random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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The Founding Fathers should have just sat together in the colonial coffeehouses mouthless, ingesting caffeine to the point where the shakes could have communicated the founding ideals of our great nation in a primordial Agarthic Morse code.
 
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I demand a firing squad if I'm getting executed. Let me go out with a little honor left.

My mind reboots every time I see her visage as I keep automatically and subconsciously assuming she's a burn victim.

She looks like she competed on the slap-fight circuit and had an unblemished loss record. Every fight went to a decision, though.

You can see the exasperation on the cop's face while these two dorks document each other's faggotry.

All lolcow fictional beings and informants are messengers and servants to the Godbear and his son Christine Jesus Weston Chandler

The dude is so far up his own narcissistic ass that I'm surprised his entire mass hasn't collapsed on itself and formed a black hole.

Just when i think i can't hate them any more they come up with a new reason to hate them.

He sounded like he was trying to deliver a gloating speech in a film. Of course, James Bond never interrupts the villain's monologue by calling him a fat homo.

I've now watched about 15 minutes of her Destiny debate and lost about 10 IQ points.

there's being nice to the class tard and then there's letting him get away with shitting on your desk because he acts like he doesn't know any better.

Like a lot of things online, these group of retards have taken a relatively simple but also somewhat complex topic and have turned it into a retarded crusade where anyone who doesn't 100% agree with their retarded opinions deserves to be destroyed.

I think even if his consciousness is unable to process it, his subconscious knows hes a total failure of a man.

"I'M NOT FAT" he oinks fatly

Regardless, the guy had such a good life, and he threw it all away over alcohol, drugs, genitalia and genitalia accessories.

That retarded meatloaf head shape is one of his most distinctive features

I'm starting to think it's more of an Opossum spirit rather than a Wendigo spirit that's possessed Jack. No spirit that I know of consumes straight trash like Jack does.

I can't even imagine what kind of charmed, blessed lives these people are living, that a harmless casual remark caused such an emotional upheaval that lasted a week!

Did you ever see the Robert Downey Jr version of Holmes, where he’s supposed to be boxing but he’s just bitch slapping the opponent to humiliate him? Maybe like that, but slapping the bitch-tits instead of the face. I’d watch the hell out of that.
 
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my mom loves getting be candy and other food whenever she is about to do something she knows I won’t like, going as far as to have handed me bite size snickers between insults against me in the past.

 
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