random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[The Nothingness]

You don't engage in shady business dealings online without talking to the wife first? And you call yourself a man?!

 

[SNEED.EXE]

Fuck you. I found $5 on that beach when I was a kid back in the '70s. I used it to buy rubber snakes.

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

He doesn't wear underpants so hopefully the gunt flaps defended the cops from the ralphacob.

 

[mindlessobserver]

IN 2019 NEW ZEALAND GANGSTER POLICE TRIED BEATING ME BLOODY, DRAGGED ME IN CHAINS FROM BELGRADE NIKOLA TESLA AIRPORT, SINCE THEN I HIDE IN FORCED JANNY POVERTY ALONE IN THIS LOW DEADLY NIGGERFORUM BOARD. THE BRAZEN DEADLY TRANNY POLICE AND NIGGERPUPPET UNDERLINGS SERVE ME WITH POISONOUS COURT PAPERS CONJURED UP BY HORMONES SYNTHESIZED FROM BATHTUBS AND EVEN GROCERY BAGS. DEADLY ASSAULTS EVEN ON MY FORUM WITH THREAD DERAILMENTS EVEN WITH HOLLYWOOD HULK HOGAN. EVEN WITH DEGENERATE GAMBLERS OR 240 POUND XANAX ADDICTS. EVEN WITH VAXCASIOSLY TRAINED LITIGIOUS HOTDOG EATING TURKEYS IN MAXIMUM SECURITY SECTION 8 HOUSING FOR WRITING THESE UNFORGIVABLE TRUTHS UNTIL MY UNDETECTABLE EXTERMINATION. I, JOSHUA C. MOON OOPERATOR, 2410 WOLFETOWN RD, PENSACOLA FLORIDA, I STAND ALONE AGAINST YOUR MAD, DEADLY GANGSTER COMPUTER TRANNY, WORLDWIDE CONSPIRATORIAL GANGSTER COMPUTER TRANNY COMMUNISM WITH WALL-TO-WALL GANGSTER COMPUTER TRANNY DDOS PROTECTION, LIFELONG SWORN CONSPIRATORS DDOS ATTACK INCORPORATED ORGANIZED GIRL TALKS WITH THE CLOUDFLARE AND TIER 1 ISP's, THE DEADLY SLEEK PARROTING PUPPET TRANNIES.

The NEW, FAKE, PHONY "HORMONES" in the TRANNY BATHTUB. For AGES before frankentrooncontrols, oriental TRANNIES un-breedable with HUMANS had no penises NOT EVEN TESTICLES. DDoS conspiracy over 8 years ago, ideally bloackheaded oriental TRANNIES gangster government EYESIGHT TV GANGSTER SPY CAMERAS, computer tranny NEW WORLD ORDER degeneration.

DONATE MONEY, or even an NVIDIA SERVER GPU to ME.

For your ONLY HOPE FOR A FUTURE.

 

[Gentlebastard]

If you hold a Chicago-style hotdog up to your ear, you can hear gunshots in the distance

Okay just hear me out before you judge. I can totally donate 5 live coyotes but you need to take delivery between 2am and 6:30am this coming Tuesday only. I can deliver to most places in the panhandle and coastal Alabama. You know what trannys are afraid of more than soap? 5 coyotes delivered to you in the back of a 1991 Aerostar. Consider it.

Pathetic attempt at trolling or not I have to hand it to you this is the gayest sentence I have ever heard on the internet in my entire fucking life.
Bravo.

Sir this is the Indian Hate thread, go and seethe about "christcucks" and "hordes of niggers" elsewhere, thank you.
Here we point and laugh at the humanoid dung beetle race.

I thought Tesco was a grocery store.

It's worse. It's a British grocery store.

She’s affirmative actioning this thread with her foul negromancy

I remember once seeing someone argue with a bugman and saying "well do you want to ban kitchens too? They're unused most of the time and people might be cooking unhealthy food, something might even catch fire, someone might scald themselves with hot water...", and the bugman, without a hint of irony, replied along the lines of "well we'd need experts to discuss that first, but if they agree then I don't see why not". This was IRL, too, not someone trolling on the internet. I firmly believe that these people don't have souls.

