random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Super Mario Brothers]

Consider yourself lucky, There is a fat furry on top of my house.

 

[30+GameOvers]

A pedophile, a tranny, and a faggot walk into a bar. He is asked to take a shower.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Someone is watching out for him. A lesser demon, I'm guessing, who wishes to prolong the corporeal torment.

her ego is more fragile than the dainty crust of a crème brûlée

Do you ever read a post and suddenly get this overwhelming feeling of dread and anxiety that whatever you are about to read will be so bad you cannot physically take it and quickly close the tab again before it does lasting damage?

 

[goldjak]

"You can live in hell with your herd of nigger cattle or you can put me in charge of the space alien temple."
-Terrence Andrew Davis, smartest programmer to ever live.

Spoiler

 

[Would]

We aren't dimwitted; we aren't nearly all white, rather as diverse as you can imagine; we aren't crying, we're mobilizing, decisively.

 

[Wright]

From messages:

Are Fortnite skins actually valuable? I may be sitting on 1000$ or more if so.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

That's pretty impressive, but what a huge waste of mental energy. Ethical consumption of yaoi is why we can't have cold fusion.

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

I feel very validated in my official position on bats.

Bats on the internet: cute, interesting.

Bats near my person in real life: terrible, go away.

 

[everyone has aids]

"If I'm a lolcow, so be it, it is funny"

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Imao you had sex with a tranny, now who’s the faggot

 

[Magnum Magazine]

Your post seems reasonable, but I indulged too much. I thought 4chan was bad. This takes the cake.

I don't get what happened to the internet. I thought KiwiFarms reputation was overblown, but people here really do act like they're constantly angry and filled with rage. It's not healthy to be here. Good luck.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Not exactly sure I'd post a list featuring the Green River Killer, Rasputin, and the Marquis de Sade as an endorsement of brothels, but Russ gonna Russ.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

its like a less autistic nationstates.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What color are your wife's nipples?

She's a ginger. They don't have nipples. They weren't born. Their hair comes off and ends up in your ass crack. You pull em out and drop em, where they burrow into the ground for 27 years until a fully grown ginger emerges. Like a cicada.

Are you denying the existence of Israel?

Yeah. For fun.

Understandable, have a nice day

If you want to use the sandwich nazi bathroom you have to know the passcode

yep thats definitely testicles being torsioned

He always has been and always will be his own worst enemy.

Jimmy John’s workers are not trying to hide esoteric Nazi imagery in their fucking bathroom door codes, you’re just paranoid.

Welp, so ends my doubtless doomed attempt to think something positive about the man.

 

[Chongqing]

I can't really fully explain this, but click for context.

The Raped has raped me .

 

[El Chacal De La Trompeta]

Any news about Natalie Mars?

 

[Aunt Carol]

1000 years old and still rocking the Rapunzel pubes, eh?

I have no idea if any of my friends have low sperm counts and wouldn't care any if they did.

all the faggots (hey my fellow fags)

That one was definitely written by a MTF. The coprophilia gave it away.

As it is pretty clear from her statement here, the number of non-faked orgasms caused by Mr. Daniel must be at least one.

edit:

I don't like Pac-Man

Me either

Troubling that such people are allowed to vote

 

[a kiwifarms user]

the last time he had an orgasm was probably when he was a kid.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Does Dave have relatives from Rome? I have a theory he may be an Antichrist.

You literally cannot buy bigger shoes. It’s yet another way that Jake suffers in Trump’s America.

That would almost make up for the lack of Tranny Waco.

 

[cyber insecurity]

Normally I wouldn't make a post so soon after making my last, but I feel it's warranted- Ang has found her KF thread. If I'm reading this right, the discovery was so traumatic that it caused her to smash her head against something which lead to a seizure. She also laments that not having died yet makes her look like a grifter lmfao.

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In other news, the site ATFBooru - which is suprisingly not dedicated to the Department of Alchohol, Tobacco, and Firearms - has put up a banner asking it's users to come to Ang's aid.

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My prediction at this stage is Ang will have a meltdown, DFE, and reemerge after a few months.

found out i have a kiwifarms thread. (...) i can't really care anymore. (...) I bashed my head so fucking hard i'm having seizures