random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

He's like a delusional, broken clock denying his state and insisting people still regularly visit and consult him to check the time; when the only thing the odd set of eyes does is grimace and comment that he's broken, useless, and past due for some landfill.

It is very imporyant that, as totally regular women, they have large functional penises.

A little fucked up to say, but if I'm seriously going to kill myself, I'd look up what would kill me faster.

if I've learned anything about arguing with retards, it's that the louder you shriek, the weaker your position tends to be

That's the funny thing about the truth: it need not announce its arrival to exist.

he is a bloated, self-serving tick upon the anemic ankles of everyone around him

A crossdresser who describes himself as a "black autistic lesbian transmaxxer" can't shake the feeling that, as an incel who decided to take estrogen, he may actually simply be an incel who decided to take estrogen

Who fucking cares if you have a pussy? Go learn Esperanto or something.

If you're gonna be a retard, at least be consistent.

first thing you look for in a plumber is if he's a fascist

Thank you, Kiwifarms. I can finally be a professional racist.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

"beong" which incidentally is the sound I hope fatrick's tits will make when I slap them about while piledrive assfucking him from the front

 

[LimeRikki]

girls will smell autism like pigs smell truffles.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Seriously though my thumb has AIDS.

Every woman is a lesbian until it's time to lick a pussy.

Inshalla, may your MUDSLIMES be ass fucked by German shepherds and afterlife filled with milkbones.

I don't read the posts here.

Are you whiter than a Narnian protagonist? Do you want to make six figures and bang whores without the chicoms blackmailing you? Get your CDL TODAY

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I thought that you meant that you were circumcised and he took your foreskin home in case you wanted to reattach it as an adult.
Holy shit, I'm retarded

It sounds like Shatika was shat faced.

Absolutely fucking not. I'm not having this.

Hold on tight guys, I'm gonna go fix this real quick. See you in a couple weeks.

It's GUNMAAAAAA'AM!

This pic isn't really jakable so I did some creative liberty THOUGH

 

[Calandrino]

My dad saved my foreskin.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Please, do not make me quote this man's works directly. I will literally kill myself...

 

[a kiwifarms user]

cant believe kiwifarms of all places has had such a historical interest in my sex life.

 

[CallmeCicada]

You’re not autistic you are just unintelligent

 

[JustSomeDong]

HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW?
I DON'T HAVE A FORESKIN

I just googled it you only have 8 hours to reattach a foreskin if you have Jewish buyer's remorse.

This is Kiwifarms.

Also this better not turn into another circumcision debate, there's already enough of that.

I just realized you said that your dad saved your foreskin and I thought that you meant that you were circumcised and he took your foreskin home in case you wanted to reattach it as an adult.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Why are Canadians so retarded, like actually, is Canada placed on a big mine of plutonium or something, that gives all Canadians some weird mental illness?

 

[Glaust]

Not sharing a new quote, just curious where this quote originated:

“According to Enoch. the first 3 shallowest layers of heaven are dedicated to observing and recording the dumb shit people do. Kiwifarms is ironically the closest thing to heaven on earth. ”

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Maybe the dragon just likes having a pal along for the ride? If I was a dragon (or a wizard that could turn into a dragon) I'd gladly have a little knight dude on my shoulders when I'm flying into battle.
And if he shouts "fly us closer so I can hit them with my sword" I'd tell him "hell yeah brother" and fly us closer so he could hit them with his sword.

Good month for autism, July of 2000.

You bunch of gay nigger degenerates.

Some of the lowest effort ERP I've ever read. No effort. No creativity.

This may sound a little homophobic but this is a bunch of faggot shit and everyone involved should be killed.

decades of attempted suppression and chuds are still NIGGERposting wherever possible
meanwhile zoomoids got oneshot so hard by big tech advertisers that they have now internalized corporate censorship into their very thoughts
bleak

Redditors: We should unalive eye sea eee and grape their people-of-playground

KiwiFarmers: Kill all trannies.

I really really really fucking hate indians. It feels good to say that

COGITO ERGO SUM, I THINK, THEREFORE I AM. FOR I AM AM.

two women cannot make a baby there needs to be sperm

I will never accept that spiders can see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch.

Takes skill to produce art that looks that terrible with 200 art AIs all giving their shit away free

That's awful. Does our wife know about this?

I won't eat Oreos because they have the Leviathan Cross on them.

Even chatgpt calls him retarded

Having a fat body isn't as crippling as having a fat head.

You zero-standards lack-of-object-permance abused wife consoomer faggots disgust me.
Anyway I give the trailer a C plus.

Today I found out that helping someone poop is actually a great form of foreplay.

I can now introduce this thread to the uninitiated. Thank you, Kiwifarms. I can finally be a professional racist.

"You see this handful of pills that makes my dick not work? Yeah that means I'm great in bed "

 

[Sawamura Simp]

So let me get this straight. You ask a former president if aliens are real, he says yes and then you don’t follow up????????

This may sound a little homophobic but this is a bunch of faggot shit and everyone involved should be killed.

Let us celebrate the site's return with Trump's latest felting of Canada

we're all fucked and im probably going to move to sakhalin, fuck the rest of you.

Also this better not turn into another circumcision debate, there's already enough of that.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What a miserable fucking gooner goblin. He's probably that weird kid in high school that skulked about beneath the bleachers looking for an exposed ass crack.

Personally when I say someone looks like they live in a trailer park I am not lusting over them, but you do you.

I don't dislike Greyhound either, and when I've had to use it, I sat in the back with the other crazy people.

I still find it hilarious that not even the woke white women and jews will go to bat for the Indians. They're so fucking repulsive that even the most rabid of batshit insane SJW are like "ok, uh, you can have this one. Just a little Racism. As a treat."

This is one of the fattest sentences I've ever read.

We're living to see manmade retardation beyond our comprehension.

The ticket costs only your mind...or a firm, juicy dachshund.

All of these guys at the SEX CLUB agreed with me 100% and were so nice, it must be because they want to live in a matriarchy and no other possible reason!

"You see this handful of pills that makes my dick not work? Yeah that means I'm great in bed "

You’re both cut from the same neurotic, degenerate, miscreant cloth.

Autism is a gateway to many abilities... including those some would consider "unnatural."

 

[Sensitive Young Man]

@Josh Delete the account please, thanks.

 

[The Nothingness]

Apparently they just raided and arrested Prince Andrew. Should've paid his pedo loicence I guess.

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

Yes my name is Dick Surprise, I manage 17 year old boy bands but I DEFINITELY don't try to fuck them.

there is no Orwellian entity here that wants to kill you just for the fuck of it, nor Mr Shekelberg who's trying to replace you because he was promised a Big Tiddy Goth Khazar Milker Robot Wife 3000 years ago.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Learn molecular biology, isolate the gay gene, do a PhD in bioengineering to develop a retrovirus that infects you into becoming a lesbian.

Teachers can say you're a pleasure to have in class, parents can say they never saw any signs, but girls will smell autism like pigs smell truffles.

posted above but the longer version is good too

are you ok mentally or nah? Just curious

Wow. Judgemental people like you are why that serbian film did so poorly at the box office.

 

[MetokurGroomedMe]

Being a court-appointed criminal defense attorney is often more like being a psychopomp guiding wayward souls through the underworld.