I have on good authority to say that gas stoves are of the devil! You think they use natural gas? They work by pumping hellfire straight from the tap. Everytime you turn on your stove you are letting a little bit of hell into your home. Do you want your children's food warmed by Lucifer's butthole?

Lolcow proxy wars is the exact thing this site needed to keep it fresh.

"I share my wife with other men because the days we don't sleep together are underutilized capacity."

The fight for the inalienable, God-given right to speak my absolute dogshit opinions without violence by the state cannot be surrendered.

Disclaimer: I am not Jewish and as such am poor

Magic attracts autists and gamers, and even autistic gamers. So you're stuck with people that want to use the gamer word, and people that want to chop off their dick. And neither want to take a shower.

A day may come when the courage of Kiwis fails, when we forsake our shitposting and break all bonds of frenship, but it is not this day.

i'm seeing great positivity and support around the lawsuit arc but next week we'll be on part 89 of yelling at the dsp people and eating cheese.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

The chemistry between these people is similar to the chemistry between bleach and ammonia.

 

[Law]

he didn't lie about it, he told "microtruths"

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

DISCLAIMER: I am drunk and barely read the OP and love my wife

That's the dumbest idea I've ever seen.

If there is a woman in a game, I WILL masturbate to her.

 

[TheArtilleryman]

Sorry Caleb, your kidney is going to have to wait a month or two, we're saving the last place on the Internet that you can say nigger

Since I do actually have a heart - Caleb already has a donor lined up, the GSG is for future expenses and also to support the family of the donor.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

He's back... And with a face more square than ever before

I refresh the page and get brown pants in return.

Keep in mind that my legal training consists of watching My Cousin Vinny and Shawshank Redemption

Theyre also really cute, in an ugly sort of way

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

He's dead, so probably can't atm.

And the smells? Always free. They'll never charge you for em.

they made the grand mac wider instead of making the meat thicker, it really was just a wide mac

Seeing a lot of "ilk" lately. The only >people who should ever be using that word are potato-shaped middle school teachers with lopsided tits.

Tell your bitch wife that you decide the temperature in the house.

ok nigga we get it, you want to fuck Cell

you seem like a Connecticut nigga if I ever saw one.

Bastards need to put some more mayonnaise to their burgers. Sometimes the little cheeseburger tastes like bastards had put two crusty buns together, cooken a dead seagull into patty, squirted a drop or two of ketchup and spit between the buns.

To compare Mcdries to Hesburger.. now there are some decent God damn burgers that will plug your veins, shorten your lifespan by 20 years, cause you stroke and give you a proper amount of mayonnaise.

I've successfully bullied two people out of using Temu. I'd do more but I'm not very sociable.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

"I did not search for "Mike Flynn didn't murder Mike Pence." I did not do that."

 

[Glaust]

@Pedophobe Can't quote or reply normally, but:

Null said:
As long as you guys believe that I can run this carnival I will be your ringmaster.

Probably the most profound thing I've seen today lol. That absolutely belongs in random.txt.

 

[Clotso Coof]

I just don't see how anyone could be enticed to play what is basically a collector game where the only things you can collect are ugly and stupid, like being a pickup artist in Guatemala

 

[Cnidarian]

In a previous age (and even in some places today) a man could just go take a vow of celibacy, dedicate himself to study and make beer with the bros in a monastery, now that man is kept in a state of arrested adolescence and is used as a universal punching bag.

 

[Sooty Soot]

By @The Saltening in Sneedchat

who put my gock in your mangina

 

[mr. testicular torsion]

I don't understand how anyone could have an offensive username.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

The answer to that lies in incest + autism.

 

[Potato Burrito]

I'm a one-man DDoS right now.

 

[CEO of Gay]

I love seeing weaponized autism in auction!

Probably a typo, but it was still funny.