the baby in the wotah"

Kiwi Farms sure teaches you about yourself and the world.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Can't find mom, all I see are missing dog posters.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

“I saw the most basic bitches of my generation destroyed by gender, starving hysterical naked wearing binders…”

 

[Hulkster]

i wanna be a vtuber and use a voice changer too

 

[Poonocchio]

"I'M NOT JEWISH, I'M NOT JEWISH" I yell over and over as I slowly turn into a dreidel

 

[Aunt Carol]

Logging onto fetlife and having sex with men who fetishize fucking later term pregnancy women is something far more niche and darker than the grim dark future where there is only war.

Wendigoon managed to mispronounce "fetid," which he really shouldn't be capable of given his career path.

The art of being gay without being a faggot is lost to time, it seems.

 

[Sean Andalou]

The old gatekept method was like bumpers on the bowling alley for troons. Now we get to see all the gutterballs.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

The hell you going to re-educate this guy about? How to tell if a fridge consents?

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

I suck cock.

 

[vomitusdeux]

It would be funny seeing dudes dying by horse cock.

Is the Protogen fuck bot supposed to protect him or some shit???

Wait, so SexyDragonKing is the child that was virtually raped?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Go to the police then go to night school.

you should make her a google doc explaining your feelings and post it here

women are very hard to understand for me.

If you reveal your hand I'll teach you how to understand women

Please reassess your life decisions so it does not involve anthropomorphic animals crossdressing

going with "cunt destroyer" would have been like going with "icanhascheeseburger" or something.

Some fucking autist I know IRL sent me donkey kong gay fetish porn as a “joke” and it brought me here from side effect nostalgia.

Just writing out JERSH gives you an 8% fish rating, so I can confirm by that Jersh is 8% fish.

I've said "hey baby girl!" to the dark green folded-up blanket on one end of the bed, while the cat was nestled among the pillows on the other end. Her expectations of me must be so low by now.

You never quite expect pamperchu wearing his ridiculous outfit with diapers underneath when you think faces of meth... But here we are.

"KIWI FARMS IS LYING ABOUT ME" *proceeds to bash head into a wall 15 times*

Ah. I have a KiwiFarm thread. Time to repeatedly bash my skull into the wall and give myself brain damage.

Cancer is bad but even it does not deserved to be inflicted with pamperchu.

It's either that or the reheated SAP (Super Absorbent Polymers) used in diapers has given him super powers. Someone call up the leading cancer hospitals, they got research to do lmao

I wonder what microwaved used diapers mixed with meth smells like?

Here he is using exposed electrical wires to cook a diaper. Because why not?