random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Metamorpho]

Tim Cook is a homosexual.

That is all.

#NukePuertoRico

 

[pikachudidnothingwrong]

Why would you advertise your product by showing all the ways it can kill you?

 

[RomanianSchizo]

She's like if someone transitioned from female to female.

I want to rape chips right now!

2 gay men eat Ritz.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

5 points to Shyttindor!

"Mmh Ja das is gut, das poopen is made of poopen"

I'm not german (thank God)

Turns out transgenderism is like when you're drunk and can't touch your nose with your eyes closed.

Broken marriages lead children to terrible places.

Is making signs out of LEGO that allude to your teenage son jerking off and then posting it to Reddit kinda weird?

Yeah, but at least they have the poopshelf

The purpose of the poopshelf is so you can inspect your poop for worms to see if you've got parasites. Germans are a disgusting people and get a lot of parasites.

 

[Gregis]

We will see how many posts there are by the end of the day talking about Jerky.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Critiquing and deconstructing are incredibly easy, what are critiquing and deconstructing if not a sophisticated form of bitching?

I don't know what's going on here but all I know is that I want @Betonhaus banned from the Internet & Technology board forever so I never have to see his dumbass takes ever again.

This article is full of bizarre psychobabble coming from weird people with Star Wars names.

He literally has the face of a pug (but more autistic).

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

There’s embroidering a story, and then there’s her Bayeux Tapestry of bullshit.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

Imagine how antisemitic you have to be to somehow be antisemitic about me, arguably the least Jewish person who has ever lived

 

[Law]

Don't blame the moon for sleeping like shit on your sofa.

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

your kid doesn't need to have access to interracial futa porn in his front pocket

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

i know gays dont use machinery unless its butt stuff

 

[Sawamura Simp]

Imagine piloting a C-21 Dragon and committing war crimes in a lush alien jungle.

Septum piercings are the female Sonichu medallion.

Lillith Evertranny needs to keep pumping out barefoot Ahri skins lest Winne the Pooh releases the grooming tapes to the public.

Australia and God vindicated

Spoiler: Bonus

I hope something happens soon so you guys don't have to discuss European incest movies. Things have strayed far from talking about Captain Planet.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Congrats to the villagers in Nibogota, DR Congo, who will get 25 boxes of Patriots Superbowl LX t-shirts and hats!

 

[Toothp!ck]

Imagine how antisemitic you have to be to somehow be antisemitic about me, arguably the least jewish person who has ever lived.

 

[Punished Derich]

Dexter is Roblox Netanyahu; he has founded the Roblox IDF

Quartering: HE'S DRINKING SKYRONE CUM

 

[Dojima's Dragon]

How much do want to bet the zoom-zooms both have had shouting matches with their parents about Boomers ruining the economy and country to explain why they need to fuck loudly in their racecar beds?

 

[Solomon Bundy]

Singing such a cucked out song as a dragon Vtuber for an audience of 200 equally retarded parasocial idiots, while stuck in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere, Canada, broke and raped is so grim. BPD BITCHES NOT EVEN ONCE!

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Autistic men are the only thing stopping autistic women from fucking annihilating the indie scene completely.

Beauty Parlour regulars are genuinely dumb as fuck

I didn't realise that the symptoms of ADHD include molesting children and downloading cheese pizza.

For the record my terminal autism means I uncontrollably post the nigger word on the Internet.

 

[Jershua Coomer Troon]

Superbowl sucks because it's scripted and they use magnets in the ball to control it. You can buy gloves with magnets in them that make catching the ball easier.

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's a nonsense phrase. A thought-terminating cliché, designed to reinforce a rigid belief system. It cannot be rebutted because it doesn't contain meaning.

He also complained that being "forced" to illegally fuck hookers put him at risk of contracting STDs and he had been intimidated, scammed, and threatened by prostitutes (lmao).

He’s the most disgusting man I’ve ever seen online. Bear in mind that I came to this site via Shame “Microsoft” pedo Nokes and Fatrick “threatened to kill my newborn” Tomlinson.

I don’t dare to show my wife this one. I don’t want her to get too MATI.

The Tasmanian tiger only lives on in a forgotten mascot platformer game.

My bet is going to be on the furry community because it's rife with degeneracy, but who knows.

I've never heard of a hyrax before this very moment, and I know a lot of useless animal facts, so this theory that this species was recently spawned into Earth and God is trying to prank me into thinking it always existed is very compelling.

He is such a rat-faced retard he files things in court where he basically says "I'm a criminal who commits crimes all the time so you should rule in my favor."

This guy is a real find, what a freak.

SierraTheWolfe has blessed us with a new post, a real tale that definitely happened. Just two moms hangin' out by the grocery store bathroom. And one of those moms has BIG throbbing tits!

Some part of me has to count itself lucky that I won't ever be in the position of jacking off to gay porn the third time that day and have to stop because my autism spikes and I think "hey does that guy look like that lolcow I follow?"

Sorry bro I can only comprehend political situations when they're explained as a star wars analogy