random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

White people don't season they uteruses.

As senior partner leading a team of seasoned shitposters with over 100 combined years in the industry, I actually disagree with this sentiment.

The kid in the top hat can certainly eat more than honey.

It’s very bad for you to blast the pigment out of your eyes with lasers.

 

[NoReturn]

"It is in no way scientific or rational to assume that because you never saw him with an underage girl he must actually be innocent."​

Source:

Wow, ultra-rare holofoil Watson W. Credit where it's due, she caught this one early.

 

[AMHOLIO]

the way he kept asking for my attention in forum discussion was more annoying to me than the rape fantasies tbh

 

[WelperHelper99]

DRUUUUUUMPFF
USE THE CIRCUMCISION ACT OR MAGA IS FINISHED
AAAAAAAAH

BLUMPF MUST USE THE INTERCOURSE ACT OR I’M KILLING MYSELF!

 

[corvuscorax]

Sometimes I pray for people who wrong me to experience misfortune and my prayers are answered and I do not think it is God answering

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Finally, some real social progress in the third-world shithole space.

MORE! FEMALE! DICTATORS!

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

And what did we learn?

 

[Gog & Magog]

Long ago, in a land far away, I once peeled a banana and then threw away the banana and was stupefied wondering why I was standing there like a retard with a banana peel in my hand.

 

[Potato Burrito]

Lol you can get upvotes for open antisemitism on some subs now. Not quite like "gas the kikes, Hitler did nothing wrong!" but we'll get there.

It takes a lot of balls to admit when you're wrong, so kudos to this eunuch for proving that big balls are not an anatomical feature, but an energy which we all can embody, with or without testicles.

 

[Overly Serious]

We're turning into a meme country. At this rate how can we mock Canada and Britain?

 

[Speedrunner]

UR FRIEND RUBENSIM PURCHASED COINS FROM KIWIFARMS YET U SAT
THERE BEING COMPLICIT AND DID NOTHING TO PREVENT MINORITIES
FROM BEING TARGETED. I RLLY DO HOPE U KNOW THAT KIWIFARMS IS A
HORRIBLE WEBSITE MADE BY RIGHT WINGERS. UR JUST AS BAD AS THE
CEO OF ROBLOX SCHLEP, FUCK YOU.

From this xeet found by Ruben Sim:
(A)

 

[Rockey May]

Furry dudes are so fucking hot, If furries were real I would go full LGBTQ+, I'm not even kidding

 

[Polyarmory]

When he says that praying mantises are sexy bugs he doesn't mean that he would fuck one as a human, only if he were a praying mantis.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

ANGRY POONER ALERT! Opinion discarded.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Getting jealous over hookers is the kind of thing you'd expect to find in some bizarre true crime documentary.

Ronald Reagan was wrong, the most terrifying sentence in the English language is "This project is being handled by an overseas team."

so dumb he actually believed "You can do anything."

He's still a piece of shit, but being a deformed monster hasn't done him a lot of favors.

if he had his personality and looked normal, he'd have been repeatedly savagely beaten

Unless you scream “OH MY GOD, THAT’S A FUCKING TRANNY!!!” at full volume every time you see one, they assume they pass perfectly.

The hooker-chasing phenotype is real.

Wearing his gas-station Packers hat and Captain America tee shirt to bicycle around Paris was the absolute peak of this behavior. He is literally the Ugly American Tourist archetype while believing he's a travel guru.

What you’re describing here is, essentially, slowly feeding someone into a garbage disposal alive, tenderly kissing them throughout the whole process, while sporting a rock-hard erection glistening with sadomasochism and pure hatred.

Having a whipping boy troon to gradually destroy (like a kid who’s gotten bored of merely stretching his Stretch Armstrong, finally putting it in a vise in daddy’s workshop and grabbing tools) would be a remarkable way to destress and healthily channel any bottled up aggression!

 

[PetiteFeet]

I don't date dwarfs

 

[2SLGBQTIA+ 2 Furious]

Expose 100 racist 4chan dogwhistles → Then explain 100 innocuous Tumblr shibboleths → A limited-run art tutorial series → More dogwhistles → A couple months of daily Torah study videos → Sudden pivot back into the original 2004 Star Wars: Battlefront → Maybe counting backwards from one-million to zero if we have time → Close out the year with another 200 dogwhistles.

 

[Hitman One]

It's only homosexual if her balls touches yours.

 

[demicolon]

The topic of beatemups is a difficult one for me, because I have strong feelings on the subject, and so many people say things which are so clearly mistaken, so I must restrain myself from writing up a whole manifesto in response to any given post on the topic, because I'm sure it would only leave me feeling empty in the end. What a horrible night to have autism.

 

[30+GameOvers]

UK is the second gayest Islamic nation on earth.