random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[KiwiFuzz2]

That kid is probably the kind of insufferable little shit you hope gets eaten by a grue.

>Trans Covenant
There are things about HRT even the hierarchs do not understand

How many children do you bite a month, on average?

Think of your happy place being a scantily dressed blonde carrying two pitchers of beer, just like in Happy Gilmore

The AI won't need to murder us. It will just release articles encouraging people to do ever more insanely stupid things to and with their asshole until everyone is dead.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I've long wondered the price I would pay to never see fat people again.

Can we file a class action lawsuit on the grounds of a broken implicit contract? He owes us lulz! Dance monkey by order of the Internet court district!

Fatty was too busy looking at the baby trying to figure out how many minutes it would take to roast at 350 degrees.

The (vaginal) walls are closing in

I think this might prove something even we did not suspect.....he does not copy and paste his empty threat oinks, but writes them all out individually. This has.....genuinely worrying implications on his psyche given how much more effort he is putting in this shit than previously thought

"Are these British in the room with us right now?"

Surely being retarded has a statute of limitations.

the important question is, do they play the benny hill theme while doing it?

A group of men taking turns thrusting a few times into a woman and then lining back up to do it again, over and over? Why on earth would they not be playing some comical music?

Both options are worse, like a staircase designed by MC Escher that only descends.

 

[Aunt Carol]

In a proper and just world he would order Dave to be beheaded publicly as a warning to other retards not to waste the court's time.

Surely being retarded has a statute of limitations.

Also pretty sure the “women invented alcohol” thing wasn’t about Albanians specifically.

 

[NoReturn]

now that I know the people blacklisting me from finance, deleting my accounts, unplugging my shit in datacenters are all Indians it's over for them. I hate Indians more than I hate niggers and jews combined. I would break bread with a black jewish drag queen before shaking hands with a fucking JEET.

every appeal I've ever written, every HR person I've poured patriotic words to, wasted - wasted on the deaf ears of a head bobbling 5'5 shitskinned smelly currynigger

 

[Law]

As a devout christian woman, I hate it when I go to church dressed as a hooker, and the pastor tells me to leave the building. Luckily, the zoo is nearby, and I can sneak into the elephant enclosure, and shove their trunks into my pussy and asshole.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Try to understand the root of the words, we are writing, and were they come from.

 

[Harm]

AND INCIDENTALLY
I HENSTEPL HEREBY RENOUNCE THE ANTICHRIST
AND PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE C.I.A.
AND TO THE UNITED STATES FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.​

 

[Clotso Coof]

Nothing worse than a limp-wristed liberal faggot with beer goggles

 

[Law]

Discords are used for evil, so it's better to not get too deep into them.

I guess there's truth to that old saying "There's a lid for every pot", but I just can't believe that these rusty dented pots are finding so many willing lids.

 

[Aunt Carol]

There's more drama to this, but it will be posted to the yaoi thread.

If you are trying to get someone pregnant, try to cum at around 2,5 knuckles deep, and not any deeper.

Quick poll among cis men on the farms: Does your dick have he/him pronouns or it/its?

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

Maybe she just draws slobbermut on the gusset of her adult briefs every morning, and lets Nature take its course.

 

[Oliver Onions]

israel is taking over the lidl sign

 

[Cnidarian]

All they need to do is remove it, and say it's normal Mc Donald's food and it be 100% better SCP. Normal Food from that fast food place is already disgusting no need to explain how this version is worse.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

“It’s fine,” I say, tugging on her collar. “It’s for an article. Get in.”

I won't lie, I've fallen for this line a couple times.

(You can't have quotes within quotes?)

How was this guy ever skeptical that a dick could go in the pooper?

Has he never taken a life-changing shit before?

 

[Pendulous Dong]

Edit: you were being sarcastic.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did that.

 

[World Famous Quasi Payer]

Da royo ouseho gas a achuly jrawn from regimens loi da Royo Scoss Greys who a genuinely some o da ardes bastas in any Weston military. De’s a very goo chaz if you fuck wif one o dem today da e’s spen a yea o two slo'ing Taliban in Afghanistan an lud erry se'on o i.


Oi know i’s common chu denigrae da Bri'ish ammed foces bu thei Sabe Regimens ave a levo o discipline an mo'ivashon da leaves mos ova weston militaries in da dus.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I would break bread with a black jewish drag queen before shaking hands with a fucking JEET.

Fatrick is now an expert in...

*casts sticks and consults the I Ching*

......ARCHERY

We’ve been through a lot, but nothing as brutal as being publicly associated with Russell Greer.

He was also weirdly obsessed with how he was owed 40 acres and a mule which sounds like some racist joke I'm making up but I swear to god this is all true.

 

[potato sack]

if Terry Davis mailed me a letter calling me a nigger, I'm getting buried with that fucking letter.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Ah the Penis festival.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Total autist death. I will gladly volunteer to be the first against the wall.

The grass is always greener. Sometimes I think sitting in a basement eating chicken tendies and playing video games sounds pretty sweet.

I’m fortunate they didn’t really screen for mild spergery in the 90s, so I was able to get away without being pumped full of chemicals to help enrich our Pfizer overlords.