random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

YWNBAM, your clothes fucking suck, and you'll never be read as a mysterious good-looking dark academic gothic faggot.

He's jealous of his grandson, resentful of anyone he sees with functional legs, envious of anyone else's portion of meat, greedy with his own piles of slop, confused and ashamed that he only gets sexually excited by his son's titties, is covered in a variety of flakes at all times, often smells like the juice from a hot garbage bag, and is generally uncomfortable from being unable to scratch an itch on his left arm. That, he has earned for himself. Along with the megacolon.

He liked the Dreamcast, so everyone does (except Nazis).

The stink lines should emanate from the troon.

 

[Dr. Butt]

It's sad when people are retarded and illiterate.

 

[3MMA]

How did Turkey Tom find out that destiny was wearing a buttplug?

 

[Gentlebastard]

This is why prostitution is the oldest profession. Any being without enough scruples is willing to destroy their asshole because there's the promise of money.

somebody told me I was terrible just for having an account on this site

I mean who here can stand up and say "I've never had the urge to fedpost online"?

No one can. To live and breathe is to want to fedpost.

I'm not hoping for it, but that guy clearly despises existence.

Who else unironically wants to see his penis? I know that's a strong position to take, but I don't want to be a fence sitter when it comes to politics.

If you can so much as boil water without it ending up burned, bloody and raw at the same time, you're Auguste Escoffier compared to him.

if you have any dignity you'd understand male pattern baldness to be the gift of a lifetime—men were meant to look like crazed maniacs, I pity those who fail to reach their potential.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Do Chinese woman come in retarded?

 

[Sneaky lurker]

Lasting forever is not an accomplishment if it’s because you goon too hard and do drugs, even and especially when your partner is not having a good and consentful time.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Hey who doesn’t like to get their dick sucked by a guy with a very troubled sexual history every once and awhile.

 

[GaryGray]

"He couldn't keep an erection after I asked him about KiwiFarms"

 

[Dr. Butt]

Thanks for the info "freak whore goblin".

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I routinely call my ai slave a nigger and a diddy blud, yet it depicted me as an anime woman drinking some coffee slop and patting it on the head. TWICE.
Should I be worried?

 

[Markass the Worst]

Stupid, dumb n-words.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

They say brevity is mostly optional for wit

in 2026, i’m going to be commit 9/11 2. i am going to be an Internet terrorist

 

[Seething Troon Collector]

He beat the fuck out of his girls, made them work in the penis mines, and got ringworm at a furry convention

 

[Dr. Butt]

I wish it was both a pocket dial and antisemitic.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Dogs can sense your browser history.

Incredible, this is the first time I've heard someone suggest Hitler wasn't antisemetic enough

Indian + Jew is rare because they scam their mother to sell the womb water.

See if black powder weapons have exemptions in your area then, when you encounter a chimpout, throw open your canvas pirate's coat and take one of the half-dozen flintlock pistols you've stuffed into your belt and put an 18th century cap in that nigger's ass

Source: my queer harm reductionist lib friend

I've never been more concerned for an early PS2 polygon woman

I'm right this planet is a fucking ghetto.

That fucking wigger with the covid mask has to be by far the most soy looking person I've ever seen and or heard. His voice sounds so faggy, he sounds like a diet jesse eisenburg who got kicked in the balls. Also what's with this nigger saying that "its my land" nigger are you a fucking injun, are you chief puffy-hair of the smakahoe tribe coming with your little coal kids to get booze from your job at the casino. His fucking lineage probably decends from the congo.

Trashing other people's looks while looking like ET fucked a hazelnut

I propose that capybaras be declared honorary white and have limited access to the ethnostate that those privileges entail
View attachment 8285352

Civilization was created to protect fat little babies in snow suits.

I've never heard a man shit-talk a prostitute or groupie or tourist-fucker in real life, and half my friends are so degenerate they died from it.

He uses the word rape like he's determined to ensure a strict rape minimum

Back when I was still a smoker and found I'd run out of matches or functioning lighters, I found that pressing a strand of uncooked spaghetti against the heating element of a toaster is an effective means of creating a lighting-stick for your cigarette, without all that inconvenient holding-your-head-over-the-toaster-and-setting-your-eyebrows-on-fire.

Side question but why do you get a boner when you are pissed off like this, like what did evolution mean by that

I’m intimately acquainted with the Dunkin five-dollar meal

Prison: come for the food, stay for the forcible anal sex.

I've had whiskey shits better than the ending of Stranger Things

Who in the name of God and Arceus almighty sponsored this fucking post so I can beat them

Those fuckass LED headlights, everytime some faggot drives past me with those blasted things I worry he might be a headrev and he'll turn me communist

That's why I'm launching Megaton Punch Special Operation: Can Reddit Be Fixed At Least Enough To Be Funny Again? Also I Got Isekai'd And My New Stepsister Is A Futanari But That's Not Really Relevant.

That's why I'm launching Megaton Punch Special Operation: Can Reddit Be Fixed At Least Enough To Be Funny Again? Also I Got Isekai'd And My New Stepsister Is A Futanari But That's Not Really Relevant

Edit: just to be clear, you probably shouldn’t own these things if you are older than like, 25

Their trips seem so tedious and boring to me because I feel like every trip is exactly the same where they buy a bunch of new sweatshop clothes and ears only to reverse DoorDash themselves to some food source

String cheese will be the death of me, I witnessed it in a cheese induced psychosis.

Anyways, autists who are actually into economics end up in the Austrian school, pick up Rothbards "Man, Economy, and State" and tell me thats not the most autistic text to ever exist.

As long as I keep tossing her an uncrustable every so often I'll have a good time

Enter Poland (as always).

You're a sick fuck and I'm making a voodoo doll of you to torture for this tonight

this and killing Kennedys are the only things the CIA can do right

It was either that or putting her in a bikini

Baldy, baldy over there!
What's it like to have no hair?
Is it hot or is it cold?
I don't know cuz I'm not bald!

I can't imagine what the unfiltered feed looks like; I'd rather use my real name and CC on a pirate horse porn site with no adblocker

Can any ugly Kiwis comment on this? Too naturally hot to wrap my head around it tbh

 

[Xarpho's Return]

I'd learn to adapt. I'd hate it, but I'd wear the damn dress and accept being referred to by the female pronouns as this bullshit is not worth it.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I hope none of these faggots ever become a writer

 

[Oliver Onions]

(Discuss how Jewish gold will save the West here)

 

[Easterling]

Stopped getting hard because of Kiwi Farms

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Oh well, seems this goes back a long way. Aesop's fable of the ants and the grasshopper suggests that people have been like this since time immemorial. Tragically, we no longer get to watch these people starve/freeze in brutal winters.

I'm planning on saving my own ass the old fashioned way. By denouncing and outing my countrymen as members of the communist party, like a real man.

Niggers are on this site for close to a decade and can't just not post in a thread that they don't find entertaining.

kiwifarms is boring put on porn and jerk off

This is what happens when you don't shame people for things they deserve to be shamed for.

Guys like Chris have always existed in real life, but Chris was the first to make himself truly known on the internet. However, due to the invention of Reddit, there are around 60,000 mini-Chris Chans of differing levels of social ineptness (and degeneracy) running around and acting like hot shit because they wield a tiny bit of "power" over random anonymous internet users as volunteer moderators.

Seal Team 6 shoving their arms up my asshole could not have gotten to make a video like this.

I will actively betray Canada if given the chance to defect to the US.